"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink."
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink."
SR's beloved Carol D. used to say this all the time. Although I was sober, I never could wrap my brain completely around it as it seemed so obvious. I think I finally have with my own experience and reading some of the recent newcomer posts here.
Some of us that have gone in and out of sobriety have not reached anywhere near a bottom (yet)--puts us in a very vulnerable place. Euphoric recall is not pretty.
The insidious part of "moderate" alcohol during these times is the anxiety is subtle--in the background. (You would never know it's there unless you have wrapped yourself around sobriety for an extended time and have felt serenity). If you continue to drink, the anxiety, of course, gets worse--all consuming-I used to compare it to a "cocaine comedown" if that helps. Then we may stop--or we may not. Relapsing over and over like this, eventually, we cross a line. And then...well, you know. You may not be able to cross back.
So I remember a while back when I was hearing about a very rainy weather report, my first thought was how badly I wish I were drinking--as nothing better than red wine with a book in a thunderstorm!
But today, with the bad weather we have, I now say.....nope. I don't want that feeling. No alcohol buzz can compare to a Sober Buzz.
If you can't see this side of things yet, please go on faith. Trust these people when they say.....
"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink." (Carol D)
Some of us that have gone in and out of sobriety have not reached anywhere near a bottom (yet)--puts us in a very vulnerable place. Euphoric recall is not pretty.
The insidious part of "moderate" alcohol during these times is the anxiety is subtle--in the background. (You would never know it's there unless you have wrapped yourself around sobriety for an extended time and have felt serenity). If you continue to drink, the anxiety, of course, gets worse--all consuming-I used to compare it to a "cocaine comedown" if that helps. Then we may stop--or we may not. Relapsing over and over like this, eventually, we cross a line. And then...well, you know. You may not be able to cross back.
So I remember a while back when I was hearing about a very rainy weather report, my first thought was how badly I wish I were drinking--as nothing better than red wine with a book in a thunderstorm!
But today, with the bad weather we have, I now say.....nope. I don't want that feeling. No alcohol buzz can compare to a Sober Buzz.
If you can't see this side of things yet, please go on faith. Trust these people when they say.....
"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink." (Carol D)
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 291
"But today, with the bad weather we have, I now say.....nope. I don't want that feeling. No alcohol buzz can compare to a Sober Buzz.
If you can't see this side of things yet, please go on faith. Trust these people when they say.....
"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink." "
You have no idea how much I want to want to be sober more than I want to drink.....it is the difference between a life fulfilled, and a 'semi-life'
I am on day 31, I have not been here in 17 or 18 years, lost count. I don't really feel anything about that number , but at the moment I am intellectually grateful that I have 31 days even if I cannot feel it. I want all the goodness that can come from staying sober, I WANT THAT SOBER BUZZ -- THAT NO ALCOHOL BUZZ CAN COMPARE TO. I am at a pivot point in my life - I know that we cannot predict the future, but I need for the alcohol consumption part of this equation to be DONE, OVER, ENDED, NOT AN OPTION, LOOK ELSEWHERE THIS DOOR IS CLOSED FOREVER-- DONE.
I came here looking for hope and strength and a pathway to sobriety, I have found that and more, but the real kicker for this and all of recovery is : I HAVE TO BUY INTO IT.....like all things that are spiritual or at least take some measure of faith...I HAVE TO BUY INTO IT.
SO TODAY I'M USING MY CURRENCY---I'M PUTTING MY MONEY DOWN--I AM BUYING IN---
I ACCEPT THAT I AM A ZEBRA, I WILL ALWAYS BE A ZEBRA, I WILL NEVER BE A HORSE....THOSE STRIPES ARE NOT COMING OFF....
Today I'm working on my Sober Buzz, I want sobriety more than I want to drink--I'm taking another path, through the door that is open to me--the road definitely less traveled by me--the SOBER ROAD....Bring it on--I'm ready for the adventure! I'm ready for the freedom...
If you can't see this side of things yet, please go on faith. Trust these people when they say.....
"You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink." "
You have no idea how much I want to want to be sober more than I want to drink.....it is the difference between a life fulfilled, and a 'semi-life'
I am on day 31, I have not been here in 17 or 18 years, lost count. I don't really feel anything about that number , but at the moment I am intellectually grateful that I have 31 days even if I cannot feel it. I want all the goodness that can come from staying sober, I WANT THAT SOBER BUZZ -- THAT NO ALCOHOL BUZZ CAN COMPARE TO. I am at a pivot point in my life - I know that we cannot predict the future, but I need for the alcohol consumption part of this equation to be DONE, OVER, ENDED, NOT AN OPTION, LOOK ELSEWHERE THIS DOOR IS CLOSED FOREVER-- DONE.
I came here looking for hope and strength and a pathway to sobriety, I have found that and more, but the real kicker for this and all of recovery is : I HAVE TO BUY INTO IT.....like all things that are spiritual or at least take some measure of faith...I HAVE TO BUY INTO IT.
SO TODAY I'M USING MY CURRENCY---I'M PUTTING MY MONEY DOWN--I AM BUYING IN---
I ACCEPT THAT I AM A ZEBRA, I WILL ALWAYS BE A ZEBRA, I WILL NEVER BE A HORSE....THOSE STRIPES ARE NOT COMING OFF....
Today I'm working on my Sober Buzz, I want sobriety more than I want to drink--I'm taking another path, through the door that is open to me--the road definitely less traveled by me--the SOBER ROAD....Bring it on--I'm ready for the adventure! I'm ready for the freedom...
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
One thing I struggled with was that the desire to drink continued long after I also really really wanted to stop. That duality confused me. I didn't understand how I could desperately want to be sober and crave a drink at the same time. I thought I was losing my mind.
What I learned on SR was that those two desires - the desire to be sober and the desire to drink again - come from very different parts of the brain. The desire to be sober comes from my rational, thinking frontal cortex and the desire to drink comes from my amygdaloid complex. It is altogether possible to have both of them firing at the same time, creating competing desires and mental dissonance - that battle that raged in my head that no one could see or hear but me.
To me, wanting to be sober more than you want to drink simply means putting your frontal cortex, your rational mind, in charge and telling that seemingly relentless urge to drink "NO".
It only seems relentless. It's plenty pesky, for sure, but it relents if you starve it long enough.
What I learned on SR was that those two desires - the desire to be sober and the desire to drink again - come from very different parts of the brain. The desire to be sober comes from my rational, thinking frontal cortex and the desire to drink comes from my amygdaloid complex. It is altogether possible to have both of them firing at the same time, creating competing desires and mental dissonance - that battle that raged in my head that no one could see or hear but me.
To me, wanting to be sober more than you want to drink simply means putting your frontal cortex, your rational mind, in charge and telling that seemingly relentless urge to drink "NO".
It only seems relentless. It's plenty pesky, for sure, but it relents if you starve it long enough.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I didnt know carol id but i know she was an amazing lady through reading past posts etc plus her links are still used here today D speaks very highly of her & rightly so i wish i did know her
Great saying i completly get it i dont want to drink i love being sober i honestly do
i want sober 100% i want drink 0%
Thank you Carol ID
Great saying i completly get it i dont want to drink i love being sober i honestly do
i want sober 100% i want drink 0%
Thank you Carol ID
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Great post and so true! At the end of this week, I will be 17 months sober and life is so much better! A funny thing is that I have been struggling with a really bad headache for the last two days (I think it is a sinus infection). I have been miserable and I haven't been sick in so long that I forgot what it feels like. So, I was just thinking, in utter amazement, how many hangovers I put myself through where I had a horrible headache and just felt like crap again and again. And yet I just continued the cycle and for what, maybe a couple of hours of a buzz before it all went south and I embarrassed myself and my husband, again and again?? When you give yourself enough sober time, the insanity of the drinking life seems unbelievable.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
I love this....the Sober Buzz! Incredibly fulfilling and REAL...nothing fake or manufactured about it.
And it really does boil down to what we want more. Simple, but not easy...especially in the early days of sobriety.
Thanks for this post, writingforlife! Good stuff!
And it really does boil down to what we want more. Simple, but not easy...especially in the early days of sobriety.
Thanks for this post, writingforlife! Good stuff!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Originally Posted by 439trish 
"
I ACCEPT THAT I AM A ZEBRA, I WILL ALWAYS BE A ZEBRA, I WILL NEVER BE A HORSE....THOSE STRIPES ARE NOT COMING OFF....
I ACCEPT THAT I AM A ZEBRA, I WILL ALWAYS BE A ZEBRA, I WILL NEVER BE A HORSE....THOSE STRIPES ARE NOT COMING OFF....
I am going to frame it and hang it in my office, and every time I look at it I will remember my commitment to sobriety and smile to myself….
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