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Types of therapy

Old 03-11-2015, 09:22 AM
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Types of therapy

So I have been thinking of seeing a therapist. I saw an addiction counsellor when I got sober but I think I got everything I needed out of her sessions with me. I am now thinking of addressing some of the underlying issues as well as how my divorce is affecting me sub-consciously. Consciously I feel positive about it, strangely guilty for feeling positive about it. Liberated is the word I find, even though everybody around me seems to approach me with pity which is annoying as all heck. Feels bad just typing that.

In regards to therapy, I have heard of different types but really don't know what they mean, but I would like to specialize on ones that sound like they would be most beneficial. Or, should I just trust that the therapist I am "assigned" to do his/her job with me. The good thing is that I won't have to pay for it, because Canada has socialized health care, but the downside is that I don't really have a choice up front in the therapist and style of therapy before I go into it. I can make suggestions, or ask about different techniques once I am "in" with the therapist. Maybe I should just dive in and hope that it has some profound healing effects on me, or is there something specific that has really helped people grow in recovery and move forward?
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:26 AM
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Always a good idea having a honest frank discussion with your Dr/Gp

Good work on your progress Justin
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:33 AM
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Sounds like you are making some positive steps Justin. Regarding the therapist, i'd say just go to the general one first and see what they have to say. If you need to be referred to a specialist or a different type of therapist down the road you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:37 AM
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Group therapy was very helpful for me.
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:41 AM
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I've been in an intensive outpatient program that has been extremely helpful, however it's more cognitive restructuring focused rather than group therapy. I've also been thinking about a personal therapist. I say go for it Justin, can only help!
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:49 AM
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I hear you about the pity thing, I rebelled against that myself.

Good question Justin, was thinking of asking a similar one recently

I don't know much about differences between therapy and counseling
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Old 03-11-2015, 10:03 AM
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It might be helpful to get a suggestion from your dr.
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Old 03-11-2015, 10:09 AM
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Hey, great topic I've been interested in psychology since my early teens really... and wanted to become a professional also when I was in high school. I changed directions later, but have come back into it massively in my 30's... well that's a long and personal story and may not be too relevant here. I'm also in a related field now professionally.

When I got sober, after about 2 months, I decided that I really wanted to get into therapy. But was a bit confused how to start it, despite what I considered a pretty above average knowledge about it. So, like you now, I started asking around, both in my professional circuits, among my friends, and on SR. I think there are a few possibilities to get it started. One that I tried was signing up with an academic type program that provides various psychotherapy approaches, depending on individual assessment. Where I live, there are institutions and university sections for this. You contact them, submit an application (it usually asks you to detail why you are seeking therapy and some standard simple history). Then you can go in for an intake interview with a counselor, where you can say much more, and they also ask questions. Then they may assign a therapist to you based on the application and interview results. Where I live, they also often have sliding scale payment, if you worry about finances.

I did this at two different places, and at both I was quite impressed by the process and by their professionalism. I then chose one of the places, and to see the therapist they chose for me. It wasn't an inappropriate designation at all, much more that I'm just far too aware of what and who I like and want at a given time. I did not feel that particular therapist could have brought that to me. But he, and the institution that hosted him, were very helpful to give me ideas how to look specifically for what (who) I wanted. They did not refer me, just gave me a few guidelines.

Then I started to do my own research... took a couple weeks. I thought as deeply as I could about what my goals were. There is a lot about therapy online, you can view sessions, for example... using different approaches. I watched tons of Youtube videos. Some are very artificial and others are better, but I found that a good help in my search. I also started to research available therapists online, once I'd identified the approach I was going with at the time.

This is a good resource in the US, just as an idea... maybe there are equivalents in Canada?
https://therapists.psychologytoday.c...rof_search.php

The approach I chose back then was "existential therapy" -- mostly because the theoretical framework of it was very familiar to me, very natural given my own personality, interests, thinking style. So I went with one of these therapists that I found, for nearly a year. He was a more senior person and I did it in private (means out of my pocket) because he seemed to be everything I wanted at the time. We also had a superb interpersonal connection (I come back to this later).

A year forward, and I've learned so much! Just more recently, I changed my therapy, building on the first year's progress and on the relationship with my first therapist. I just started with a new one, and this is also a somewhat different approach compared with my first choice. I'm doing psychoanalysis now, 3x a week. My current analyst was referred to me by the previous therapist. Only positives to say so far, and I also feel that if anything, this is yet another very natural method for me, so easy for me to align with it. Like recovery methods. Find what works.

So, I think therapy is a journey... just like recovery. A very important thing I would like emphasize is that therapy tends to serve us best if it's a good working relationship. In this sense, it's different from what we are used to with doctors, for example. The interpersonal connection is something I tend to be naturally aware of with people, so this seems to serve me well with my therapist choices also. But even if your instincts are not that sharp in this, do go with who you like in a personal way.

I don't want to give you specific or practical advice because in this matter, I think it's best if we figure these out ourselves. Just my experience; and will add that therapy, for me, is something that's pretty far beyond just a treatment form... it's a continuous and potentially endless learning trip. I enjoy it a lot and I can totally see myself as someone doing it for the rest of my life.
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Old 03-11-2015, 11:02 AM
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Thank you everybody for the responses. Very very helpful! I am certain now that therapy is totally worth it for me, just to process some stuff. Thank you haennie for dropping so much useful insight into the possibilities of therapy. I'm "picking up" what you guys are "putting down" totally. thanks.
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Old 03-11-2015, 11:13 AM
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Some therapies are more about talking it out with the therapist (cognitive behavioral therapy CBT, client-centered Rogerian, existential)... then there is psychoanalytical (Freudian) where you do all of the talking without much feedback (must go 3x a week...expensive and time consuming)...and there is Gestalt therapy (talking to a empty chair). The most common type of therapy today is CBT because it is short term and goal oriented. Therapist works on current issues instead of exploring the past and why that would effect you now.
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:05 PM
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Hi Justincredible.

I feel as though I should have a lengthy and comprehensive answer or solution for you, but I don't know you well enough to provide one or to recommend a particular school of psychotherapy. In real life, I have an easier time referring people to therapists whose work I'm familiar with or to a specific type of therapy that I think would be helpful.

The kind of comprehensive intake at reputable institutions that haennie described is pretty much the ideal in these parts. When I meet a new patient that would be better off working with someone else, I make a referral, but not everyone does this.

It's a good idea to think about what you want to accomplish in therapy before you start and what kind of person you'd like to work with. The question that I always ask myself and not necessarily to a new patient is, "Why now?"

To overly generalize and simplify...In the work I do, a great deal of the healing process revolves around identifying a meaning or purpose in life, which can work as an umbrella for dealing with a range of concerns. I'm also interested in a person's early and recent history and in their relationships with friends, family and lovers. Their unconscious content and their dreams. Relationship-building also plays a major role in my work, providing an opportunity for patients to work through (our, his/her) relationship struggles in a safe place. For me, it is in large part the relationship that heals.

It's been said that if the therapist is working harder than the patient, then something is wrong in the therapy. I'm always moved when I meet someone who's willing to work through their struggles in life, who's learned from their suffering, and who trusts me enough to invite me to walk through their inner lives with them.

One final note...Years after my two earlier therapists could no longer work with me for reasons beyond our control, I'm still learning from them, and sometimes hear their voices when I think or speak. This is not something that's highly publicized or well known by most people, but it's a very common occurrence. Therapy is often a beautiful thing.
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Old 03-12-2015, 08:28 AM
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I really appreciate the knowledgable replies Art and Endgame. I really hope I find a great therapist to work with. I called around and discovered that there is in fact a place that is partnered with a local University that offers online sessions that I may check out in addition to my face to face meetings. There is also groups offered for anxiety and depression that I signed up for starting this Wednesday. As for the therapist option they are booking into June! Luckily they have a "walk-in" option every day which I could try just to talk to a few different therapists, and if I really connect with one and feel the session was a success I can book with that therapist instead of waiting until June.

Another thing that has been mentioned is the "goal" of therapy or as Endgame put it "why now?" that is an excellent question that I am giving some thought too. Obviously my situation has brought me to a point where I feel some de-briefing as well as some healing, but as for specifics its something I am thinking a little more on.

I am going to investigate the private sector, which I will have to pay for but I think the options will be greater, and it will be money well...invested.

Thanks I hope everybody is having a great day!
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Old 03-12-2015, 09:51 AM
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Good work Justin
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:13 AM
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Wow, Justin - I notice that your recovery energy is on high this week. I have little to add to the above thread, except to witness and support your ongoing bravery & effort in deepening your recovery.

I've had some very positive experiences in therapy, though I've always taken the "available" or "insurance covered" therapist, whoever I was assigned. I was never deliberate about the choosing of method or person. Interesting, because I am discerning about choices in other aspects of my life (I've put more energy into choosing my hairdresser than my therapist - although admittedly, I have difficult hair...)

At any rate, your quest has inspired me. Maybe it is time to add this element back into my recovery. And - EndGame - I am going to use the "why now?" question in many aspects of my life! I never ask that of myself! The "why now?" of feelings, obsessions, projects, dreams, frustrations, or ex-boyfriends re-contacting me... Huh...
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by heartcore View Post
Interesting, because I am discerning about choices in other aspects of my life (I've put more energy into choosing my hairdresser than my therapist - although admittedly, I have difficult hair...)
That made me laugh! Funny but so true. So far I have spent way more time researching the right protein supplement, or on the body building sites "Brotein".. But when it comes to therapy "?'s" I really procrastinate.

I guess I do feel more motivated this week. Fighting off the procrastination ninjas!
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Old 03-12-2015, 11:59 AM
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My procrastination tendencies were one of the main issues and goals that I wanted to address when I started therapy. It was a really bad one because I actually tended to procrastinate the very things that I liked best and found most meaningful. Like some sort of masochism. Cutting myself off from my best source of inspiration... then wondering why I have no motivation? Yeah I also procrastinated the whole therapy thing... it was something I wanted to do many years before I actually finally got into it.

I had these tendencies when I was very young, (in school, for example), then for a good while not much, and it came back with a vengeance as much drinking was getting worse and worse. Many of the "mistakes" I felt extremely guilty about during my drinking were coming from this... I tried to work on it by myself when I was younger, then when I was newly sober -- to no avail. Therapy helped tremendously, and very fast! Now I just need to keep an eye on my discipline and keep using the tools I've learned. We also figured out very well the underlying causes. One big relief! I hope it will last.
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Old 03-12-2015, 06:40 PM
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As a current recipient of therapy, and having met with at least 12 therapists for anything from one first session to most of a year, I can say that the #1 most important criterion for selecting a therapist is that you feel a strong personal connection to him/her. If you respect, like, feel comfortable around, and bond with your therapist, you will be able to share your genuine feelings and trust what they say. This is not to say that he/she should be the sort of person you would choose for a friend, but that you feel good about going to appointments and are able to get real work done during the session.

Trust your gut! In the same way that you get a certain feeling about a person when you meet someone for the first time, you can generally tell pretty quickly how well you will be able to work with a certain therapist.

That said, don't stick around with anyone who still takes that Freudian bull$#!& seriously. I currently see a psychologist who specializes in experiential therapy and psychodrama, which I love because it's centered around physical movement, role-switching, and other more tangible ways of processing feelings than just sitting on a couch (e.g., engaging in a dialogue with your AV/better future self). As others have said, ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy, also research-proven to be effective), CBT, DBT, etc. are your best bets. And again, the approach that makes sense and feels good to you is the best one to stick with.
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Old 03-12-2015, 09:36 PM
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Awesome topic! I've been considering seeing a therapist myself, but have been a little apprehensive about it. Let us know if it seems to be helping
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Old 03-13-2015, 08:01 AM
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Well I think I have a few goals for therapy now thanks to you guys. Procrastination, self-sabatoge which ties well into drinking/using would be a good starting point. The "what now?" and the "why now?" are great starting questions. I feel like I am embarking on a path of self discovery and it is a little exciting! I am shaking the remnants of inadequacy for not fitting into a marriage that just wasn't meant to last. I just have a feeling of needing to move forward and get back to my authentic self as well as meet my new self!
Sorry if I "dressed it up" a bit too much, I have a trouble being direct sometimes...

I'm going to meet up with a therapist on Monday morning. A little nervous. I will keep ya posted!
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:59 AM
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Sounds like a good start, Justin. I think it's not necessary to define too many goals and in a lot of detail detail right now because the process will most likely guide and form them anyway. For me, when I first started, my questions and goals were mostly existential... the procrastination I mentioned, things about my career and my purpose with it, lifestyle stuff, do I need drastic changes in these or more just fine tuning, what's the place of sobriety in all this (or the other way around), etc. And for the timing ("why"), it was because this whole recovery thing initiated a lot of questioning and changes (that were already incubating for a long time, years, before that point), and it was time to tackle them. I was not too interested or concerned about my relationships and interpersonal life back then -- that came during the actual work and also from other areas of my life in the last year or so. Then reached a point that now ~it has become my primary area of focus with what I want to address in therapy (and in general), and hence the recent approach change mostly (I really want to get into this whole universe deeply now), plus my curiosity.

Good luck for Monday If you are nervous... a psychologist friend of mine likes to say that bringing something familiar (for you) may help... like something to drink or eat, or some music to listen to while you are going there... I've never tried any of these but did many times before job interviews and other meetings that made me nervous, long before I ever heard it as a recommendation.
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