Thatdeliveryguy

So in recovery they told me to be completely honest. So here it is 22 days sober up in smoke. With all the court orders and things they can urine test me for alcohol and it will be up to 80 hours.

I've decided I don't want anything anymore, I can't be sober. I am to stupid to have a life or anything that matters. I don't think I care about my daughter or anything or I would stop. I gues I just don't care.

So forget this, I don't know why I am posting, I am a drunken fool you all are sober or getting sober, I can't do those things forget it, just forget it, I can't do anything. Doesn't matter!

SoberLeigh

Yes, it does matter, Jeremey; you matter; it all matters; pour it all out now, please. Please don't sabotage your good work and efforts.

Dee74

There's always a yes or no choice Jeremy and today you made a bad choice.

You can still make a good choice tho by tipping out what you have left and getting an early night.

Tomorrow is a good time to think about what more you can do for your recovery.

SR is great,man - but SR alone is clearly not cutting it for you?

D

suki44883

I'm sorry you are drinking again, Jeremy. To be honest, I believe you need long-term rehab to learn how to live without alcohol. Six months minimum, but preferably a year.

I know it's not true that you don't care about your daughter. You care, you just don't know how to cope without reaching for alcohol. Long term rehab will teach you. Please do whatever it takes to get there.

Soberjoy1

Please don't quit trying! Yes, you feel hopeless right now. That's what booze does to us. Believe me, I was right there 3 nights ago. But you start again. The only failure is giving up!!

Della1968

You do have what it takes you just need to learn how to utilize it. I agree with Suki...you need to learn how to be sober and accepting of yourself.

Thatdeliveryguy

No this is hopeless the ship is sinking, I am just going to continue drinking today. I can't be normal I am not normal so forget it, I can't stop I don't know how to stop. I am ready to lose everything, I don't care anymore. I just don't care, I should stop right now I am going to regret this tomorrow..... Too drunk

Hevyn

Jeremy, We are not giving up on you - it's never going to happen. As long as you keep posting there is hope.

Gonnachange

I call ********. You're typing while drinking and I don't for a second believe that you don't care about our daughter.

Also, while there are many stories of sobriety on SR there are also many stories of people struggling with it. I'm one of them so don't write that everyone is having an easy time of it.

Let's do this. Put whatever you're drinking tonight down and start anew. I know you have many people on SR in your corner.

SoberLeigh

Think about why you are going to regret this in the morning. Because everything that you say doesn't matter does, in fact, matter.

Spacegoat

22 days won't be long coming around again from tomorrow man…

… It's just a stumble...

silentrun

I'm sorry you are hurting Jeremy. Please don't tell yourself things that aren't true. My favorite thing to do when I was drunk was beat myself up.
You can turn this around Jeremy it isn't too late.

Dee74

you wouldn't be posting here if you didn't care Jeremy.

I know the type of man you want to be.
Drinking is not the way to find him.

listen to this voice:
you can stop this right now, or keep going and end up in who knows how much trouble.

You may be drunk but you're not stupid.

Be smart, man. Be smart.

D

Mountainmanbob

that's just the booze talking
oh poor me oh poor me oh poor me another drink

facts are that it does matter -- you matter

stop deceiving yourself -- it's time to make a firm decision

you really don't wish to die in that condition -- do you ?

Bob

Della1968

Jeremy none of us are normal don't aim for that aim for getting better.

least

You only feel this way when you're drinking. That's what drinking does. Makes you feel hopeless. Pour out the rest and go to bed. Start over tomorrow when your head is clear.

Soberwolf

This

tokidoki

Jeremy, I care about you very much. I am relatively new on this site, but from the beginning, you were amongst the very few that I felt an immediate bond to. Not because of the exact same situation, but because of something much deeper---maybe because your intrinsic goodness and your obvious suffering brought out *my* humanity. TDG, you don't know me from Adam, but I must tell you that there is a messed-up (but hopefully strong) woman who will *never* stop believing in you. Please, please, please believe that you are worth *so* much.

Anna

Jeremy, you must not give up. You need to do this for yourself and your daughter.

ScottFromWI

Did you stop taking your meds again TDG? If so please call 911 so they can help. They know how to help you when these thigns happen. The rest can wait until tomorrow.