New to Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Katy,Tx
Posts: 1
New to Recovery
Hello everyone, this is my very first time to post on any type of forums site. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 9 years, and have two children. He recently returned home after a program he completed in a facility. This is the first time he have been sober for a length of time in........I don't know how many years. He has been sober for about almost 40 days. So very glad that he is! A lot of things are different, but of course not perfect.
I made him leave the house a week before he went into detox. There was the drinking, but also he was texting other girls and looking at porn, and signing up to dating sites.
We agreed that I could check his phone when I felt I needed to as one of my boundaries. So I have done that, and guess what he is still looking at porn, and he told me he was not doing that any longer.
So question, If he knows that I am looking at his phone, why would he still be looking? I don't understand that!!!!
Anyway, obviously I don't know what to do about it, and I am frustrated.
On a good note, He is sober! And that does make things better.
Sorry did not mean to go into all of that. Just wanted to introduce myself.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks
I made him leave the house a week before he went into detox. There was the drinking, but also he was texting other girls and looking at porn, and signing up to dating sites.
We agreed that I could check his phone when I felt I needed to as one of my boundaries. So I have done that, and guess what he is still looking at porn, and he told me he was not doing that any longer.
So question, If he knows that I am looking at his phone, why would he still be looking? I don't understand that!!!!
Anyway, obviously I don't know what to do about it, and I am frustrated.
On a good note, He is sober! And that does make things better.
Sorry did not mean to go into all of that. Just wanted to introduce myself.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Early sobriety is an action time and is usually not easy so sometimes we settle back into the same old, same old and just don’t drink until………………
I strongly suggest you join in the Friends and Families forum on this site. Look into the FORUMS ENTRY AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE.
Another suggestion is to attend Al Anon meetings in your area, super helpful though you may disagree with some of their suggestions, they have helped many for many years.
BE WELL
Early sobriety is an action time and is usually not easy so sometimes we settle back into the same old, same old and just don’t drink until………………
I strongly suggest you join in the Friends and Families forum on this site. Look into the FORUMS ENTRY AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE.
Another suggestion is to attend Al Anon meetings in your area, super helpful though you may disagree with some of their suggestions, they have helped many for many years.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Hi and welcome!
By no mean I want to minimize the issue, but as a recovering man.
Early recovery can be a very stressful time. The "release" could be a way for him to relax and calm himself down. I don't think forming a new addiction with porn is healthy as well. So it's a question of balance and communication. Perhaps talking to him about what's going on physically and mentally can help you both.
There is a friends and family section that is really useful to get input from your side of things.
Best wishes ;-)
By no mean I want to minimize the issue, but as a recovering man.
Early recovery can be a very stressful time. The "release" could be a way for him to relax and calm himself down. I don't think forming a new addiction with porn is healthy as well. So it's a question of balance and communication. Perhaps talking to him about what's going on physically and mentally can help you both.
There is a friends and family section that is really useful to get input from your side of things.
Best wishes ;-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm not offering any excuses here.... but I do think that if you're choosing to remain with your husband through recovery - and if he is truly committed to it....
then you're going to need extraordinary patience and you're going to need support for yourself as you will be challenged by confusing behaviors, mixed messages, emotional ups and downs.
In any case, you've come across a good place to learn about the challenges of addiction and to get understanding support.
Welcome
then you're going to need extraordinary patience and you're going to need support for yourself as you will be challenged by confusing behaviors, mixed messages, emotional ups and downs.
In any case, you've come across a good place to learn about the challenges of addiction and to get understanding support.
Welcome
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