PinotNOmore

After deciding I didn't like my "sobriety date" because it was an odd number (crazy lady), I drank last night. A lot. I would say maybe 8-10 drinks which is WAY more than I have had on one occasion since March last year. After 8 months sober (April-Dec) and a few months of "moderating" It seriously kicked my butt. So, anyway, back to the title of my post. The benefits of drinking that I experienced today:

*EXTREMELY tired
*Upset stomach
*threw up around 3pm (because I was still feeling crummy)
*Shaking hands and anxiety. Only mildly but good gosh is it a reminder of some very scary withdrawal/hangover days in the past.
*Didn't leave the house till almost 4pm. Cant remember the last Saturday I wasted inside and my two year old was getting serious cabin fever.
*Last but not least... I bought MORE booze to help me feel better, so now I'm probably going to feel crappy tomorrow as well. (2 glasses of red wine, 2 shots vodka, and a beer)

I'm posting tonight because I am GOING to make this stick tomorrow. March is my Birthday month and it would be awesome to share a sobriety birthday with my real bday month. I wish I could remember what happened last Easter which made me wake up and go 8 months, but I guess I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN somehow again. And not just 8 months, 4 days this time!

PLEASE wish me luck!

EndGameNYC

Beyond seeing a great deal of pain them, I don't know what to make of your comments.

439trish

Pinotnomore

8 months and 4 days, all I can say is wow, at 36 days I am still amazed that anyone hangs in there for very long....this is no easy undertaking.

but I do wish you well...and I do wish you good luck....

just don't ever give up, that is what I believe is the MOST IMPORTANT THING to remember.

so you stuck your toe in the water again, just to find out that it is still the same whirlpool ready to take you down the drain....But you are back here!!!

I'm glad you are. Thanks for your post.

ANewDayNYC

Good luck Pinot, you can do this!

ScottFromWI

It will take more than luck, but I still wish you the best of it. Make it stick and stick here with us.

PinotNOmore

Is meant to be sarcasm. I see no real benifits. I hoped that was clearer... I apologize if it wasn't!

Thatdeliveryguy

Congrats on your decision to get sober. No need to suffer anymore, withdrawal is the worst, but as they say you never have to do it again. Good luck to you.

Jsbodhi

I've had my share of relapses, always a stark reminder of how horrible alcohol is!!!

itstheone

Good follow up because I was a little confused.

ReadyAtLast

Maybe pour tonight's booze down the drain,start now and don't wait till tomorrow. Then at least you won't be wasting another day. I quit drinking when my son was 2. It is the best thing I've ever done. I can't believe I wasted so much of his early life drinking. I kidded myself that as he was in bed it was ok but all the wasted days and hungover days were not good for either of us. Whilst I might have been physically present I was far from mentally and emotionally present and not the best mother I could or should have been. At least sober I'm giving both of us the best shot at it especially now I've separated from my husband.

You've quit before you can do it again But do it now- tomorrow never comes and it just gets harder and harder stick around SR all night if needs be. We are here for you and you can do this

Grungehead

Us alcoholics (and our AV) can be very creative thinking up reasons why a drink would be a good idea.

My favorite day to quit was always tomorrow. Turns out that really the best day to quit was yesterday. Good luck with your new start tomorrow!

Dee74

Personally I think you need a better plan than good luck Pinot - but I hope you can find what you need to make this your turning point.

Whatever you decide to do, give it everything you've got - you'll get back from your recovery what you put into it.

D

Nonsensical

Maybe you could work on this?

mecanix

PNM ,

The sober highway is broad and long .. it still has ups and downs . Looks like you fell off your sober bike .
I hope you don't lay flat on your back too long as there is lots of fun to have yet on our journey .

Take care , m

MIRecovery

Sobriety for me was about action. I made a plan that included Doctors, IOP, education, significant life changes, AA, spirituality and building a sober network.

As others have said luck has little to do with staying sober

advbike

Oh, I had the same obsession with my sobriety date.. my AV wanted something special.. certain combinations of even and odd numbers, or multiples, like all divisible by 3 or something. It was ridiculous.. I went for more than six months from the date 10/10/10 just because it was such an awesome quit date.. lol.. until my taxes put me over the edge again..

Seriously, this obsession went on for a few years.. until I finally drank too much one night, hit on a neighbor friend, felt like crap the next day.. and said enough is enough.

I quit because I finally wanted it bad enough.

Oh! Hey, look at that.. this is my 999th post here... lol.

HeartsAfire

This was me too for what seemed like forever. It doesn't matter what the date is. You'll have no trouble remembering & it will ALWAYS be special & perfect for you. Today has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

FreeOwl

welcome back the the brighter side....

The 'benefits' of drinking are far outweighed by the benefits of sobriety.

Sometimes we forget that - I'm glad you remember now...

ru12

Hi Pinot. You know of course that you NEVER have to feel like this again. I can't explain what a revelation it was to me when I finally saw that I never HAD to drink again. It still sometimes makes me all tingly... I saw that I had the option to stop and stop I did. I hope you make the firm decision to stop dancing with alcohol.

nymets86

Pinot, I'm in agreement with many of the others that "luck" isn't what you need. Nonetheless, I understand where you are coming from. Like, someone will wish you "luck" before a big exam or presentation. "Luck" isn't what is needed though, it's good preparation.

So, I'll go ahead and wish you good luck!

Also, I opened this thread since I've gone through the benefits of drinking in my head a lot the last two weeks. Other than MAYBE a few drinks reducing my social anxiety, I really can't find any. My list of benefits would be a sarcastic list, just like yours, all negatives.

Even the one positive I can think of isn't really a positive since I have trouble sticking to just a few drinks and it sets in motion bad habits. Similarly, I'd be much better off facing those situations sober and getting comfortable with them (or at least feeling the anxiety and fully understanding it).