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Sober Alcoholic vs Dry Drunks

Old 03-05-2015, 12:34 PM
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Sober Alcoholic vs Dry Drunks

Anyone know what the difference is between Sober Alcoholics and Dry Drunks - is it the same just worded differently or is there a meaning of both.

DO you know??
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Old 03-05-2015, 12:37 PM
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Heh Jen,

A dry drunk is someone sober but not using any tools to stay that way. Not changing any of their behaviors that got them there in the first place.

A sober alcoholic is one who is availing himself of all the modalities he can to Live a good sober life full of promise. Working the steps and changing the way he lives.
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Old 03-05-2015, 12:41 PM
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To me, a sober alcoholic, one who's active in his or her recovery, implies some level of contentment in the person who is sober. Happy, maybe, certainly not miserable. Someone learning to cope with life without resorting to alcohol.

Dry drunk has a negative connotation, describing a person who is abstaining from alcohol, but who's alcoholism goes untreated. Someone who doesn't drink, but fails to cope with life in a truly healthy manner.
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:00 PM
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Hi.
The “definition” I got years ago is a sober acts and reacts to life in a healthy manner mentally and emotionally.

A dry drunk is a person though not drinking acts in the same situation as if they were still drinking.

Even after a lot of sober years I have occasion to act like a dry drunk, I feel it’s some sort of a temporary chemical change. It might happen after a short rest period and I’ll awaken like a mean bear and wonder where the heck did that come from as the period before resting things seemed fine.

BE WELL
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:59 PM
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There really is no true definition of either, but the term "Dry Drunk" is sometimes used in a negative light to describe someone who may not be drinking but still has some of the problems they had when they were drinking. I personally find it offensive in any form and don't think it is appropriate to be used in any language of recovery.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:18 PM
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I agree with Scott. "Dry drunk" is a mean-spirited, judgmental, hurtful label used to diminish someone.

I don't like the term at all, and will not use it. I think it says more about the person who utters it.

It reeks of intolerance and ego.
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Old 03-05-2015, 03:04 PM
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'Dry Drunk', in my experience, is something that some AA members use as a pejorative.

for example - i am 10 months sober. for the first 8 months i attended regular meetings and was therefore a Sober Alcoholic. i haven't been to AA very often lately. according to some, i am now a Dry Drunk.

please understand that my stance is not anti-AA. AA saved my life and i work my own programme daily. the Dry Drunk theory is by no means the party line - but it does sometimes get brought up.
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Old 03-05-2015, 03:21 PM
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Dry drunk is a very pejorative term and one that I very seldom use. I think it has its place only when used to describe the most irritable angry and hurtful individuals. Short of that, use the term in itself can be hurtful.
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Old 03-05-2015, 03:23 PM
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I'm not a fan of the term "dry drunk" either. I've noticed that it is commonly used within the rooms of AA, and - unfortunately - is often used to refer to someone who is no longer attending AA, but is still sober. When it is used this way, it reflects to me a bias against other methods of sobriety. There are plenty of people on this site who made a powerful personal decision not to drink, and have never had a drink since that moment. While they may not belong to any groups or go to therapy, this doesn't mean that they aren't living lives of personal growth or that their sobriety is comprimised in any way.

I've met plenty of folks who do attend meetings, work a program, go to therapy, etc., but who still get high from anger, respond to situations in limited ways, lie, abuse, take advantage of, etc. You couldn't accuse them of being "dry drunks" because they are "in recovery."

I believe that everyone has the capacity to change behaviors, whether sober or drinking, but that choosing sobriety opens doors to possibility of really shifting the way we respond to things. Conversely, there are stubborn, cranky, and abusive people out there who will likely stay that way whether they get sober or use recovery resources...
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Old 03-05-2015, 05:33 PM
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No difference. Dry drunk is a term used by judgmental people.
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Old 03-05-2015, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Jen73 View Post
Anyone know what the difference is between Sober Alcoholics and Dry Drunks - is it the same just worded differently or is there a meaning of both.

DO you know??
There is no such thing as a dry drunk. It is not a medical or physiological condition, it's a fictitious condition.
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Old 03-05-2015, 07:07 PM
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Good thread and some thoughtful replies.
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Old 03-05-2015, 07:59 PM
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I personally don't believe in dry drunks. I have known too many non alcoholics who have the characteristics.
I think that some people are just mean and miserable to the extent that they have problem living with themselves too and hide in the bottle. Once they sober up, unless they work on themselves, they will still be miserable schmucks.

Now one thing I believe is that some people who white knuckle it can be very difficult to be around. We see sometimes posts on SR of people who have obviously not accepted that they cannot drink safely again and talking about being jealous of their partner or friends who can drink normally or who blame their drinking on others etc. Generally speaking though, those are newcomers and once they start accepting that it is what it is and also start relaxing their attitude improves a lot.
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Old 03-06-2015, 01:09 AM
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I am indifferent to the term "dry drunk" but I would never choose to call someone that. What it means to me is that it's someone who is exhibiting the behavior of untreated alcoholism without drinking. If someone were to tell me I was in a "dry drunk" I wouldn't be happy, but at the same time I would take it as a warning signal that I might have become lax with my recovery and could be heading for a relapse. A lot of times other people can see that negative change in us without us seeing it ourselves.

It's not a flattering term but I just translate it in my own head to what it means to me.
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