drinkingdinos

Feeling extremely discouraged lately and really just wishing I had never picked up that first drink all those months back. Been sober about a month now and my bad days far out number my good days. I've had 2 good days that I can remember in the past 6 weeks. It feels so hopeless, like my body will never right itself. Why did I ever start drinking?! This hell is unbearable. It feels like my body has given up on me & maybe I should give up on it too. Sorry to be so dramatic, I'm sure the feelings will pass, but for now I feel helpless and hopeless. I just needed to get that out there.

Cameron57

Firstly, amazing job on a month of soberity. You should be very proud of yourself.

DONT GIVE UP! (Sorry for shouting). If you feel bad now, imagine how much worse you will feel when you take that first sip of a drink. You will probably feel disappointed with yourself, right now you have nothing to feel disappointed about (on the contrary) so by giving up, you're just going to adding to the negativity going on in your life. Chin up, be proud and soldier on.

You can do it.

Jupiters

the feeling will pass, you are right on that. As long as you don't drink. Drinking keeps us in the discouragement, the disappointment, the depression. You would be surprised at how resilient the body is once you give it some good time without alcohol. Mind, body and soul.

Gonnachange

Congratulations on the month.

Treerat66

Well done on the month

Mountainmanbob

What helps many to stay sober is remembering back in time to how awful it was in the beginning when we sobered up.

I'm 7 years sober and just shared about this very same thing this morning in an AA meeting.
I don't ever want to forget those terrible first days and months.

Mountainmanbob

ForeverAlways

Please don't give up on yourself. I lost my husband a year ago to this horrible disease and the pain is still very raw. Please stay with recovery don't let it take you from your loved ones.

Thepatman

Glad you posted. Keep your chin up, I have no doubt things will get better and that you will succeed. 30 days is awesome

Dee74

Please don't get discouraged

If like me you drank for years, it's going to take a few weeks to feel ok again...but it is just a few weeks.

what else are you doing for your recovery than just not drinking?

D

Soberwolf

Congrats on the month...

You realised that by drinking you feel this crap by taking new actions you can additionally feel better i done lots of stuff in the beginning to help even on the days i didnt want to i pushed for my sobriety

Even today when i have a bad day i recognise it & take action

for me sobriety is a light and if we dont work at it that light darkens

drinkingdinos

Nothing at the moment. I've been to a few aa meetings in my area, but I felt really out of place by being a young female. I'm still struggling to admit that I have a legitimate problem with alcohol too. I might go back after I start to feel better physically, I might not. Most days I feel too sick to leave the house yet and I think I've developed a fair amount of social anxiety. I guess I'm sort of playing with fire. I feel like drinking again is inevitable.

drinkingdinos

I don't feel I have the energy to "take action" at the moment. Besides I don't even know what that would look like in my life.

ShaneWhite

Congratulations on the month! You seem to be in a very similar situation as I just a month or two ago... I had 4 weeks sober and yet I still did not feel right, so I thought lets see if it really was the alcohol that was the problem or was it something else? Fast forward to now it was and always will be the booze.

It's a truly fascinating substance really, nothing and I mean nothing is quite like it. It seems to do nothing one day, yet the next it'll have you on the floor in severe mental anguish.

Accept you have an issue, and steer clear of the substance; you do not want to experience the hell I am going through now; I lived exactly where you are now and I gave it all up to fuel my curiosity.

You of course, have the advantage of knowledge. You realize exactly what is happening to you, and while that might not seem like much It is simply shocking how long it takes some to notice what it is they are dealing with.

Alcohol is 95% withdrawal.... even those who use it in extreme moderation, are arguably receiving 0 benefits.

Notimetoloose

drinkingdinos..Congratulations on your sobriety...I was the same, 6 weeks in and feeling like 'What have I done to myself', I am never going to feel okay.
..but then bit by bit I started to feel better and them slowly I was having more good days than bad days...I think getting active in helping heal my self helped as well ....forcing myself to eat well and do exercise...

mns1

Hey drinkingdinos, and well done on one month!

May I ask what made those two good days good? What were you experiencing? What can you do to experience that again?

Sometimes we need to push forward regardless of our energy level. I am not going to try and tell you that that is easy, but you need to push yourself and believe that your efforts will pay off. Things are bound to begin working in your favor as long as you don't give in. I know that sounds sentimental and sugarcoated, but this attitude has never let me down.

Keep your head up!

DrunkTx

DD- not sure if you ever watched Forrest Gump, but there is one scene that always hits home for me. When he picks up, walks out of his house and runs to the end of the driveway, then across town, then across the state, etc. For me, it symbolized the unsettled mind, the life imbalance, the confusion. He just had to run in a straight line, with all those anchors attached to him. He just wouldn't stop until all those anchors either towed in line, or released him. My suggestion: get on your walking shoes and /or running shoes and just head out in a straight line (follow the road curves of course). My guess is you won't be gone for three years, but maybe three hours? Maybe two? Don't underestimate the power it will have to clear your mind / right your mind.

least

Would it help to talk to someone about these feelings of hopelessness? I mean, like to a counselor? I saw a counselor for several years when I was getting sober and it really helped to have someone to talk to and give me feedback.

You're still early in recovery. It takes time for our body and brain to heal and get back to normal functioning. Give yourself time, good food and exercise, and rest.

drinkingdinos

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging replies.

I've been trying to do what I can. Proper nutrition and hydration, sleep hygiene, and I'll be sure to add exercise into the mix when my body is ready. Its just not there yet. I'm really new at this..is there anything else I should be actively doing to make sure I don't revert to my old ways? I'm having a hard time grasping the forever concept, but I know I definitely want to make it 90 days. I'm hoping by then I'll see some serious improvements & won't have the desire to drink again.