loyalty4eva26

I been here before in this all too familiar feeling, one line after another should I take another when should I take this H to kill the comedown am I doing it to soon why do I keep putting myself in this spot I was just clean for almost a year now here I am on a two week binge basically saying this is the last night and the next I'm repeating myself living the same day over again. Where can I begin I could go way back this life is killing me daily lonely I know it's there for me but I want to remain strong for my youngings are they are for all I have and the bond I share I could never break I feel so weak n pity but if only someone knew the **** I been thru it's no excuse but it trust me it can get the best of you.

itstheone

I imagine the only thing you changed was not using,etc over this year? It is wayyy more than simply not using! Ask yourself, what did you really change over the last year? Then repeat and better luck!...

loyalty4eva26

I changed a lot got rid of a lot of people out of my life but you are right a lot of stuff still remained the same, stuff that I can not change. I've also been dealt a lot of blows no excuse at all but still they remained, I wish I could explain.

Dee74

Hi Loyalty4eva

I confused abstinence for control too...I went back to my drug of choice (alcohol in my case) and nothing had changed.

I've lost the off switch that most people have., Too much is never enough for me.

I finally accept that now and I've worked with it, and I prefer being sober and clean

I've been through hard times too - both sober and drunk, and sober is way better Loyalty

D

Notimetoloose

You did really well with a year clean.... you are not the same person that you were a year ago...you can see that now...you have too much to lose now....
Start again...you can do this.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Loyalty4eva

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave;

For me I had to accept the way things where and part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis.

Not fighting that reality anymore, made life a whole lot straight forward!!