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Not sure what to think about this comment

Old 03-16-2015, 01:14 PM
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Not sure what to think about this comment

I quit drinking on August 2, so it's been a little over 7 months. Finally everyone knows and I recently saw a good friend of mine. She says "I was hanging out with Chris (a mutual friend and former drinking/party buddy) and he said "I am MAD that Lia quit drinking."

What purpose does it serve for her to tell me that a mutual friend is upset I quit drinking? She goes on to tell me the only reason he is pissed is because we used to have fun and get crazy together. It's almost like she couldn't wait to tell me what Chris said. One of my biggest fears about quitting drinking is losing my "fun, party personality."

Thoughts? Thanks. Still struggling from time to time.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:15 PM
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"what other people think of me is none of my business"

Good for you on 7 months!!!
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:18 PM
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I think we often find out who our true friends are when we stop drinking.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:19 PM
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Sorry but Chris doesn't sound very nice xxxxx
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:19 PM
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I guess it's the same as saying, "I'm mad Lia was valedictorian at graduation."

That's how much sense it makes.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:19 PM
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If it were me, I'd just ignore it. Don't lose any sleep over what someone said about you.

Congrats on your 7 months sober!
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:20 PM
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True, thanks. I just can't help but get her intentions out of my head. It's almost like she was chomping at the bit to tell me that someone didn't like the idea of a "sober Lia."
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:23 PM
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I guess I don't mind so much that Chris made the comment because he didn't say it to me directly.

What bothers me is that this other friend couldn't wait to bring it to my attention. I haven't seen her for months, and this is the first thing out of her lips after our hugs hello.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:25 PM
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Chris lost a drinking buddy.

But I bet you have not heard from him otherwise (telling)

People gossip because they don't know any better.

Whoop de Doo.

Stay on track.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:26 PM
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Maybe Chris is harboring guilt about ongoing drinking problems. Who knows?

The other friend sounds like a pot-stirrer. But I have no real knowledge of that.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:26 PM
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All of my true friends have become accustomed to a SoberLeigh; yours (any one who truly matters) will become accustomed to a SoberLia - I promise.

Let that comment roll off your back, down the street, around the corner and far away.

I now have far more fun sober than I ever did drinking.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Lia~ View Post
I guess I don't mind so much that Chris made the comment because he didn't say it to me directly.

What bothers me is that this other friend couldn't wait to bring it to my attention. I haven't seen her for months, and this is the first thing out of her lips after our hugs hello.
In my experience people would sometimes react that way because they knew deep down that they were drinking too much themselves and were slightly bitter or envious.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by JD4010 View Post
Maybe Chris is harboring guilt about ongoing drinking problems. Who knows?

The other friend sounds like a pot-stirrer. But I have no real knowledge of that.


Oooh, snap !!
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:28 PM
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Well it tells you two things about her:
She has a big mouth and she likes drama!
Whether you want those kind of energies in your life is really your call.
Congratulations on 7 months btw, well done!
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:29 PM
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It might be time to evaluate who you remain friends with. It sounds like jealousy and perhaps some sabotage thrown in, but again, what others think is none of my business.

I have gotten to the point were I understand this is my life, I only get one. Am I going to live it so others can be happy with me or I am happy with myself?

I choose myself.

I have to live with me everyday. No matter where I go, there I am and I would much rather be at peace with me, then at peace with what others think about me.

Don't over think it, you will drive yourself nuts trying to live in some one else's head, I have enough going on in my own. Don't borrow trouble
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:30 PM
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I only have 2 friends and there is nothing in the world they would like more for me then to be sober. One of them who knows me best, told me for sure it`s gonna kill me. And I know it`s true. I would re-evaluate these friends if I were you.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:30 PM
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yup, she sounds like a pot-stirrer.

I'd be a little more cautious around her.
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Old 03-16-2015, 01:43 PM
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Chris sounds like a hot mess himself. Be glad he's not your "buddy" anymore. Anyone who truly cares about you would never be mad you quit drinking.

Great job on your sobriety! Be proud of who you are!
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Old 03-16-2015, 04:16 PM
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Thank you so much. Most people have been supportive, but then these snide comments confuse me. This "pot-stirrer" suffers with depression and anxiety and I have always had her back when she was sick. I guess I feel like she was trying to have me second guess my decision to quit alcohol. It resonated with me a little.

But thanks for reminding me that the only opinion that matters is mine, I guess I need to hear that sometimes.
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Old 03-16-2015, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Lia~ View Post
I guess I feel like she was trying to have me second guess my decision to quit alcohol. It resonated with me a little.
Personally, I believe on a subconscious level she was trying to have you second guess your decision. She is probably not comfortable with you being sober. But that is her problem. Some people are very ignorant of the issues problem drinkers must deal with, so they often attempt to suggest that you really don't have a big problem. Don't let her get into your head. Your business isn't her business, and if she doesn't get that, kick her ass to the curb. Your sobriety is too important to put up with anyone who doesn't support you 100%.
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