PinkGstring

45 days
And it seems to get harder and harder!!!
I can't stop thinking about binge drinking how much I'd love to feel like it again.
Feeling depressed feel like I don't wanna be here anymore feel like I don't want to go to work!
Need my anti depressants reviewed but WHEN is that appointment man!?
I have a wedding shoot in 3 weeks also shooting the reception it will be the first time since detox I'll be expised to alcohol! I am NOT trusting myself here.
Talked with my physchologist about it aperently she'll help me set up a plan to help me withstand the urges to drink.

Lots of swear words that I want to say but can't grrrrrr

thomas11

Last weekend I wanted to drink, and did. I wish I hadn't. I'm sure you know better. You will feel like crap. Great job on 45 days.

Dee74

45 days is great PGS. Hang in there.

when is your appointment with your Dr?

D

Kevin78

Well done on 45 days. I hope your psycologist can help.

Try to remember how you felt the last time after you had a drink.

Wholesome

I was right around where you are when I started to find it harder and harder instead of easier so I folded like a cheap suit and drank..... Didn't help anything, it wasn't what I was really looking for, it didn't bring me the satisfaction I was seeking. All I got was a hangover and a deep disappointment with myself for caving.

Stay strong and figure out how to fill that space. Try to identify what it is that's making you feel like drinking. For me I was lonely and seeking companionship.

PinkGstring

Im on my lowest now today all
Morning niw i just am driving nuts! Felt like strangeling customers at work now at home seeing my therapist in half an hour we need to talk about my anti depressants seriously do the fok all!
I'm fed up sick and tired of this crazy feeling since last night i just cant stop crying!!!
It seems the longer i go without the harder it gets and the more i wanna drink!!!!
I seriously am going to hit something or somebody soon! Im so angry! Upset deprrssed empty! Craving drinks

Dee74

Drinking won;t solve anything tho - drinking is what bought you here to SR in the first place.

I hope you and your psych can work something out and have you feeling a little less traumatized, Pink

D

Notimetoloose

Check out RR or AVRT see if that can help you with getting the cravings under control. The secular section of this site..great stuff...it really helped me so much to get the AV to back down.
Also, don't forget HALT, I ate so much ice cream in the first few months.
You can do this PGS..drinking can really mess with your anti depression meds.
You are doing so well, 45 days is awesome.
It really starts to get better and easier the longer you can put between you and your last drink.
Get today done, just today.

GoesWithTheFlow

I hope you can hang on! You are doing a great job! Today when I walked into AMPM to buy coffee I saw some deals on a 12pack of beer. I thought to myself for the first time, maybe I should buy this, you have done good enough already. But I just shut the AV almost instantly before it became to loud then moved on in thoughts so it wouldn't return. Now I am happy to be home, safe, and sober! Best feeling ever; I can't believe I used to say sober life sucks :P Sober life is really awesome

aldo1981

Hi PGS

Don’t know how long you have been on the (AD) Meds ? medical advice on here is forbidden but from my experience the meds took a good 8 weeks to make any difference to my feelings.

The problem I had was I was waiting for the meds to solve all my issues but I got off my ass and tried some of the things friend on SR advised it Keeping occupied really helped me.

Also well done on your sobriety I am in my early days to but give yourself a pat on the back you are still going to work that’s not easy what with all the crazy feelings and emotions but they will get better time.

Keep it up you are doing it one day at a time.

PurpleKnight

45 Days is fantastic!! Keep pushing through, don't throw it away!!

PinkGstring

Thanks guys! Xoxo
Day 46 niw Im just awake tired as hell having a day off from my second job, to rest though have two houses to photograph bugger but I need the money!
I did what my therapist said would be a good thing to do I asked a friend who's also a photographer she knows i'm struggling, if she wants to join me for the wedding shoot.
It's a six hours drive one way great to share the drive. She said she'd feel honoured.
Fingers crossed the bride will find it ok to have a secobd shooter for free and that my friend can stay at reception to eyeball me I won't drink!
I know I can do it but I'd feel so much better having a friend around
J

PinkGstring

Been on them for years now they dont wirk anymore my clinic gp and psychiatrist will review them better not discuss this here dont wanna get booted lol

PinkGstring

Ive got two jovs one to pay the mortgage as a second job and my main job is self employed photographer im pretty proud im doing these two jobs between feeling all ovrr the place SR is really helping me
I know ad drugs are not the solution and that I have to work hard. I had an emergency consult yesterday with my psychologist from the detox/rehab clinic
We're working on it she's awesome and makes so much sense

aldo1981

Hey PGS

Glad you have a plan and the photography thing I can imagine is a gob but also a passion I would love to be able to do something like that it is another way of expressing yourself in a way.

No matter what happens next you are doing the right things so keep it up keep the posts up and keep in touch