Newcomer needs support
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 10
Newcomer needs support
Hi everyone!
I guess I am on here for support since I cannot physically go to a naranon or alanon group in my area. I currently have twin girl (4) and a son (3). My husband has been an addict for about 4 years and has been to 7 rehabs. This last time at rehab I decided was it because I cannot continue with this cycle. My kids and I should not have to suffer the consequences of his actions . I understand it is a disease, however just like any other disease, it is ones own responsibility to continue with the treatment to get better. I feel like I put in more of the effort to get him to go to groups then he does. Recently I found out he cheated on me when he first entered a sober living house. Although I decided that I was done with this marriage in January, I am devastated over this new which I just found out about a few days ago. We currently are not living together and have not been since January but I guess now it is really hitting me that it is over. I have tried to be supportive of him throughout the years while he has brought out nothing but the worst in me. To imagine that his spent some of his clean time with some girl whose own life is a mess, is a slap in my face. The time that he spent with getting to know and meet this girl is what kills me. That time was suppose to be for bettering himself and getting back on track for his family. This affair happened last September but I recently found he was reaching out to her which is how I discovered what was going on. Anyway, I should be happy that I no longer have to go on this roller coaster ride with him but I am sad that my kids cannot experience having both parents together as I would imagine every kids wants. I guess in the end, I was replaced a long time ago by drugs anyway. I am divorcing him not because of the affair, because in reality I know we all make mistakes; I am divorcing him because I cannot be the doormat in which he walks on anymore. He has relapses countless times and thinks a simple "sorry" will make it ok and he will simply get another chance. Now with this affair, I'm sure he will think he can do the same. When does the lying end? Probably never and I do not want to waste my life hoping that one day he will have an epiphany about his own life..Anyway, I am rambling.. So happy I can vent on here.
I guess I am on here for support since I cannot physically go to a naranon or alanon group in my area. I currently have twin girl (4) and a son (3). My husband has been an addict for about 4 years and has been to 7 rehabs. This last time at rehab I decided was it because I cannot continue with this cycle. My kids and I should not have to suffer the consequences of his actions . I understand it is a disease, however just like any other disease, it is ones own responsibility to continue with the treatment to get better. I feel like I put in more of the effort to get him to go to groups then he does. Recently I found out he cheated on me when he first entered a sober living house. Although I decided that I was done with this marriage in January, I am devastated over this new which I just found out about a few days ago. We currently are not living together and have not been since January but I guess now it is really hitting me that it is over. I have tried to be supportive of him throughout the years while he has brought out nothing but the worst in me. To imagine that his spent some of his clean time with some girl whose own life is a mess, is a slap in my face. The time that he spent with getting to know and meet this girl is what kills me. That time was suppose to be for bettering himself and getting back on track for his family. This affair happened last September but I recently found he was reaching out to her which is how I discovered what was going on. Anyway, I should be happy that I no longer have to go on this roller coaster ride with him but I am sad that my kids cannot experience having both parents together as I would imagine every kids wants. I guess in the end, I was replaced a long time ago by drugs anyway. I am divorcing him not because of the affair, because in reality I know we all make mistakes; I am divorcing him because I cannot be the doormat in which he walks on anymore. He has relapses countless times and thinks a simple "sorry" will make it ok and he will simply get another chance. Now with this affair, I'm sure he will think he can do the same. When does the lying end? Probably never and I do not want to waste my life hoping that one day he will have an epiphany about his own life..Anyway, I am rambling.. So happy I can vent on here.
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