Newbie here, day 3 of recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 14
Newbie here, day 3 of recovery
G'day everyone,
I'm on day three of recovery, so far so good.
To give you a little bit of history, I'm 30 years old, I've pretty much always known that I drank way more than everyone else and would always over do it.
The last 2.5 years (after about 9 years of drinking every night) escalated to drinking in the morning, drinking during lunch and basically any chance I could, including at work - just to fight off alcohol withdrawal.
I've been hospitalised 30 times for Alcohol withdrawal / dependence, often I've lost my mind completely during a black out and gone suicidal. Waking up in the back of a police car covered in my own blood not knowing what's going on.
This is attempt number 4 for me, attempt one was a home detox using diazepam, of which I ended up abusing and getting addicted to. I quit that thankfully.
Attempt number two was in hospital, I was in there for 5 days, got out and lasted 7 days without drinking.
Number three was in a detox centre. 7 days inside and two weeks outside I was alcohol free. Failed with the typical friend coming around offering a beer, that one beer turned into a week of drinking.
So this is number 4. This one has to be it, I know I need to get rid of any alcoholic friends and associates out of my life, the ones that tempt you daily to have a drink and also fix the underlying issue of why I was drinking, anxiety.
I'm doing it without Benzo's for the simple fact that I've been addicted, I'm already past the night sweat / confusion stage, my memory is a bit scratchy still and stomach cramps are annoying. I've had a seizure in the past, however given that I'm on day 3 I suspect I'm out of that danger zone already.
Any helpful advice would be awesome gals and guys!
I'm on day three of recovery, so far so good.
To give you a little bit of history, I'm 30 years old, I've pretty much always known that I drank way more than everyone else and would always over do it.
The last 2.5 years (after about 9 years of drinking every night) escalated to drinking in the morning, drinking during lunch and basically any chance I could, including at work - just to fight off alcohol withdrawal.
I've been hospitalised 30 times for Alcohol withdrawal / dependence, often I've lost my mind completely during a black out and gone suicidal. Waking up in the back of a police car covered in my own blood not knowing what's going on.
This is attempt number 4 for me, attempt one was a home detox using diazepam, of which I ended up abusing and getting addicted to. I quit that thankfully.
Attempt number two was in hospital, I was in there for 5 days, got out and lasted 7 days without drinking.
Number three was in a detox centre. 7 days inside and two weeks outside I was alcohol free. Failed with the typical friend coming around offering a beer, that one beer turned into a week of drinking.
So this is number 4. This one has to be it, I know I need to get rid of any alcoholic friends and associates out of my life, the ones that tempt you daily to have a drink and also fix the underlying issue of why I was drinking, anxiety.
I'm doing it without Benzo's for the simple fact that I've been addicted, I'm already past the night sweat / confusion stage, my memory is a bit scratchy still and stomach cramps are annoying. I've had a seizure in the past, however given that I'm on day 3 I suspect I'm out of that danger zone already.
Any helpful advice would be awesome gals and guys!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Welcome! Try reading "AVRT Explained" here:Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information. It really helped me with the "WTF" and allowed me to move forward in sobriety. Best wishes on a great rest-of-your-life! I took a lot of supplements (vits. and mins. depleted by alcohol) in the beginning and am sure it helped--am actually back on a few at almost 9 months.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Nathantas, you will find great information on this site. Its great that you want to quit. From my perspective, with 30 trips to the hospital under your belt, you may need to quit. The great thing is you can leave it all behind you and this site will help you accomplish that. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 18
Your situation sounds very similar to mine! Hang in there though, you are certainly past the worst of it... My saving grace was that I do not have quite the extensive history of drinking that you do. That said, I've done my fair share of damage (mainly to myself, minus the emotional trauma on others). I'm however curious... did you taper at all? My last drink was about 37 hours ago, but I started the recovery process 4 days ago; went from 20+ drinks Saturday to 7 the next, to 4 the day after (in lots of 2 spaced out by 12 hours). I was very worried about seizures as well so this is why I did this (as before I used prescribed medication to get through).
Regardless, I do think I understand what it is you went through; withdrawal without the help of medication was perhaps the most mentally challenging thing I've ever had to do. It literally almost broke me. Now that you've had to go through this regrettable process perhaps like me you feel as if you now have the strength to make the next step. After all in my opinion if you can do a cold turkey detox with your history, you are at an advantage to those who never did drink (if you can sustain sobriety) as most individuals would not be able to deal with what I went through and you did I suspect.
Regardless, I do think I understand what it is you went through; withdrawal without the help of medication was perhaps the most mentally challenging thing I've ever had to do. It literally almost broke me. Now that you've had to go through this regrettable process perhaps like me you feel as if you now have the strength to make the next step. After all in my opinion if you can do a cold turkey detox with your history, you are at an advantage to those who never did drink (if you can sustain sobriety) as most individuals would not be able to deal with what I went through and you did I suspect.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Congratulations on Day 3 my friend, it sounds to me like you've had a harrowing time.
Remember that where you have been in your life has nothing to do with where you can go.
Make this the time to change, do it now, you'll never have to go through it again. You did the right thing joining this site, tonnes of support here.
Remember that where you have been in your life has nothing to do with where you can go.
Make this the time to change, do it now, you'll never have to go through it again. You did the right thing joining this site, tonnes of support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 14
Thanks everyone for the support, just knowing that there's a whole forum full of knowledge and experienced people I can refer to when I feel like I'm about to slip is such a great feeling.
I'm now on day 9 of sobriety !!!
To say the least, this has been pretty hard, and I'm constantly thinking about drinking, however I've been fighting off those thoughts just by telling myself where I'll end up if I do pick up even one drink.
ShaneWhite, yes I did taper down with beer, I also had 10mg of diazepam hidden, I ended up using that on the first day.
Wow, 9 days... Feels like so long ago already.
Thanks again for the welcome, I'll be browsing around and returning updating on my progress as I go, mostly to help stay away from the A-hole drug, potentially I might be able to offer some help and assistance to anyone in a similar situation.
I'm now on day 9 of sobriety !!!
To say the least, this has been pretty hard, and I'm constantly thinking about drinking, however I've been fighting off those thoughts just by telling myself where I'll end up if I do pick up even one drink.
ShaneWhite, yes I did taper down with beer, I also had 10mg of diazepam hidden, I ended up using that on the first day.
Wow, 9 days... Feels like so long ago already.
Thanks again for the welcome, I'll be browsing around and returning updating on my progress as I go, mostly to help stay away from the A-hole drug, potentially I might be able to offer some help and assistance to anyone in a similar situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 14
Had a friend call, "What's happening, nobody has seen you in almost two weeks!", to which I reply "I'm staying sober, haven't had a drink in nine days.", to which he replies: "Oh well, I'm going to go buy a few bottles of vodka, come round for a drink".
F%CKing ASSHAT. Definitely not a real friend.
Grrr, the AV has started churning round and thoughts of just walking 30 seconds down to the bottleshop at the end of my street has started.
The only thing keeping me going is knowing what will happen if I get that 6, that six will turn into a month of drinking, which may just kill me.
F%CKing ASSHAT. Definitely not a real friend.
Grrr, the AV has started churning round and thoughts of just walking 30 seconds down to the bottleshop at the end of my street has started.
The only thing keeping me going is knowing what will happen if I get that 6, that six will turn into a month of drinking, which may just kill me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
Posts: 14
So walking back from doing some shopping, edging closer and closer to my house, telling myself "No, no no Nathan, don't do it, don't do it"... That voice that says, go on why not, found myself in a bottle shop...
Going to have to reset my signature back to day 0. So disappointed in myself... Damn it.
Going to have to reset my signature back to day 0. So disappointed in myself... Damn it.
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