Katchie

I do not know why, but I've been having crazy dreams my husband gets involved in a relationship with another addict from his rehab. What in the world! I've been having them since he told me last week that it is a coed facility tho living quarters are separate and a lot of the meetings are separate too. But last nights dream was so vivid. He was leaving me because the addict understood him better and accepted him for who he is -- an alcoholic. She would have all the relations he wants drunk or not.

I don't think I'm worried about this at all. In some ways if he actually told me such a thing, I'm not sure I would care. I've been in a mode of we are either going to do what is necessary to be a married couple or we aren't, but lets get the show on the road. Maybe I'm putting too much into these dreams, they are only dreams after all.

I did see a lawyer yesterday and I can't say it made things any clearer as to what is the best route to take -- legal separation or just living apart w/o the legal paperwork. He did caution me moving out of our home, but at the same time not allowing my AH to live at grandmothers. I just don't know what the right move is.

knowthetriggers

Hi Katchie -

I do not have any suggestions here but just wanted to say I am praying for all of you.

Take care friend!

LexieCat

I think your dreams are sort of like "drinking dreams" that a lot of alcoholics have. Obviously the rehab stuff is on your mind right now, and your relationship is sort of in limbo while all this is going on. It probably doesn't "mean" much other than that. Our brains process things that are a big deal in waking life, and sometimes puts them together in odd ways in our dreams.

Glad you talked to a lawyer. The ultimate decisions you make are up to you, but it's always good to know the legal ramifications of whatever the options are.

lillamy

I'm also thinking that sometimes your dreaming mind is less worried about what you "should" and "shouldn't" think about -- so this might be something that is a concern for you (or a hope?) and something you could work through in therapy if you feel it's important?

hopeful4

(((Katchie)))

gettingstronger

Could your dreams represent a fear of abandonment/left behind for you?

In the fall, I found out that my AH had told a friend that he was going to leave me. At first, I had a panic moment of "oh no! What can I do to change his mind? I don't want to be the one left behind." It did make me realize that I needed to work through my fear of abandonment. This week, I'm thinking, "gee, if only he really would leave . . ."

If your H did leave you for anyone else, trust God that He would be looking after you and make whatever happens in your life beautiful.

hugs and prayers.

Katchie

Thank you gettingstronger. I do trust the Lord will always have my back. I do sometimes wonder, as you kinda stated and lillamy suggested that there might be a slight part of me that hopes he would. I know in the past I've searched for a "reason" to leave; if he would just do _____ then I could feel good about leaving. Silly, I know. In my dream I don't believe I was even upset about what was going on; it was like a yeah sure this is exactly what would happen.
Perhaps I will bring it up in therapy next week.

DoubleDragons

A lot of my friends who have divorced or who want to divorce have spoken about wishing their spouse would do something "unforgiveable" that would justify leaving the marriage. Funny, these women that I am speaking about have mostly just "fallen out of love" with their men. I think all of them would look at the hell of addiction as a perfectly valid reason and justification to leave their marriages.

Katchie

DD, I've had these feelings before, not necessarily dreams, but conscious thoughts. It was pointed out to me some time ago that I have a valid reason. I agree. I was so close to it before he went to rehab...lol. I do hear the silliness of my thinking.

DoubleDragons

I didn't mean to make you feel silly. I get that it is so much more complicated than that, Katchie! Hugs

auroraxborealis

Clearly this thread wove its way into my subconscious. I haven't had as many dreams about my X lately. I had them when we were together. He was always running late to his family functions or missing, or something. Within the past few months they have been him getting sentenced or getting into trouble, or a movie reel of his worst moments in life. Yucky.

This morning, I woke up from one where he had been sentenced to 188 years. Don't remember the specifics. His new gf was there. It was like a press conference. He looked very different. Ugh.

Stung

Well, I have the opposite problem. I keep having dreams that I'm re-married to someone new and usually includes some kind of phenomenal sex. LOL I always wake up wondering where AH was and what happened to him and why I wasn't married to him in my dream.