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Mental Disorder?

Old 08-17-2004, 11:35 AM
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Unhappy Mental Disorder?

Hi I am Jessica, 19, alcoholic/addict. I am recently sober for the third time of 9 days :banghead:. I have found myself in a place that I have never wanted to be again. I am very deeply depressed. I have been told by many psychiatrist and psychologist that I have bi-polar, schizophrenia, and many other mental disorders. When I was in active addiction I never really felt these symptoms that I have now. I used to numb myself to those feelings and effects. I tried to numb the bad stuff and in return also numbed to good feelings. So now that I am feeling some feelings for the first time it is scaring me. Scaring me to the point that I wish I could just blow my head off. So now at 9 days of sobriety I am starting back with the symptoms that scared me into using again the second time. I am starting to panic often, feel closed in, and stressed to the max ! I have also started back in with the flash backs that I had earlier on in my teen years, before the using started. I have flash backs of me as a child. I don't know what is going on or who I am with. They are so real. I feel as if I am being hurt in a way that a little girl should not be hurt. I feel the anger, the sadness, and the rage start building up inside of me. These flashbacks can happen at anytime, anywhere. Something always triggers them though, a voice, a sound, a smell, a sight, a physical feeling, or emotional feeling. I am just scared out of my mind. I have been looking for psychiatrist to go see. I called my old one but since I moved away for 6 months I am not considerd his patient anymore and he isn't taking any new patients. My insurance is horrible so I can't find any professional to take me because of that reason. So I figured I could maybe gets some feed back from everyone here and at my local NA/AA meetings.
Thanks
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Old 08-17-2004, 11:40 AM
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Hi Jessica,

Welcome and I'm very glad you found us. Congratulations on your decision to lead a sober life. I dealt with depression by drinking. I couldn't get diagnosed and treated correctly and as a last resort turned to drinking. Of course, that started a whole new set of problems.

I believe there is some information on flashbacks on the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder forum on this board.

I hope you hang around and find the information you're looking for.

Love, Anna
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Old 08-18-2004, 12:26 AM
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I can empathise with you, Jessica......I suffer from Paranoid Psychosis & Clinical Depression & I am trying to kick Pot. We are here for you....

God Bless
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Old 08-18-2004, 12:29 AM
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Thankyou for sharing your story, Jessica...My thoughts are with you......
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