Not in a good place
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: London
Posts: 39
Not in a good place
Been sober 7 weeks now after 13 years in addiction. Been through countless detoxes, rehab, programs etc. Lost everything through alcohol although I am in a stable place now the most settled I've been so why am I constantly thinking about alcohol? I despise the stuff after the damage it has caused I know if o could get away with it id most probably drink and its scaring the **** outta me never mind how ashamed I feel for thinking this way. There has been no trigger, I'm so confused and embarrassed to admit it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 396
Welcome. I have gone through a similar experience, and close to losing everything now. Determined to try AA, as I feel it's my only option now.
It's normal to get cravings after that lenth of time drinking, This is a good site to keep active on. And if you can get additional help.
It's normal to get cravings after that lenth of time drinking, This is a good site to keep active on. And if you can get additional help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
No need to feel embarrassed, Me63. Our alcoholic behaviors have been stamped on our psyches. We can, however, etch sobriety upon our hearts and souls.
Have you been truly 'embracing' sobriety? I ask because for a long time, I was simply white-knuckling it. I neither had, nor had the time for, support in early times. I feel that I was given a Grace of God moment when I decided that I would accept each sober day with gratitude and embrace each sober moment; it changed my attitude and I could begin to 'feel' a change.
do you have any support, Me?
Have you been truly 'embracing' sobriety? I ask because for a long time, I was simply white-knuckling it. I neither had, nor had the time for, support in early times. I feel that I was given a Grace of God moment when I decided that I would accept each sober day with gratitude and embrace each sober moment; it changed my attitude and I could begin to 'feel' a change.
do you have any support, Me?
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Hi ME63,
I quit about the same time as you - I'm on about 7 and a half weeks
It is hard isn't it. I'm 54 and I don't reckon I have too many "day 1's left in me.
I have tried to keep as busy as possible so as not to give myself time to dwell on it
Incidentley ME there is a thread for people who quit in January '15, there are some really inspiring people on there (they're are a lot better than me).
Be glad to see you there
Hope we both feel better soon
I quit about the same time as you - I'm on about 7 and a half weeks
It is hard isn't it. I'm 54 and I don't reckon I have too many "day 1's left in me.
I have tried to keep as busy as possible so as not to give myself time to dwell on it
Incidentley ME there is a thread for people who quit in January '15, there are some really inspiring people on there (they're are a lot better than me).
Be glad to see you there
Hope we both feel better soon
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
One of the things I have had to really work on is what I am feeling when craving alcohol and why I am feeling that way. Many times by working through that, it will help give a voice as to why you are wanting to drink. Some of it is habit, but for many of us, emotions and thoughts can be very powerful and are a major contributing factor. Just recognizing those thought patterns and emotions can be very helpful.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Me63 
...why am I constantly thinking about alcohol? I despise the stuff after the damage it has caused I know if o could get away with it id most probably drink and its scaring the **** outta me never mind how ashamed I feel for thinking this way. There has been no trigger...
It was really hard for me to grasp the fact that I could simultaneously want sobriety and want alcohol. I would commit to giving it up and then a few days later I would want a drink so bad it hurt. Then there was this battle raging in my head between wanting to drink and not wanting to drink. I seriously thought I might be going insane.
The rational thought to stay sober and the irrational impulse to drink come from different parts of the brain. The compulsion to drink arises from a part of the brain over which I have no control. None. I wish I did. I wish I could will away my compulsion to drink, but I cannot.
What I CAN do is never act on it again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: London
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
It's called addiction.
It was really hard for me to grasp the fact that I could simultaneously want sobriety and want alcohol. I would commit to giving it up and then a few days later I would want a drink so bad it hurt. Then there was this battle raging in my head between wanting to drink and not wanting to drink. I seriously thought I might be going insane.
The rational thought to stay sober and the irrational impulse to drink come from different parts of the brain. The compulsion to drink arises from a part of the brain over which I have no control. None. I wish I did. I wish I could will away my compulsion to drink, but I cannot.
What I CAN do is never act on it again.
It was really hard for me to grasp the fact that I could simultaneously want sobriety and want alcohol. I would commit to giving it up and then a few days later I would want a drink so bad it hurt. Then there was this battle raging in my head between wanting to drink and not wanting to drink. I seriously thought I might be going insane.
The rational thought to stay sober and the irrational impulse to drink come from different parts of the brain. The compulsion to drink arises from a part of the brain over which I have no control. None. I wish I did. I wish I could will away my compulsion to drink, but I cannot.
What I CAN do is never act on it again.
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