tonib77

I was watching online where it says a alcoholic can go back to drinking in moderation... I truly disagree.. not even a sip. Any views on this theory... I tried to go back an look what happened to me.

Fluffer

Well, that is certainly the consensus here and with most alcohol dependent persons. Still, there are a small minority that claim to be successful at moderating. But usually that's a dead end for most of us.

tonib77

Yes It took me a long time but I realize I can not have just 1

SoberLeigh

Nor can I.

Fluffer

Well, then, best you make a plan to become a non-drinker and stick to it! You'll get lots of support here! Welcome!

Jsbodhi

Never just one, even 7 isn't enough

Esspee

My father was an alcoholic and can now have a single beer once in a blue moon. But I think he is the hugest of exceptions. His drinking and gambling addictions (I believe) were those of a spoilt single child who got married and had kids but didn't want the responsibility. My mother threatening to leave 'caused' him to stop gambling excessively (he still does but about £5 a week max) and once we all left home the excessive drinking stopped.

I seriously can not get my head round how he was when I was growing up (bottle whiskey a day minimum) and how he now can moderate everything. But then my older sister was drinking excessively and is now a single glass of wine on a special occasion.

I reckon if there was some way of analysing them there would be something in their 'thinking' that enables them to do this (my sisters drinking seemed to linked to having responsibility too. They're both "I know better than you" people).

I can't do that. For me it's all or nothing. If I had a single glass of wine tonight, tomorrow it would be one or two bottles. And I think for most people with an addiction that is the case too.

I'm not for one moment trying to say if I know people who can moderate after being alcoholics then people should try it. I think the negative possibilities FAR outweigh any reason to give it a try. I also question the motives of programs like the one you mention.

Esspee

Sorry, just read back and saw you said online

MelindaFlowers

This is what I always go back to with drinking in moderation:

If I were stuck on a desert island and one beer washed up on the beach I wouldn't drink it. Why? Because one beer doesn't get me buzzed. I wanted to always get intoxicated. If I couldn't get intoxicated, I had no interest in drinking.

Even if I let my imagination wander and pretend that I could drink again (in some fantasy hell) two beers would not even be tempting!

caroXO

The question I ask myself is if its worth the risk? I think about how far Ive come and all the struggles Ive experienced trying to become sober and what I went through as an addict!

Gardennerd

For me it's too unpredictable. When I tried to moderate it would work one night, then another night it would be a 3 day bender. The times I only had 2, I was really craving 5 more. It's not worth it to me. I didn't enjoy it, and when I did enjoy 5 more the results were devistating. Day 25 sober. It's great. It's almost a relief to not worry if I'm going to over do it and ruin my life by drinking before work or get fired or risk losing my wife (still working on fixing that).

crockett243

Several times in my life I've told myself I'd quit drinking, but soon after world get in the mindset that I could drink again if I just keep it in control. Well, each and every time I would overdo it once I had the opportunity. I've come to realize that it's not the taste of alcohol that I crave - it's the feeling of intoxication. So, for me, I don't really see the point in just one drink. I'm going to want another, and it's best to avoid that temptation all together.

MelindaFlowers

You know you're an alcoholic when you arrive at a party, see a few bottles of wine for six people and don't think "Thank God they have wine!" You think "Oh ****, two bottles for six people?"

If I returned from work and found three beers in the fridge (when I was drinking), I would panic. Three would only set off the intense craving for 12.

If we could drink in moderation we wouldn't be here.

Treerat66

This is so true.

Or when your party is leaving the pub and you haven't started to get a buzz yet.

Or when your father in law doesn't go for a second bottle of wine for dinner when you know he has at least 100 bottles in the cellar.

I found this sort of moderation by proxy was corrosive to relationships. As soon as I got the chance I was back to full on boozing.

Jack16

This is a good thread and I agree with so much of what's been said. Over the last few months I've come to see more and more that I just cannot drink like "normal" drinkers. I remember a while back, when drinking, a colleague invited me for a beer. I said sure. On the way there I said, "this is probably a bad idea - I've got to be up at 6 tomorrow". He said, "well just have a couple then leave". He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. And then the penny dropped for me. I understood that for him, and scores of other people it WAS that simple. Until then I'd thought that everyone had to use all their strength and will to drag themselves away from the bar. That the first drink was Russian roulette for everyone. As other people have said, when I drink I want to drink more. It's that simple. That's the crucial difference between me and those that can and do moderate. I tried to tell myself that I could moderate if my life circumstances changed but that's never proved to be true, over 20 years of drinking in all sorts of places, with different crowds, etc. Consider your own drinking history. Imagine you were reading it about someone else. And, yeah, if you, (or I) could moderate I think it's really unlikely that we'd be here posting away!

Good luck and thanks for the discussion.

hayley86

Speaking for myself, i know that I can’t moderate my drinking and i have made peace with the fact that i can't drink under any circumstances. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I picked up a drink today It would set off an unbearable desire to have more and within a short space of time I would be back to drinking the same amounts that I always did, if not worse. I found trying to moderate absolutely exhausting and I honestly find it easier to not drink at all.

KateL

It just doesn't work xxx

strategery

I also disagree about being able to go back to moderate drinking. That experiment did not work out well.

immri

I've come to the realisation that's not something I'll ever be able to do either, like others have said even if I could stop at one or two(which I cannot)I don't for the life of me see the point in one or two anything?!
Maybe some can, but not me.

Nonsensical

Why would I ever want to drink 1 beer?