NearSyncope

Hi everyone,

I've been trying to give meetings a try (though they really terrify me) and I'm a little confused about something related to sponsorship. If a person has issues with alcohol and drug abuse and they want to try AA/NA... But they also want to try a different fellowship like Codependents Anonymous... Are they supposed to have only one sponsor, or more than one? I am sure I could find a sponsor who has had the same problems with pain medications and alcohol that I have, but I don't know how likely it is that I can find someone who's had the same issues with pain medications, alcohol, and codependency?And I'm not sure which of those should be prioritized when I'm looking for a sponsor?

This is a larger question that I'm even more worried about, that I know there's no easy answer for. But how do you know that the person you choose is going to be the "right" person, and safe to trust? Since I've never really had a trusting, non-abusive relationship with anybody, I'm not really confident in my ability to identify who is safe and can be safely trusted and who isn't? My therapist says there's no way to know and you just have to take chances and trust people and see how it goes, but the thought of doing that really terrifies me. I really want to get a sponsor right away because I'm so desperate for help, but at the same time I want to choose the right person? Very confused and would welcome any feedback that anybody has. Thanks.

deadlydame

Nearsyncope, I used to feel the same way and here is what i would advise you. some might disagree with me. First of, pick a sponsor as if he or she is a temporary one meaning if things don't work out, it is no big deal to break the contract and move on. Choosing a sponsor as if a temporary one will help you get the stress away from "what if this doesn't work out". if it doesnt work out, you change as simple as that. as far as finding the perfect sponsor another useless stress, find someone you are comfortable with, who has a strong program, with whom you can learn, rely on, get advice, lean on, laugh with, confide in, he or she is a foundation no matter if the guy or girl is NA or AA or CD. It doesnt matter. Addiction is addiction and it sounds to me that you fit in in various of these groups just like myself: I go to AA often but i have an NA sponsor and it works just fine with me. I am very comfortable with my sponsor. Hope this helps.

IOAA2

Hi.

Perhaps when at a meeting you can get a booklet regarding sponsors. Otherwise internet opinions are like…………..

BE WELL

Nowsthetime

I don't have one but from what I have learned here it is like shopping, try it on, if you don't like it try something else. There's no shame in changing sponsors if the one you have isn't working for you. Just be open and honest, you will find the right fit.

I am proud of you for being proactive in your recovery, asking questions and doing what needs to be done. You should be proud of yourself for taking these steps.

Fly N Buy

As far as AA is concerned you simply want someone who is qualified(has taken) the steps and understands the program.

A sponsor will not keep you sober - working the program if AA gives us a chance at staying stopped.

Find someone with several years of sobriety within the group who appears to be engaged in the program. Listen to them as they share. You probably are going to find someone who has been thru exactly what you have. It really doesn't matter - a sponsor is there to correct every facet of our lives - just to do step work with us.

The point if working the steps is to lead us to a spiritual awakening - that's what keeps us sober.

Glad you're here