Toxic People....
Toxic People....
Last edited by knowthetriggers; 12-22-2016 at 08:53 AM.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Read an interesting article on this issue.
A psychologist recommended giving the people "permission " to be who they are, who they like to be and how they need to be.
Total disarmament of the tactics.
turns it completely around on them...... Spot lights on their behaviour, not your response and or resistance.
The article went on to say that in 9/10 cases, the offender recognised the behavior as being instigated by them, their personality flaws etc and gave up the behavior.
I'm going to give this a try and see what happens.
A psychologist recommended giving the people "permission " to be who they are, who they like to be and how they need to be.
Total disarmament of the tactics.
turns it completely around on them...... Spot lights on their behaviour, not your response and or resistance.
The article went on to say that in 9/10 cases, the offender recognised the behavior as being instigated by them, their personality flaws etc and gave up the behavior.
I'm going to give this a try and see what happens.
I've known some people who are charming and fun to be with but who you couldn't trust with anything important.
My approach now is to enjoy the charm but have zero expectations. But I agree that it's best to avoid people who upset you or put you on the defensive. Avoid can include keeping everything at a superficial level.
My approach now is to enjoy the charm but have zero expectations. But I agree that it's best to avoid people who upset you or put you on the defensive. Avoid can include keeping everything at a superficial level.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Thank you for this. It's difficult to let go of the expectations that you're supposed to keep certain people in your life regardless of how they treat you. Toxic people are toxic people. Period.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ontario
Posts: 13
Thank you knowthetriggers. After being in their lives for 24 years I am no longer welcome... My husband has been sober 7 1/2 months and they "blame" me for changing him.... Long storey his choice complete surprise to me he wanted sobriety. I have helped raise sd child and can no longer be apart of her life either. That being said the good days are outweighing the sad ones. Things will work out the way they should.....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)