beddy3484

I know I go over the same stuff constantly, but it really does help me to write and then just hear people's responses. Even if I say the same thing over and over again and get the same responses.

Sometimes I am so happy to be sober, sometimes I am not. I know it is making my life better and I try so hard just to concentrate on that. But I honestly miss being high. The thought of not having a beer again hurts. I wish this was just easy, I know it's not going to be, but I just wish.

Why do I have to miss being high? Why do I have to be a person that likes being high?

Life is going great and I know I am totally more present. But the reason I got high sometimes is because I don't always like being present. Does that sound weird?

I am committed to this, but man, I do struggle.

Thank you for everyone's help. It is always appreciated.

erics

You are grieving. Plain and simple. Allow yourself to grieve but don't romanticize the poison.

Soberwolf

Congrats Beddy

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Beddy!!

Dee74

The longer I stayed sober beddy and worked on building that new sober life, the more I changed.

I missed being drunk or high for a while too - but the thought of it is repugnant to me now.

44 days is great but it's still early days - keep it going. You'll change too

D