the progressiveness of this disease has turned me into a monster!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
the progressiveness of this disease has turned me into a monster!
I'm not sure when the last time I posted on here was, but it's been a while. I have been drinking again now for quite some time. Last July I ended up in the hospital twice after a bad bout of drinking with mania and then depression.I did ok for a while again but lately I've been drinking a lot. It turned into a huge fiasco the other night, I have my whole entire family worried, I feel so ashamed. I used to be a very friendly drunk but now when I drink I get angry and scream and yell usually at my boyfriend who is typically with me when I drink. intern keen about with my sister 3 weeks ago turned into a fist fight!I have no choice but to stop this drinking for good, I need a lot of support because every time a week or so passes I think I'm going to be able to drink again responsibly. It's never going to happen!financial issues and related issues have really added to the stress in my life which in return has caused excessive drinking. Next tuesday I will be having money reconstruction did as I tore my acl completely apart, damaged my meniscus and MCL in a skiing accident.just thought I would check in and get back into trying to be a healthy person again and eliminating the alcohol from my life. Glad to be back!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 396
Welcome back TooMutch.
I find myself in a similar position financially. Paranoid tbh about losing everything. I am still in a dangerous zone. I find I cannot go it alone and decided last week to try AA again. It was a good meeting for me, and I have decided as well as SR, AA is my only hope. I'm not trying to sell this to you, But could be worth giving this or something similar a try.
I wish you well.
I find myself in a similar position financially. Paranoid tbh about losing everything. I am still in a dangerous zone. I find I cannot go it alone and decided last week to try AA again. It was a good meeting for me, and I have decided as well as SR, AA is my only hope. I'm not trying to sell this to you, But could be worth giving this or something similar a try.
I wish you well.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Toomutch 
I'm not sure when the last time I posted on here was, but it's been a while.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I would like to find another recovery group other than AAA. I've done as in the past and its just not for me.these posts probably aren't making a lot of sense I cannot correct my spelling errors. Obviously I meant AA.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome back! Many of us got sober right here at SR - posting daily, listening and responding to others, etc. I'd recommend giving it a try and sticking around for a while and checking out all the threads. We do a "weekenders thread" that will appear on Thursday, it's meant to help out newcomers and veterans alike stay sober for the weekend. It's active, lively, and a lot of fun!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Originally Posted by Toomutch
I would like to find another recovery group other than AAA.
Just kidding... welcome back to SR
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Toomutch
It's never going to happen!financial issues and related issues have really added to the stress in my life which in return has caused excessive drinking.
I was in the same situation as you for many years - I knew drinking was bad for me but i still kept doing it. I hoped and hoped that if i cut back, or quit for a while, i'd be able to control it again some day. But it never happens - and as you are finding it gets worse. The key for me was accepting the fact that I cannot ever drink again wihout negative consequences. There is no pill I can take, no treatment I can follow, no book I can read that will ever allow me to drink responsibly again - it simply IS. Once you can accept that you can begin to work on living your life, rather than fighting a battle you will never win.
Perhaps joining one of the daily or monthly threads here would be of help to get started?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
Toomuch, Sorry you are having such a tough time. It surely is not easy to get sober and stay sober. If AA is not for you, give AVRT a try. Just google it and see what it is all about. I'm using AVRT...but also go to a couple AA meetings for that face to face reinforcement. I think this is working for me anyway. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 285
Hey Toomuch...I totally understand when you say that AA isn't for you. I went to over 90 meetings in 90 days while in rehab and it just didn't do anything for me. I just felt like I didn't fit in with most groups.
Have you seen a therapist about your drinking? Maybe they could help you out instead of AA.
Have you seen a therapist about your drinking? Maybe they could help you out instead of AA.
I hope you can stop drinking for good this time. You had five years once, I hope you can achieve it again. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I understand how finances can be stressful. I'm at 57 days or so and had to refinance my house to kill the fires I created drinking.
I have 2 solid years of sacrifice to dig out. But without drinking, I have a fighting chance. So can you, just make a plan for both sobriety and finances and stick to it, be stubborn about it.
I have 2 solid years of sacrifice to dig out. But without drinking, I have a fighting chance. So can you, just make a plan for both sobriety and finances and stick to it, be stubborn about it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
((((toomutch))))
I'm glad to see you! I know you can get the sobriety back, you did before and did well! Alcoholism is progressive, it always gets worse. I have seven years now!
Be kind to yourself. See your doctor and get your meds straightened out, you'll feel better soon. I know you're a lovely and loving person!
Love from Lenina
I'm glad to see you! I know you can get the sobriety back, you did before and did well! Alcoholism is progressive, it always gets worse. I have seven years now!
Be kind to yourself. See your doctor and get your meds straightened out, you'll feel better soon. I know you're a lovely and loving person!
Love from Lenina
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome back Toomutch 
while I understand you may have misgivings about AA, things seem a littler out of control in your life - you need to do something.
Have you considered other meeting based options like SMART Recovery or LifeRing?
D
while I understand you may have misgivings about AA, things seem a littler out of control in your life - you need to do something.
Have you considered other meeting based options like SMART Recovery or LifeRing?
D
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