well damn, that was close....
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well damn, that was close....
Got invited to a reception and a big dinner this evening. Reception was fine. Just got some cranberry juice and there wasn't even a thought.
But then at the dinner... meeting all kinds of new members of my new team... a sort of mild panic came over me to see that all of them were drinking wine or beer. ALL. OF. THEM.
There is something in me that kicks in.... subtly telling me "you're not going to be 'good enough' if you don't drink. You'll be lesser, you'll be seen as weak.... you HAVE to be one of them..."
So powerfully, for just a fleeting moment, I felt myself thinking "I'll just have a glass of wine and sip at it so that it appears I'm one of them".
Then I flagged the waiter down and said "Listen, is there any way I can get a bottle of Pellegrino over here".
"well sir, there are five kinds of reds and three kinds of whites...." gesturing to the table stacked with wine in the corner....
"No... I don't drink. I'd just like a big bottle of Pellegrino. And a glass with a lime, please".
Bullet dodged. Man, it really sucks when that crazy thinking comes out of the blue like that. Grateful to have recognized it and defaulted to my 'go to'.
SAVED BY THE PELLEGRINO.
#soberliferocks
But then at the dinner... meeting all kinds of new members of my new team... a sort of mild panic came over me to see that all of them were drinking wine or beer. ALL. OF. THEM.
There is something in me that kicks in.... subtly telling me "you're not going to be 'good enough' if you don't drink. You'll be lesser, you'll be seen as weak.... you HAVE to be one of them..."
So powerfully, for just a fleeting moment, I felt myself thinking "I'll just have a glass of wine and sip at it so that it appears I'm one of them".
Then I flagged the waiter down and said "Listen, is there any way I can get a bottle of Pellegrino over here".
"well sir, there are five kinds of reds and three kinds of whites...." gesturing to the table stacked with wine in the corner....
"No... I don't drink. I'd just like a big bottle of Pellegrino. And a glass with a lime, please".
Bullet dodged. Man, it really sucks when that crazy thinking comes out of the blue like that. Grateful to have recognized it and defaulted to my 'go to'.
SAVED BY THE PELLEGRINO.
#soberliferocks
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Thanks, Dee....
It does get easier. This panic moment only lasted a moment.... and once I'd ordered my water, I let it go entirely. Had a really good time and conducted business with greater lucidity than I have in many years.
Smiled and laughed and made some new friends and talked freely and never gave it another thought - but in that brief fleeting moment, there was a scary actual consideration given to having that wine.
It does get easier. This panic moment only lasted a moment.... and once I'd ordered my water, I let it go entirely. Had a really good time and conducted business with greater lucidity than I have in many years.
Smiled and laughed and made some new friends and talked freely and never gave it another thought - but in that brief fleeting moment, there was a scary actual consideration given to having that wine.
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It's moments like this that remind me why I keep my head in recovery every day. Thank you, Dee.... and SR admins and whoever invented this place and keeps it going and all of you who come here....
Without the support of these forums - it would be so much harder to keep fresh in my mind why I choose sobriety and not make a rash choice that will lead me back down the road of despair.
Without the support of these forums - it would be so much harder to keep fresh in my mind why I choose sobriety and not make a rash choice that will lead me back down the road of despair.
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Thanks FreeOwl- I was at a work dinner tonight too. 3 or 4 bottles consumed by 5 people (mostly 2 of them) I was tempted and wondered if they questioned why I've changed. Historically I would have been drinking too! No one makes a comment and I know i have nothing to fear or regret at our early morning meeting.
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Good job at ordering the sparkling water instead of the wine! I'm just getting started on my sobriety, and hearing your story has inspired me. I'm most afraid of being in situations where other people are drinking, that I won't have the self control to say no - especially around those who I've drank with before. Thanks for posting.
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Great post FreeOwl, yes that was one of my concerns earlier i.e. "what other people will say" some have fleetingly said "you not drinking?" and I said no "off it for a break.... giving the body a clean out" nothing else said, end of subject. NOW I DONT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY, ITS MY BODY AND ITS UNDER REPAIR. I'M HAPPY NOW.
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FreeOwl,
Good job. Just one thing to note. I'm willing to bet no one there noticed or cared if you drank or not. No one.
I've never tried Pellegrino. I always thought, what a waste of money. Bring me a bottle of wine. Next time out, I'm going to give that a try instead of club soda.
Good job. Just one thing to note. I'm willing to bet no one there noticed or cared if you drank or not. No one.
I've never tried Pellegrino. I always thought, what a waste of money. Bring me a bottle of wine. Next time out, I'm going to give that a try instead of club soda.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Pellegrino makes the best adult soft drink in the world -- Chinotto. Tumble ice into a glass along with plenty of lime or lemon slices then pour your tiny Chinotto. Sip and savour.
Chinotto gets me over 6pm and other drinking times with it's citrusy cola taste without the high sugar and caffeine of other drinks.
Chinotto gets me over 6pm and other drinking times with it's citrusy cola taste without the high sugar and caffeine of other drinks.
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ya know, I wonder how many in that group were envious and thinking, "I wish I had the courage to be like that guy and not drink just to fit in." Be a leader, not a follower.
As for pellegrino, I finally got my wife to start drinking it without being prompted. She now drinks pomegranate juice with pellegrino now instead of straight pom juice.
Could be an early spring.
Well done Free...
As for pellegrino, I finally got my wife to start drinking it without being prompted. She now drinks pomegranate juice with pellegrino now instead of straight pom juice.
Could be an early spring.
Well done Free...
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Originally Posted by goose333 
FreeOwl,
Good job. Just one thing to note. I'm willing to bet no one there noticed or cared if you drank or not. No one.
I've never tried Pellegrino. I always thought, what a waste of money. Bring me a bottle of wine. Next time out, I'm going to give that a try instead of club soda.
Good job. Just one thing to note. I'm willing to bet no one there noticed or cared if you drank or not. No one.
I've never tried Pellegrino. I always thought, what a waste of money. Bring me a bottle of wine. Next time out, I'm going to give that a try instead of club soda.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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thanks all for the encouragement.
More and more, I respond to my inner "what will people think" with "Who cares.... if they think you lesser for being healthy, then eff them."
Not one person made a single comment to me about drinking. One guy did ask what I was doing afterward, because a bunch of them were going to a whiskey bar after the dinner. When I replied that I'd probably be heading back to the hotel to catch up on some work and get to bed at a reasonable hour, I noticed the fleeting-est glance of that guy's eyes down at my pellegrino.... but he didn't say a word.
I also noticed that guy had several extra pounds around the middle and looked really tired. I'm in my early 40's now.... and I want to live actively well into my 80s-90s...... alcohol takes a toll on people and I see it all around me. The stressful "professional" life, work demands, coupled with alcohol do not do any favors to healthy living.
So, I do respond to my inner AV self talk with statements like "I am a LEADER, not a follower. If anything, I am not 'not good enough' but rather am 'standing out' with another way."
To heck with what other people think..... I FEEL good.... and I will be there for my loved ones more fully, living my life with greater awareness....
Waiter!!! A Pellegrino and lime, please..... (or if they don't have that, cranberry juice).
More and more, I respond to my inner "what will people think" with "Who cares.... if they think you lesser for being healthy, then eff them."
Not one person made a single comment to me about drinking. One guy did ask what I was doing afterward, because a bunch of them were going to a whiskey bar after the dinner. When I replied that I'd probably be heading back to the hotel to catch up on some work and get to bed at a reasonable hour, I noticed the fleeting-est glance of that guy's eyes down at my pellegrino.... but he didn't say a word.
I also noticed that guy had several extra pounds around the middle and looked really tired. I'm in my early 40's now.... and I want to live actively well into my 80s-90s...... alcohol takes a toll on people and I see it all around me. The stressful "professional" life, work demands, coupled with alcohol do not do any favors to healthy living.
So, I do respond to my inner AV self talk with statements like "I am a LEADER, not a follower. If anything, I am not 'not good enough' but rather am 'standing out' with another way."
To heck with what other people think..... I FEEL good.... and I will be there for my loved ones more fully, living my life with greater awareness....
Waiter!!! A Pellegrino and lime, please..... (or if they don't have that, cranberry juice).
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