Spacegoat

The past few nights again it's like there is a whirlwind of thoughts spinning around in my mind constantly.

When I try to examine them it's the same old crap that drove me to drink, only much worse and more clearly defined.

I've been trying to recite the serenity prayer but I forgot the words. I can look them up now. Does anyone have any suggestions.

Alynn

Try listening to something. Headphones in and tune the world out. A book, podcast, AA talk, itunes or YouTube for guided meditation and breathing techniques

Dee74

maybe something here can help Strat?

Relaxation Techniques | University of Maryland Medical Center

D

Axiom

"The Honest Guys" have a bunch of guided meditation on youtube. It has helped me a lot on the long nights.
Also hot tea and a good book, I would have to force myself to focus on reading for awhile but once I get it into a book it is a great distraction.

Spacegoat

Yep, on my second cup of tea here. Music is a go to. I can't concentrate on books anymore since I quit smoking weed. As for podcasts, lectures and the like… Used to listen to Alan Watts and Terence McKenna all the time and anything similar I could find. Then when I had heard everything by them I moved onto deep geopolitical conspiracy theories and the like, anything to keep myself distracted basically. Drinking and drugging non-stop, 'la la la' I could for days like that. Arguing points with randomers then online when drunk and angry 'cos I couldn't sleep. Anything to keep my mind occupied which seems a bit counter-intuitive now.

Spacegoat

Now that I'm clean and sober, OMG it's the same crap! It's all personal. I've narrowed it down a lot over the years, it's from my childhood and upbringing basically. Thats progress because it was subconcious for many years. I don't know what it means or how TF is affecting me now still, all I know is that it is. I have always relied on drink and drugs but can't do that anymore, I was acting out in a lot of ways and stuff. I first went to see a doctor in confidence when I was 17, well anyway he sent me on my merry way 'you are only a young fella what would be wrong with you' kinda thing (he was ok actually but). And this went on for years. I had to go loco before any of them (several) would take me seriously, and now they all take me too seriously as a result…

Spacegoat

So does anyone know what I'm talking about or what I could actually do about that? As this has been going on over half my life. I'm sober now so I'm not spiraling out of control, can't say I would be too comfortable talking to anyone about my deepest thoughts and feelings as, well I'm not and I have never been good at reaching out for help I am a man after all. I always tried to help people with similar but not good at helping myself. It's been hard enough just making them conscious on my own. I'l try some relaxations now and check out The Honest Guys but these 3 day distraction marathons just ain't what they used to be and I was never really enjoying them honestly. Right... Cheers.

strategery

Stratman, therapy may be beneficial to you. Learning to forgive myself as well as others has been critical to being sober. However, it does take time.

Additionally, these issues are in the past and cannot be changed. It does no good to dwell on them.

I hope you find peace from these issues.

Plure

When I was 2.5 months sober, I was having a horrible time sleeping until my doc gave me a sleep aid. Might check in with your doc about what you're dealing with. I think our brains sometimes need some "breathing room" to cognitively process things and not getting quality sleep really interferes with that.

Cowgirlie

Bach White chestnut remedy?

sugarbear1

I slow my brain down by thinking "What can I do about it (to change it) this second?" If I can't answer that, I try to put that thought away for a moment.

Listening to speaker talks helped me, today I listen to guided meditations.

Cameron57

Melatonin?

Anna

When I have a lot of trouble slowing my thoughts, I find that reading something that interest me a lot helps to slow down the flow of thoughts and distract me enough to help.

saoutchik

Hi Strat

Bit of a boring reply but physical exertion really does help

My job is mostly sedentary and if I don't do anything physical all day then the chances are that I'll have a bad nights sleep

Aellyce

I can only come up with two things that were already said on this thread, and also previously to you. Exercise and therapy. And both of them in some intensive form. You have resistance towards these things now, but I will confidently say that you might likely find substance in both of these that would draw you in.

Spacegoat

Therapy has been on my mind a lot. As for exercise, was getting big into until I drank that bottle of whiskey at xmas I need to get back into it. You are right I think my anxiety is slowly building up over the upcoming court date.

I've been sizing up maybe having a good drink for a bit of respite, not a great idea I know but I'd rather be dealing with a hangover for a bit at least thats all me and me only. See how the next few days go I guess.

Yeah I have a sheet of sleepers here for emegencys, I never think to take them though until its morning time. I'l check out those remedies that were mentioned. Strategery you are right about that.

I don't know why I'm putting so much thought into this 'Step 9 Making Amends' business lately when I am neither working the steps or in the program even.

I'm going to try meditation today in some form, either silent or breathing. Thanks for all the helpful responses

Soberwolf

Try this Stratman i have suffered this many a time and its really down to sleep hygiene

things like having a set time for going bed waking up first in the morning to help regulate a routine

Turning the lights off an hour an half hour before bed switching off the tv anything that will stimulate the brain will keep you awake

sometimes if your really struggling you can ask the Dr for help & combine that with some reading an hour or 2 before bed will really help i can almost guarentee that if you follow this advice

it takes discipline but soon enough the routine will happen and then its a case of managing it

i try to make sure im in bed before 12 im trying to get it down to 10-11pm and will eventually

im sympathetic as i know how tough it can be to get a routine going

Aellyce

Please don't give in to those temptations about drinking. You know that it won't help anything and will make things worse, because it may just add a dose of guilt to the current baggage you already carry, and it would be likely to reinstate your cravings for drinking more. It's really not worth a couple hours of chemically induced fake relaxation.

Okay I will probably not say this again because I may already sound like a broken record... but don't only think about that therapy thing. Find someone and start doing it, I think with the right person, you would enjoy it more than you might imagine now. You clearly like to talk about your issues and your history here and you seem to have a pattern of wanting to unload quite a lot once you start. I'm sure you also do this alone in your mind frequently. I wish I had started therapy at your age or earlier -- I can't even describe accurately how much more interesting and productive it is to do all that dissection together with someone else who has more expertise (and is more unbiased) than myself, in a perfectly safe and confidential setting. It's also a great way to focus and to release some of the excess mental energy and intensity, and there is always something new to learn and try. Sometimes I feel now (after nearly a year of being in therapy) that I'm a bit obsessed with it, but it's a much better and more productive obsession than drinking, drugs, or going crazy in my head and in isolation. You clearly have a ton of mental energy in you and probably part of the reason why you cannot sleep well is because it's not channeled properly. I also suffered with insomnia quite a lot when I was younger, and the solution was really to invest all that energy into worthwhile goals, including physical exertion.

Spacegoat

Cheers soberwolf. Yeah I read about that on the relaxation page. It's a battle/routine I am well familiar with also.

I decided this morning I am gonna slug this one out with the hope of getting an early night/morning hence a chance at a normal daily routine tomorrow. Now if I had a buck for every time I have employed that method.

I'm feeling quite spacey here, and not in a Kevin way. Hey haennie. Yeah the drinking idea kind of dissipated with the night which is interesting. True its not gonna help, did it for years and you are right I hate that fakeass buzz.

About the therapy aspect, yeah I am kind of trying to work myself into a normal enough routine to be able to possible seek it if that makes any sense. Also I can't really afford it right now, I'm behind bills as it is but I am weighing it up.

Aellyce

That is the typical nature of cravings for alcohol. They come and go. This is only one reason why it's important not to give in when the desire is on... it will certainly dissipate with a bit of time. I had horrible intense cravings in my first months, but they became less and less powerful with more and more time successfully riding them out.

On the sleep thing: if it's really serious and does not respond to natural relaxation approaches, maybe a visit to a doctor might be a good idea. There are sleep aids that are non-addictive and that you can take transiently as needed.

As for the cost of therapy, don't know what's available where you are, but where I live, there are training programs for therapists where they provide low cost or sliding scale treatments. Many more senior therapists also offer similar things according to individual need.