Nexus

Is this forum still a useful outlet if I am not yet ready to quit alcohol entirely but would like to moderate my consumption?

Anna

Welcome, but this is a forum for abstinence. If you are trying to stop for good, we welcome you. Otherwise, you may want to google moderation management.

Dee74

Hi Nexus

Like Anna said, most of us here have tried moderation, found it didn't work for us, and found the only way is abstinence, and we share that experience

Alcohol's clearly causing you problems for you to sign up here - what makes you unwilling to give it up for good?

D

ScottFromWI

In my experience, those who can moderate their drinking don't need help or support to do it....they simply do it without even thinking about it.

If you are seeking help to moderate, is it because you have tried to and cannot?

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Nexus!!

For me if I could moderate, I probably wouldn't have had to join a recovery website to pose that question, it indicated that I may have had a more serious problem with alcohol than I first thought!!

MIRecovery

Moderation is the holy grail of the alcoholic and just as elusive

VikingGF

I finally gave up that ghost.

Do you need help moderating? If so, stick around and read some posts. It may give you some insight as to why this is a forum for abstinence.

At any rate, welcome to SR!

jryan19982

Words taken out of my mouth before I could say (type them), Anna...

But like Scott said (man you guys are on top of it) if you are here, more often than not you have an issue with drinking, and since you are realizing that or questioning if you have a problem- the answer is yes you do. I dont mean to get you down. But normal people dont ask if they have a problem. They KNOW they dont have a problem.

Maybe you think you have a problem getting drunk too much, or too often, and that could be the case. You might very well be able to manage your drinking to not abusing it, but we here at this site cant.

Best of luck on your journey.

MelindaFlowers

That was my first thought. I'll bet you have tried and it didn't work. Didn't work for me either.

I used to roll my eyes when people would say this but it is true, and not in a snarky way at all.

It is easier to not drink than to try to control it. All the planning and failing was such a headache.

Abstinence is better, easier, possible. It's the only way for me.

MariahGayle

Hi Nexus.......After many, many failed attempts at moderation, I've found that for me, as with many here, abstinence is my only option. This is a great place for support & encouragement.

Ultramarathoner

I suck at moderation. Really.

I decided to give up alcohol, and found myself drinking too much coffee- so I choose to give that up too!

I began running and decided to commit to a 32 mile race after my first 5 mile run.

That said, I totally applaud those who are able to moderate.

Me, I choose to live be the below quote (strictly in relation to alcohol, coffee, and running!):

"Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew."

~ Dan Millman Quotes from Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Hevyn

Nice to see you here Nexus. I'm a failed moderator too. Almost lost my life insisting I could use willpower to just enjoy 'a few' now and then. Please do keep us in mind if you should decide stopping is what you need to do. Meanwhile, I hope you'll read some of the posts and good info. on here.

SoberLeigh

^

SoberLeigh

Nice quote, Ultramarathoner.

least

I tried to moderate and failed horribly. It's easier, and nicer, to just not drink at all.

Why not give sobriety a good go? Try six months sober and see how you feel then.

Della1968

I moderated myself right into a lost job, lost fiance and a DWI....I wish you all the best whatever path you choose.

MelindaFlowers

I moderated myself to serious health problems. I hear ya Della!

If I close my eyes and really channel my thoughts, honestly, about what my thinking was back when I wanted to moderate, I did not want to moderate to one or two drinks. I wanted to moderate the times I got really drunk. I wanted to moderate the blackouts. Once a month seemed reasonable right? Certainly better than once a week.

I thought there was something different about me than the people here. I kid you not. I thought that. I thought I could moderate. Somehow, some way, it would work for me.

It didn't. I kept moderation as a plan I would start.....drumroll please....tomorrow.

fini

Nexus,
it's great to have such a straightforward question, stating clearly what you want and what you don't.
this is a 'recovery' place; recovery meaning an end to addiction, basically. however you define addiction.
an end.
not a different way of using.
moderating isn't that. as you know.

whether this place might be useful to you in terms of what you want? no, i can't see it.

as Anna suggested, check out Moderation Management. or, i believe there is a site called HARMS, or HAMS, something relating to harm reduction.

people who are here for 'recovery' are here because we couldn't "do" moderation. most of us tried. repeatedly. and then some.

best to you on your journey. SR will still be here if you find moderating not working out for you.

LDT

As one of my good SR friends once said ( and I concur ) "Moderation is the rainbow unicorn of all alcoholics". We wish it could be a reality, but.........

esinger

I tried that. Turns out I'm just too compulsive of a person. If you can do it, here's to ya.
There's other sites out there that go into this. I actually had email correspondence with a rather famous proponent of this idea. I don't think this site will allow links to things to do with harm reduction stuff but Google is a wonderful thing. If you find it doesn't work out there's a lot of different perspectives on how to achieve and stay abstinent on this site. Good luck.