charis78

Its been six months since he abandoned me at hospital. He is doing just fine online dating, probably never gave anything another thought.

When do I get over it? When does my anger go away. It doesn't feel normal to be this angry still six months in.

Ive tried everything _ nature walks, travwllimg, hanging around positive people, reading, some therapy's etc but nor a day goes by where I'm not feeling anger/ pain. Maybe withdrawing from oxy ismpart of it.

shil2587

6 months isn't really that long. I read somewhere that it can take 6 months for every year together to get over an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes you just need to feel it. Hugs.

FeelingGreat

Hi Charis, after the way he treated you, 6 months is no time. I want to encourage you by saying that if you stick to your program you will gradually come out of this. If you think back to when it happened, I'm sure you'll see that you are getting better, even though not as quickly as you'd like.
Give it more time, keep working at your positive lifestyle, and if after a year you're still bothered by intrusive thoughts consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions.

charis78

Thank you for making me feel a little more normal. I hate feeling like this every day. I t

knowthetriggers

For me - the anger stopped when I started to learn how to forgive myself. It was not overnight, but it did happen.

((Hugs))

Duckygirl1

My xabf dumped me six months ago and I have days when I'm fine and days when I want to punch him, his sponsor and his counselor in the face. You're normal. (((( hugs))))

Butterfly

Be gentle with yourself, 6 months is very short in recovery. I'm out almost a year and I'm still struggling, days of hurt and sadness and recently the anger has started. ((((((Hugs)))))) your doing great, one day at a time.

Shil please don't say 6 months for every year that means it will take me 9 years to get over it!!!!

eyeoftheholder

Hi Charis
I sympathize with you
My ex AB abandoned me
Ive cried every day for weeks feels like Im having a breakdown
Im on medication
Its now all turning to anger and seeing him hurt in my mind
I realize now I was used and no emotional investment in me what so ever
The love was a lie
like a used oily rag
I built him up so much he thought he could do better than me and sleep around
He will realize no one fancies him
It was just me an empath and codie
The good news is Charis when you are over this that negative energy it will reverse itself and you will become empowered.
I focus on my ex AB almost 24 /7 and the only distractions are exciting adrenelin pumping movies / shopping for exciting vitamins lol and online dating and sleep

As soon as I wake that pig is on my mind
It will pass
The online dating is a good distraction for me
Though Id like to find a proper gentleman this time
not someone who has me addicted to them in an unnatural manner that I cannot escape
them unless they escape me
No more drunks for me
Im planning on building boundary walls so I dont invest all my emotional wellbeing in a man and making them my world ever again!
Good luck to you charis
It really helps being here on SR
What a great site <3

TJD912

My almost XAH had me in the same emotional spot. Boy was I angry. Angry I allowed it, angry I stayed, angry I didn't catch onto his manipulation, angry I had no idea that a recovering alcoholic would most likely relapse, angry I married him anyway. I had no idea the road ahead. But now, a little over a year after his affair stopped, the bouts with relapse and sobriety, over a year to digest it all, to stop feeling humiliated and angry and responsible for him...I'm only in the beginning stages of my own recovery and the anger has subsided...a little over a year later. We sold the house in Sept. and are divorcing. I would agree with Shil that each year you are with someone might take some months of recovery. I can see myself being happy again, and part of that has come from not being with him daily. He still tries to manipulate my emotions and blame me for his choices, but I just don't care anymore so I have less contact with him. Thank God we had a blended family and no kids together. Contact can be come nill anytime I want it to. I see what my life can be like. It's peaceful. The kids are peaceful. I can breathe. You'll get there, too. Take it a day at a time.

charis78

The stupid thing isall this time part of Mr expected him to come back and be the person I thought he was. Just starting to accept after last interaction that's never going to happen as he's made me out to be a horrible partner in his mind.

eyeoftheholder

Charis he,s probably reflecting his own misgivings on to you!
Im sure you,ve bent over backwards to be accomodating to him and then had it thrown in your face
Its what they do
Putting his own worthlessness on to you
Im sure when you met him you was a full whole person who got caught up in his circus
You cannot allow a man like that to be the one to give you emotional validation

you can and will find yourself
I feel your anger this is who Iam too right now my tears changed and I wanted to hurt him but thats just silly
The more we love them the more it hurts
I found reading Intermittant chicken really helped
<3

charis78

Its true I was an awesome fun person when we met. Now I'm blah

NYCDoglvr

You're withdrawing from oxy? If I read that right of course you're going to have strong emotions. But regarding anger, it helped me to see my own part in the misery I was going through. I picked him, and stayed far longer than I should have. Seeing that and taking responsibility for my part helped the anger dissipate.

charis78

Yeah oxy they gave me after surgery. Its tough to get off.

ghost99

Make your anger work for you not against you. Use it to improve yourself and change your life. Don't bury it or it will lead to depression.