Coda roll call!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
We don't have any in my area, and after reading this excerpt, I'd like to check it out:
“I understand addiction now. I never did before, you know. How could a man (or a woman) do something so self-destructive, knowing that they’re hurting not only themselves, but the people they love? It seemed that it would be so incredibly easy for them to just not take that next drink. Just stop. It’s so simple, really. But as so often happens with me, my arrogance kept me from seeing the truth of the matter.
I see it now though.
Every day, I tell myself it will be the last. Every night, as I’m falling asleep in his bed, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll book a flight to Paris, or Hawaii, or maybe New York. It doesn’t matter where I go, as long as it’s not here. I need to get away from Phoenix—away from him—before this goes even one step further.
And then he touches me again, and my convictions disappear like smoke in the wind.
This cannot end well. That’s the crux of the matter, Sweets. I’ve been down this road before—you know I have—and there’s only heartache at the end. There’s no happy ending waiting for me like there was for you and Matt. If I stay here with him, I will become restless and angry. It’s happening already, and I cannot stop it. I’m becoming bitter and terribly resentful. Before long, I will be intolerable, and eventually, he’ll leave me. But if I do what I have to do, what my very nature compels me to do, and move on, the end is no better. One way or another, he’ll be gone. Is it not wiser to end it now, Sweets, before it gets to that point? Is it not better to accept that this happiness I have is destined to self-destruct?
Tomorrow I will leave. Tomorrow I will stop delaying the inevitable. Tomorrow I will quit lying to myself, and to him.
Tomorrow.
What about today, you ask? Today it’s already too late. He’ll be home soon, and I have dinner on the stove, and wine chilling in the fridge. And he will smile at me when he comes through the door, and I will pretend like this fragile, dangerous thing we have created between us can last forever.
Just one last time, Sweets. Just one last fix. That’s all I need.
And that is why I now understand addiction.”
― Marie Sexton, Strawberries for Dessert
Seriously - it just hit it out of the park for me.
“I understand addiction now. I never did before, you know. How could a man (or a woman) do something so self-destructive, knowing that they’re hurting not only themselves, but the people they love? It seemed that it would be so incredibly easy for them to just not take that next drink. Just stop. It’s so simple, really. But as so often happens with me, my arrogance kept me from seeing the truth of the matter.
I see it now though.
Every day, I tell myself it will be the last. Every night, as I’m falling asleep in his bed, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll book a flight to Paris, or Hawaii, or maybe New York. It doesn’t matter where I go, as long as it’s not here. I need to get away from Phoenix—away from him—before this goes even one step further.
And then he touches me again, and my convictions disappear like smoke in the wind.
This cannot end well. That’s the crux of the matter, Sweets. I’ve been down this road before—you know I have—and there’s only heartache at the end. There’s no happy ending waiting for me like there was for you and Matt. If I stay here with him, I will become restless and angry. It’s happening already, and I cannot stop it. I’m becoming bitter and terribly resentful. Before long, I will be intolerable, and eventually, he’ll leave me. But if I do what I have to do, what my very nature compels me to do, and move on, the end is no better. One way or another, he’ll be gone. Is it not wiser to end it now, Sweets, before it gets to that point? Is it not better to accept that this happiness I have is destined to self-destruct?
Tomorrow I will leave. Tomorrow I will stop delaying the inevitable. Tomorrow I will quit lying to myself, and to him.
Tomorrow.
What about today, you ask? Today it’s already too late. He’ll be home soon, and I have dinner on the stove, and wine chilling in the fridge. And he will smile at me when he comes through the door, and I will pretend like this fragile, dangerous thing we have created between us can last forever.
Just one last time, Sweets. Just one last fix. That’s all I need.
And that is why I now understand addiction.”
― Marie Sexton, Strawberries for Dessert
Seriously - it just hit it out of the park for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
Pink - that is too bad! Can i suggest for you - and everyone! - the book I'm reading,
http://www.amazon.com/Codependents-G.../dp/0671762273
It has been an ENORMOUS help to me in terms of understanding CODA, learning self love, detaching from the emotions and reactions of others, etc.
We should add that to the book list too maybe?
http://www.amazon.com/Codependents-G.../dp/0671762273
It has been an ENORMOUS help to me in terms of understanding CODA, learning self love, detaching from the emotions and reactions of others, etc.
We should add that to the book list too maybe?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
I am so tech savvy.
Here's an excerpt from that book - from the chapter about Step One.
Coda Step One MelBea Photos by old***** | Photobucket
Let me know if it doesn't work!
Here's an excerpt from that book - from the chapter about Step One.
Coda Step One MelBea Photos by old***** | Photobucket
Let me know if it doesn't work!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
I've been going to CODA meetings since June of last year and I LOVE them. I just chaired a meeting last night.
I used to go to Al-anon but never felt it was quite a perfect fit for what I was dealing with in my life. With CODA, though, I knew I was in the right place the minute I walked in the door. My life has changed so much for the better than I can't even believe it sometimes.
I am in the middle of a Step Study right now, finishing up with 4 and heading to 5. It won't be easy but I am looking forward to see how healthy I can get and see how much better my life can be.
Maybe I am speaking from the pink cloud of a new convert but I really like where CODA is taking me
I used to go to Al-anon but never felt it was quite a perfect fit for what I was dealing with in my life. With CODA, though, I knew I was in the right place the minute I walked in the door. My life has changed so much for the better than I can't even believe it sometimes.
I am in the middle of a Step Study right now, finishing up with 4 and heading to 5. It won't be easy but I am looking forward to see how healthy I can get and see how much better my life can be.
Maybe I am speaking from the pink cloud of a new convert but I really like where CODA is taking me
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