27 Days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 81
27 Days
27 days and there are so many ups and downs. My addictive voice can be strong. As I recover from my addictions my body is also starting to heal and I can start to see some of the swelling in my arms where I used to stick a needle go down and my veins come back. This is having both a positive and negative effect.
Positive= I am getting healthy. Negative= To be frank and honest, seeing a nice plump vein makes me want to stick a needle in it.
Today when I had a vein pop up I started to think if I was still using I would have been so happy to see it. It made me fantasize about heroin for about an hour. It also made me feel sad to think that I would never get to feel that warm feeling that heroin makes you feel. Because I have to be honest heroin makes you feel so good. I never had a bad time on heroin it's just all the negative outside effects like spending money and lying that made it so bad for me. I also found my mind saying that heroin isn't actually bad. That everyone else has it wrong that heroin is bad. The feeling eventually subsided, but man this is a tough process for sure!
I am looking for anyone else that has had a similar feeling/experience with their doc and how they dealt with it in order to remain sober?
Positive= I am getting healthy. Negative= To be frank and honest, seeing a nice plump vein makes me want to stick a needle in it.
Today when I had a vein pop up I started to think if I was still using I would have been so happy to see it. It made me fantasize about heroin for about an hour. It also made me feel sad to think that I would never get to feel that warm feeling that heroin makes you feel. Because I have to be honest heroin makes you feel so good. I never had a bad time on heroin it's just all the negative outside effects like spending money and lying that made it so bad for me. I also found my mind saying that heroin isn't actually bad. That everyone else has it wrong that heroin is bad. The feeling eventually subsided, but man this is a tough process for sure!
I am looking for anyone else that has had a similar feeling/experience with their doc and how they dealt with it in order to remain sober?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me dealing with the thoughts of "it would be different this time", "just the one", "I can control this" over alcohol were real feelings/thoughts that I had to deal with with regards to alcohol.
Like all cravings I had to figure out a way to push beyond them, realise when the myths and fantasies that my mind was telling me and trying to sell me where false.
The reality was that nothing would be any different, a period of abstinence in no way has cured me, it would be exactly the same consequences.
Having plenty of support around me, going back to read old posts, keeping and hammering home that perspective kept me going, and in time those thoughts begin to fade somewhat!!
Like all cravings I had to figure out a way to push beyond them, realise when the myths and fantasies that my mind was telling me and trying to sell me where false.
The reality was that nothing would be any different, a period of abstinence in no way has cured me, it would be exactly the same consequences.
Having plenty of support around me, going back to read old posts, keeping and hammering home that perspective kept me going, and in time those thoughts begin to fade somewhat!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
I think everyone has those thoughts, Beddy.
If we didn't recovery would be a whole lot easier.
this is some pretty textbook AV, beddy.
Have you looked into AVRT yet?
D
If we didn't recovery would be a whole lot easier.
Today when I had a vein pop up I started to think if I was still using I would have been so happy to see it. It made me fantasize about heroin for about an hour. It also made me feel sad to think that I would never get to feel that warm feeling that heroin makes you feel. Because I have to be honest heroin makes you feel so good. I never had a bad time on heroin it's just all the negative outside effects like spending money and lying that made it so bad for me. I also found my mind saying that heroin isn't actually bad. That everyone else has it wrong that heroin is bad.
Have you looked into AVRT yet?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think everyone has those thoughts, Beddy. If we didn't recovery would be a whole lot easier. this is some pretty textbook AV, beddy. Have you looked into AVRT yet? D
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