Where do I begin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 2
Where do I begin
I an a 36 year old guy from Ireland and I have a big problem with the Alcohol. I am single and don't have any dependents, I cant say I have much of a social life drinking or otherwise, basically my life is go to work, drink at home on my own in the evenings and repeat, at the weekends I just stay in all weekend drinking on my own watching TV, its not really a life. I drink because A. it comforts me and B. I'm bored. My drink of choice, red wine, I love the stuff, if I am out with friends it will be beer, I rarely do spirits, I don't really care for them, I drink around 2 bottles of wine a night, perhaps over a week a little less. Regards what I am like when I am drunk, because I have such a high tolerance I don't ever get to stage where I'm out of my mind, I am very mellow, I don't start fights , abuse people or black out. The reason I want to give up is because I am also overweight and with the drink comes the food, I could very much control the food without drinking because I love eating when I have wine, Obviously my health is a factor also, would appreciate any advice
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: nj
Posts: 37
I an a 36 year old guy from Ireland and I have a big problem with the Alcohol. I am single and don't have any dependents, I cant say I have much of a social life drinking or otherwise, basically my life is go to work, drink at home on my own in the evenings and repeat, at the weekends I just stay in all weekend drinking on my own watching TV, its not really a life. I drink because A. it comforts me and B. I'm bored. My drink of choice, red wine, I love the stuff, if I am out with friends it will be beer, I rarely do spirits, I don't really care for them, I drink around 2 bottles of wine a night, perhaps over a week a little less. Regards what I am like when I am drunk, because I have such a high tolerance I don't ever get to stage where I'm out of my mind, I am very mellow, I don't start fights , abuse people or black out. The reason I want to give up is because I am also overweight and with the drink comes the food, I could very much control the food without drinking because I love eating when I have wine, Obviously my health is a factor also, would appreciate any advice
I am taking this path to sobriety journey with ya. keep in touch.
Whats your plan?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Lucashood, you are not alone here. It all starts out innocent enough. For example, it doesn't sounds like things are so bad right now, but next thing you know it will ruin you (at least it has the potential to ruin you). Others can offer you better advice than myself, but being aware of it is step #1. Welcome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 2
Thanks for the Welcome folks
I bought a program called Alcohol lied to me by Craig back, I have listened to a few chapters and the basic idea is to change your idea about Alcohol, basically to see it what it really is so that its not a matter of will power that you don't drink but because you simply do not want to.
I think Allen Carr's book takes the same approach, I believe this is the only way for me. Will power will not work for , to stop something I would love to still have is too tough for me its too tough for anyone.
I have read a few threads here and one in particular caught my eye, where the poster says the thought of looking in the mirror and saying I can never have a drink again is awful. But that's where our drug of choice has caught us, its the marketing,we are not seeing alcohol for what it really is beautifully packaged poison , instead of saying I cant ever have a drink again how about re-phrasing it and instead saying I get to not drink disinfectant anymore, its not fine wine , beer, whiskey you are denying yourself , its Poison, nothing more
I bought a program called Alcohol lied to me by Craig back, I have listened to a few chapters and the basic idea is to change your idea about Alcohol, basically to see it what it really is so that its not a matter of will power that you don't drink but because you simply do not want to.
I think Allen Carr's book takes the same approach, I believe this is the only way for me. Will power will not work for , to stop something I would love to still have is too tough for me its too tough for anyone.
I have read a few threads here and one in particular caught my eye, where the poster says the thought of looking in the mirror and saying I can never have a drink again is awful. But that's where our drug of choice has caught us, its the marketing,we are not seeing alcohol for what it really is beautifully packaged poison , instead of saying I cant ever have a drink again how about re-phrasing it and instead saying I get to not drink disinfectant anymore, its not fine wine , beer, whiskey you are denying yourself , its Poison, nothing more
I'll give you point A. But drinking because you are bored? You sit at home all week and weekend and do nothing but drink. That's boring. The drink is numbing you to how boring your life is.
The good news is, the key to un-boring your life is in your hands. Start rekindling those old interests and passions.
The good news is, the key to un-boring your life is in your hands. Start rekindling those old interests and passions.
Howdy Lucas, We all know its hard to get out of our daily habits. You are realizing that you have a problem that is why you are here. So that is a good start and you will get support here on SR. Since I been coming in here it gave me the opportunity to open up and post whatever I need to get off my chest. It has help me through my sobriety and each day I am in control not to drink.
Here are some things that help me:
1. Went to AA Meetings
2. Bought the Big Book and read everyday
3. Write down the things I can relate to things
4. Change things I normally do when I did drink
5. Say the Sobriety prayer everyday
6. I got someone to help me through the 12 and 12 steps
7. I Believe in my Higher power to take care of the rest
8. Be honest to myself
I know you can do this, if you feel that craving or something is going wrong in your life take 2 steps back and if you can still reach that alcohol step 2 more and if you cant reach that alcohol then go from there to keep moving back from that and you will make amends to yourself that you don't need that in your life.
Here are some things that help me:
1. Went to AA Meetings
2. Bought the Big Book and read everyday
3. Write down the things I can relate to things
4. Change things I normally do when I did drink
5. Say the Sobriety prayer everyday
6. I got someone to help me through the 12 and 12 steps
7. I Believe in my Higher power to take care of the rest
8. Be honest to myself
I know you can do this, if you feel that craving or something is going wrong in your life take 2 steps back and if you can still reach that alcohol step 2 more and if you cant reach that alcohol then go from there to keep moving back from that and you will make amends to yourself that you don't need that in your life.
Welcome. I think it may be worth your while to sit in on some AA meetings because 1)you seem to be isolated and it would be good for you to meet people who enjoy life without drugs and alcohol and 2) you will discover sober ways to cope with boredom, etc.
I was also an alone drinker, and also drank wine. I justified those isolated evenings by saying that I interacted plenty during the day at my job, and needed my time alone to balance that out.
Like you, it was concerns about my health and the realization that if I continued this pattern, I wasn't going to make new friends. For many people, their hard drinking is associated with crowded pubs/bars and a sense of belonging. I've only been in bars to drink a handful of times in my life. I am an introvert, and just felt peaceful sitting on my back deck, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes, looking out toward the forest.
I just passed six months of my sobriety. I did go to AA. I have mixed feelings about it, but did find a women's meeting that I really enjoy, and I know I'll continue with. More importantly, being sober has helped me to approach friend making and companionship differently. I still feel that most of my social needs are filled with my job and my volunteer activities in my community, but I've made a few new friends (without using alcohol to connect with them) and also got myself a puppy. I also have a huge commitment to this website, and there are folks on here that I would indeed count as friends, even if I've never met them in person.
My life is mostly the same, but my evenings feel different sober. I take my dog for a long walk each night when I get home from work (an hour or more), prepare and eat a healthy meal, spend some time on SR, read or stretch or watch a movie. I quit smoking too. So, the activities aren't that different, and I'm still alone a lot of the time, but my brain is turned on instead of off. Alert and focused. Getting better sleep. Not feeling guilt and shame and fear about my health.
Its a big change and a small change at the same time.
Like you, it was concerns about my health and the realization that if I continued this pattern, I wasn't going to make new friends. For many people, their hard drinking is associated with crowded pubs/bars and a sense of belonging. I've only been in bars to drink a handful of times in my life. I am an introvert, and just felt peaceful sitting on my back deck, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes, looking out toward the forest.
I just passed six months of my sobriety. I did go to AA. I have mixed feelings about it, but did find a women's meeting that I really enjoy, and I know I'll continue with. More importantly, being sober has helped me to approach friend making and companionship differently. I still feel that most of my social needs are filled with my job and my volunteer activities in my community, but I've made a few new friends (without using alcohol to connect with them) and also got myself a puppy. I also have a huge commitment to this website, and there are folks on here that I would indeed count as friends, even if I've never met them in person.
My life is mostly the same, but my evenings feel different sober. I take my dog for a long walk each night when I get home from work (an hour or more), prepare and eat a healthy meal, spend some time on SR, read or stretch or watch a movie. I quit smoking too. So, the activities aren't that different, and I'm still alone a lot of the time, but my brain is turned on instead of off. Alert and focused. Getting better sleep. Not feeling guilt and shame and fear about my health.
Its a big change and a small change at the same time.
Welcome to the Forum Lucashood!!
Native Irish myself, and your post reads exactly where I was, go to work, come home, sit in front of TV and drink.
Understandably taking drinking out of the equation basically created a whole lot of free time and being bored out of my mind, but how about we look at things the other way, Sobriety doesn't create boredom, rather my life was already pretty boring while I was drinking, all I did was sit in and drink!!
Get a plan together, Sobriety doesn't just happen, we have to make it happen, change up your routines, your lifestyle, there is a whole wide world out there and alcohol is not the centre of the universe, even the irish universe!!
You can do this!!
Native Irish myself, and your post reads exactly where I was, go to work, come home, sit in front of TV and drink.
Understandably taking drinking out of the equation basically created a whole lot of free time and being bored out of my mind, but how about we look at things the other way, Sobriety doesn't create boredom, rather my life was already pretty boring while I was drinking, all I did was sit in and drink!!
Get a plan together, Sobriety doesn't just happen, we have to make it happen, change up your routines, your lifestyle, there is a whole wide world out there and alcohol is not the centre of the universe, even the irish universe!!
You can do this!!
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