pinkpeony

Apparently my rambling, near hysterical, crazy-sounding email to my brothers may have done something.

I got a response that my brothers and my mother are trying to work together to come up with a solution.

My brother said that they are working on some options and will respond with a group consensus soon. He said that they will all help in a way best for me.

So, I am cautiously hopeful. I say that because my brothers and mother are very judgemental towards me. These are the same people that have been very two-faced to/about me in the past......and this one brother is extremely intelligent but tends to think he knows whats best for everyone.
So, I don't know what they are thinking of doing (makes me a bit uneasy) but maybe real help is on its way soon.

I believe my brother contacted AH because this morning when I got up my car had been moved from where it had been parked, as if AH had been working on it.

Also, AH (who came home early this AM) approached me and said that he had to go to work in the city for a couple hours and did I want to get out of the house and go to my favorite large bookstore for a couple hours while he was working....... I almost fell out of my chair when he asked me this!
AND he brought home some groceries.

charis78

I am so happy for you ))))

dandylion

pink...I sure hope that they can offer you some substantial help. Don't feel guilty if they do. Reserve your energy for yourself.

He "behaves" himself when your daughter is around...and, he brings home food when she is there. I am under the impression that he is not her biologic dad..because you always say "my daughter"....(sorry if I am wrong). Why do you think he makes the extra effort for her..but, not you?

dandylion

pinkpeony

No, he's her bio dad.

I think he just doesn't care about me, maybe it's to punish me? Maybe he thinks I don't deserve it because I'm not financially contributing to the household and he resents that as he does work his butt of at his job (usually no less than 55-65 hour work weeks)

I don't know.

I do feel anxious when I have to ask him for anything that I need.

dandylion

pink...I"m sorry...I made an assumption, there.

I'm soo sorry that he treats you like that. It sounds like h e treats you like a disapproving parent.

dandylion

jjj111

Of course you feel anxious, Pink. He's a big a$$hole about it when you ask for anything and yells at you about how worthless you are on a regular basis. That doesn't mean you don't deserve any support, though. It's not just people on here who think you deserve something for raising his seven children--this is a part of marriage law in the US! Stay at home mothers are entitled to support when their marriages end. Have you ever talked to a lawyer about what you would be entitled to in a separation/divorce? It's great that your family might help. I hope you will also follow up on some of the suggestions people have made in your previous threads for ways you can help yourself. Chicory's post this morning was full of great suggestions. (((hugs)))

LexieCat

Sounds to me as if one of your brothers may have had a little "chat" with your husband. I hope that doesn't make things any worse for you. It kind of sounds as if they are trying not to "enable" him, but helping out their sister directly doesn't seem to fall in that category.

Have you told your family you are trying to LEAVE? Could you trust them not to convey that bit of information to him? That might put a different spin on things for them, if you told them you are trying to get away from him, not have him provide for you better so you can stay.

pinkpeony

I told my brother to be very careful about what he said to AH as I would undoubtedly have it thrown back in my face during his next drunk ranting episode.
Yes, family knows I want and need to leave. I went into explicit detail about how things are.
AH also knows I want to and need to leave. He knows that is the goal.

AliWProk

So this could be a dangerous time for you and daughter. Please take care.

maia1234

PP- I am happy for you that your family has finally stepped up to help you.

I understand you being worried about what they want to do. Remember to sit back, listen to all and then make your decisions. They do want you to be safe, like all of us.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the car gets fixed and he "gives" you gas money so you can get out of the house. Be cautious as you never know what you A is up to!!

((((((((((pp)))))))))))

Refiner

Oh thank God! However, I don't think it was a very good idea they contacted HIM. They just put you in incredible danger IMHO. What ever happened with the church you contacted? Today is Sunday... Did know one agree to pick you up?

redatlanta

We don't know for sure AH has been contacted correct?

No looking a gift horse in the mouth - they may not come up with exactly what you would like but if gets you the hell out praise the Lord.

pinkpeony

Well AH told me that my brother left him a message and then I see my car was at least moved and looked at.
Plus AH asking me if I wanted to get out of the house for a couple hours is pretty out of character, so I'm thinking they did talk.

AH can't stand confrontation with others so I'm sure he got my brother off the phone quickly.

pinkpeony

I didn't go today, as I've been having horrible insomnia.
I can't fall asleep most nights until at least 4:30am, and sometimes not at all.

Refiner

I was wondering especially since churches usually have potlucks on Sunday and you didn't have food. But then I read he brought you food. What did he bring you? I hope it wasn't more abuse like bringing you pot roast from Cracker Barrel when you're a vegetarian.

pinkpeony

Yeah, this is one of those mega churches, I think the 2nd largest in the state,
they have a whole lot of resources and wonderful things but they don't have those lovely smaller church type things like potlucks and such


No, he bought our regular grocery types of food