seasaw

Just got back! I realized it was in twenty minutes and I still had my slippers on and I have a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for a long weekend - but I thought 'what's an hour of my life' and I propelled myself out of the house.

Al-Anon is different from Coda (obviously) and I've only been to one meeting so I don't feel like I can describe the differences between the two... The first steps are very similar so I'm glad that I am learning about them at the same time.

There were only five people at the meeting and three of them have been working the program for 15+ years. The meeting was about Step One - because there was a newbie there - and hearing everyone's stories about what brought them to Al-Anon, and what the start of the process was like for them, was very validating and interesting. I also made a friend I think, a woman my age with a lot of similar background. (some really surprising similarities!! is it a bad idea to become friends that fast after a meeting? we have so many random things in common....we talked for half an hour and swapped numbers after the meeting... is that unusual??)

I plan to try different meetings as the meeting leader was, while welcoming, a little triggering for me. Over all, I'm really very glad I went. Hope, optimism, seeing a way out of a dark place, were things I thought I was way past experiencing... hearing that you're not alone is really meaningful. So this is another "if you haven't done it yet, DO it!' post from Seasaw.

INgal

Seasaw, I went to my first AlAnon meeting a few months ago. There was a total of two people-me and the facilitator!! It was so awkward! Just found one with about 12 people..much better. Keep looking and hang in there!

SeriousKarma

Good for you Seasaw. I'm glad it went well.

It's not a bad idea to try out other meetings, but keep in mind that person may not always be the facilitator of that particular meeting. My meetings always rotate who chairs. In fact, there are often a lot of different people attending from week to week.

auroraxborealis

I probably would have felt guilty that there were only two of us and stayed because I felt like it was my job to help the facilitator by being there!

Hi, my name is "Aurora" and I'm a co-dependant.

schnappi99

My 1st meeting it was just me an the group's lead- usually she hangs out with the AA group since its just her there most of the time. It was good in the sense we could talk directly about newbie stuff but it was pretty clear to me I needed a bigger group. My 2nd meeting was a different day, the group averages 10 or 12 or so... there were a couple of old-timers and another newb (8 months in or so), and I'm forever grateful for the old-timers' message of hope and the other newb's experience that change does happen.

I'm just over a year in now.. didn't really connect with anyone for most of the 1st year then felt a lot in common w/ another newb just coming in so we do a lot of program chat now- very helpful.

I keep being amazed and a little annoyed over how blind and just clueless I've been about my own emotional life for so long.. 30-odd years of ignorant habit to sift through and it truly is one day at a time staying out of those old ruts, or getting back out of them again. Sure feels better than before though. Tell you what though, for me, feelings aren't facts is where its at.. letting go fo the restless/irritable/discontent takes a lot of focus its like swimming upstream for me. I'd be happy to have those character defects or anything else that gets in the way removed, don't want anything between me and peace of mind ever again.