Telling my parents I need help
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 11
Telling my parents I need help
Hi people,
This problem has not so slowly crept on me; . I have always had a problem with alcohol, ever since I was 12 years old. I used to get terribly sick off alcohol. They say it is a good sign of an alcoholic if they are intolerant to alcohol. It makes sense to me if you still drink after making you sick.
Anyway please listen to what I have to say. Before some of you say "**** you" to my life after I say my position please let me tell you how much pain I am in. I am doing a post graduate degree and I have a great job working in finance from home. I won't apologize for that BUT I am suffering big time. People see me as normal but I am dying inside, I don't know whether it is all to do with alcohol but I am an addict at 23 years old. I go from one horrible binge to another every 2 days. I am starting to crave alcohol so much that it is all I can think about. I blackout nearly every time I drink (so 3 times a week) and I fainted at work the other day (at a meeting embarrassing my boss who put faith in me).
I am going to tell my dad tomorrow, who is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years. I need advice. How do I tell him? he put so much faith me, I can't fail him. And the scariest thing is living without alcohol. Please someone what do I tell my father?
This problem has not so slowly crept on me; . I have always had a problem with alcohol, ever since I was 12 years old. I used to get terribly sick off alcohol. They say it is a good sign of an alcoholic if they are intolerant to alcohol. It makes sense to me if you still drink after making you sick.
Anyway please listen to what I have to say. Before some of you say "**** you" to my life after I say my position please let me tell you how much pain I am in. I am doing a post graduate degree and I have a great job working in finance from home. I won't apologize for that BUT I am suffering big time. People see me as normal but I am dying inside, I don't know whether it is all to do with alcohol but I am an addict at 23 years old. I go from one horrible binge to another every 2 days. I am starting to crave alcohol so much that it is all I can think about. I blackout nearly every time I drink (so 3 times a week) and I fainted at work the other day (at a meeting embarrassing my boss who put faith in me).
I am going to tell my dad tomorrow, who is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years. I need advice. How do I tell him? he put so much faith me, I can't fail him. And the scariest thing is living without alcohol. Please someone what do I tell my father?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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No ones going to attack you here themadone 
Be honest is my advice. And take whatever advice your dad may give you, but remember this isn't his recovery - it's yours - you need to do the heavy lifting
D
Be honest is my advice. And take whatever advice your dad may give you, but remember this isn't his recovery - it's yours - you need to do the heavy lifting
D
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Dee74 
No ones going to attack you here themadone
Be honest is my advice. And take whatever advice your dad may give you, but remember this isn't his recovery - it's yours - you need to do the heavy lifting
D
Be honest is my advice. And take whatever advice your dad may give you, but remember this isn't his recovery - it's yours - you need to do the heavy lifting
D
I think the problem I have is it will be accepting failure to myself, something I have not done but need to do. I need to become vulnerable to another person. I have lied to myself for to long. Even girlfriends I have hide it from. But I am young so I get away with it.
I dad had a slightly different problem to me. He would not be able to stop once he drunk. I am the same but now I am starting to become dependent on the stuff. I always told myself I was fine because I was not dependent but the alcohol won in this case. I just don't want it to beat me completely, I want to feel like I did as a child again.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
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hmm I wrote a longer reply but it didn't work. but hi there - I don't have much advice for telling your father other than I think it's a great idea and you should just be as honest and direct as possible
I'm 24 and drank from a similar age and have 2 post grads and also appeared 'normal' to most people even though I was horribly sick, so i certainly relate. I didn't tell my parents, they found out when I started going in and out of hospitals towards the end of my drinking when i was physically falling apart. i definitely recommend telling them, and keep reaching out for help. i'm glad you're here
I'm 24 and drank from a similar age and have 2 post grads and also appeared 'normal' to most people even though I was horribly sick, so i certainly relate. I didn't tell my parents, they found out when I started going in and out of hospitals towards the end of my drinking when i was physically falling apart. i definitely recommend telling them, and keep reaching out for help. i'm glad you're here
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Originally Posted by Inchworm
Welcome, themadone. Just tell him. He probably won't be as surprised as you think. Being sober is so worth it.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
Oh, Madone, big hugs to you. Do not delay in asking for help. My 25 year old son tried to tell me one time and I really didn't act on it as quickly as I should have. I may have prevented a lot of his problems. The best decision I made was getting him into an IOP where the psychiatrist has put him on Antabuse and is actively trying to see if there are other reasons for his bingeing. He is also a college graduate and did very well in school. However, the bingeing has set him back light years. Good luck to you!
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Welcome,
To get rid of the voice that tells you drink, simply recognize it and let it go. It will gradually lessen its intensity and will eventually disappear.
Personally, I think you should worry more about how you plan to stop drinking and recover, than what to tell your father. It would be great to have your father's support, but the main thing is that this is your journey. We do understand how hard this is.
To get rid of the voice that tells you drink, simply recognize it and let it go. It will gradually lessen its intensity and will eventually disappear.
Personally, I think you should worry more about how you plan to stop drinking and recover, than what to tell your father. It would be great to have your father's support, but the main thing is that this is your journey. We do understand how hard this is.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Welcome! I agree with Anna. Focus more on what you're going to do for yourself. The voice in your head will grow fainter as you ignore it more. Acknowledge it for what it is: a liar. It's just a thought, and thoughts don't have to become actions.
I'm glad you joined us. You'll find lots of support here.
I agree with Anna. Focus more on what you're going to do for yourself. The voice in your head will grow fainter as you ignore it more. Acknowledge it for what it is: a liar. It's just a thought, and thoughts don't have to become actions.I'm glad you joined us. You'll find lots of support here.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome,
To get rid of the voice that tells you drink, simply recognize it and let it go. It will gradually lessen its intensity and will eventually disappear.
Personally, I think you should worry more about how you plan to stop drinking and recover, than what to tell your father. It would be great to have your father's support, but the main thing is that this is your journey. We do understand how hard this is.
To get rid of the voice that tells you drink, simply recognize it and let it go. It will gradually lessen its intensity and will eventually disappear.
Personally, I think you should worry more about how you plan to stop drinking and recover, than what to tell your father. It would be great to have your father's support, but the main thing is that this is your journey. We do understand how hard this is.
And thank for all your support it is amazing to hear people who understand.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
themadone, I'm 29, but also work in finance and am also doing postgrad work. And, like you, I don't drink every night, but when I do, I go all out.
I agree it's pretty terrifying to think about life without alcohol. And, like you, I am struggling to confide in my parents, though I think they already suspect it.
So, I don't really have a whole lot of advice for you, other than to say that there are people out there like you. I sorta wish I could rewind to 23 and start this process. I know it would have made my 20s a lot more enjoyable had I not been blacking out routinely and making an arse of myself most weekends and then regretting it all week and spending one or two week nights pounding vodka out of boredom/anxiety/etc
I agree it's pretty terrifying to think about life without alcohol. And, like you, I am struggling to confide in my parents, though I think they already suspect it.
So, I don't really have a whole lot of advice for you, other than to say that there are people out there like you. I sorta wish I could rewind to 23 and start this process. I know it would have made my 20s a lot more enjoyable had I not been blacking out routinely and making an arse of myself most weekends and then regretting it all week and spending one or two week nights pounding vodka out of boredom/anxiety/etc
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Originally Posted by nymets86
themadone, I'm 29, but also work in finance and am also doing postgrad work. And, like you, I don't drink every night, but when I do, I go all out.
I agree it's pretty terrifying to think about life without alcohol. And, like you, I am struggling to confide in my parents, though I think they already suspect it.
So, I don't really have a whole lot of advice for you, other than to say that there are people out there like you. I sorta wish I could rewind to 23 and start this process. I know it would have made my 20s a lot more enjoyable had I not been blacking out routinely and making an arse of myself most weekends and then regretting it all week and spending one or two week nights pounding vodka out of boredom/anxiety/etc
I agree it's pretty terrifying to think about life without alcohol. And, like you, I am struggling to confide in my parents, though I think they already suspect it.
So, I don't really have a whole lot of advice for you, other than to say that there are people out there like you. I sorta wish I could rewind to 23 and start this process. I know it would have made my 20s a lot more enjoyable had I not been blacking out routinely and making an arse of myself most weekends and then regretting it all week and spending one or two week nights pounding vodka out of boredom/anxiety/etc
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Yeah, it's definitely hard telling parents. Not sure where you are from, but I'm guessing Australia since you said "mate" and it's 2 in the afternoon there.
Anyway, I know that I got in some trouble at school at 18 for drinking, and it was 3 years till I was legal and so I've grown so used to hiding my alcohol use from my parents. They're not dopes though and know something is up. But since I have a good paying job and keep getting promoted and have a high post grad GPA, I don't think they realize the thin ice I am on drinking wise.
Anyway, I know that I got in some trouble at school at 18 for drinking, and it was 3 years till I was legal and so I've grown so used to hiding my alcohol use from my parents. They're not dopes though and know something is up. But since I have a good paying job and keep getting promoted and have a high post grad GPA, I don't think they realize the thin ice I am on drinking wise.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 45
We add a level of secrecy to what we do, because we are embarrassed, but you know everyone knew what I was doing. The second.. I mean, the next second after I asked for help, my father agreed and was on board.
I think once you get everything out on the table.. you will feel liberated, and also in a stronger position to combat drinking. you obviously are tired of it, you making steps on your own to come here and investigate, getting it out and open.. that's awesome.. and that makes you mighty.
The second.. I mean, the next second after I asked for help, my father agreed and was on board.I think once you get everything out on the table.. you will feel liberated, and also in a stronger position to combat drinking. you obviously are tired of it, you making steps on your own to come here and investigate, getting it out and open.. that's awesome.. and that makes you mighty.
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