66 days sober...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
66 days sober...
Today I am 66 days sober. Felt like time to finally register...
66 days is probably the longest since my drinking career began in my mid-teens – roughly 25 years ago. My family all drank like fish, with pre dinner cocktail hour, during dinner wine and post dinner drinks the norm. I loved it! Plus I’d always been the rebellious party girl who could drink along with the boys until 5am and still get up and nail the presentation next morning and hit the gym - until suddenly I couldn’t. In my late 30s it really started to catch up with me. I’ve had a few shorter sober stints over the last few years, but the last one came to an abrupt end after my (alcoholic) father died a few years back. I adored him, and was devastated at his passing. Drinking alone to get drunk, at least a bottle of wine a night, depression and anxiety escalated and I started to hate myself, and my life and the mess I'd gotten myself into.
This time quitting drinking has been different: I really really wanted it. I holed up on my own over a long Christmas vacation with a box full of DVDs, a kitchen full of good healthy food and the ever-helpful sr as my homepage. Made myself take long gentle walks every day and took it easy on myself for a change. Started getting my groceries delivered so I could avoid the liquor aisle in the store, turned down all invites for the first month, and allowed myself to tell lots of white lies to avoid social pressure until I found my feet a little.
So!
First: a big thank-you to everyone here: all of posts with your stories, tips and positivity have been invaluable. They helped me to build what I call my “toolkit” of strategies to use for every occasion. My anxiety has subsided, I wake up feeling healthy, I'm handling life better and my confidence is coming back.
Second: I am now in what feels like a longer term project: the first month of sobriety was intense and all about not drinking “no matter what.” The second month was about coming to terms with day to day life, work and retraining my habits (swapping sitting on the sofa drinking for walking or gym or reading). Yet I feel like I need some help navigating more core changes. The stakes seem to increase to longer I am sober, and my personality and sense of self is changing. I plan to find a good therapist as I’m not an AAer, but is this phase something that y’all have just adapted to as well? It feels like a giant leap of faith to me.
What an adventure… drinking was like a pause button on 20 years of my life – so the recent restart of life is unnerving, but I’m very very grateful to have it.
66 days is probably the longest since my drinking career began in my mid-teens – roughly 25 years ago. My family all drank like fish, with pre dinner cocktail hour, during dinner wine and post dinner drinks the norm. I loved it! Plus I’d always been the rebellious party girl who could drink along with the boys until 5am and still get up and nail the presentation next morning and hit the gym - until suddenly I couldn’t. In my late 30s it really started to catch up with me. I’ve had a few shorter sober stints over the last few years, but the last one came to an abrupt end after my (alcoholic) father died a few years back. I adored him, and was devastated at his passing. Drinking alone to get drunk, at least a bottle of wine a night, depression and anxiety escalated and I started to hate myself, and my life and the mess I'd gotten myself into.
This time quitting drinking has been different: I really really wanted it. I holed up on my own over a long Christmas vacation with a box full of DVDs, a kitchen full of good healthy food and the ever-helpful sr as my homepage. Made myself take long gentle walks every day and took it easy on myself for a change. Started getting my groceries delivered so I could avoid the liquor aisle in the store, turned down all invites for the first month, and allowed myself to tell lots of white lies to avoid social pressure until I found my feet a little.
So!
First: a big thank-you to everyone here: all of posts with your stories, tips and positivity have been invaluable. They helped me to build what I call my “toolkit” of strategies to use for every occasion. My anxiety has subsided, I wake up feeling healthy, I'm handling life better and my confidence is coming back.
Second: I am now in what feels like a longer term project: the first month of sobriety was intense and all about not drinking “no matter what.” The second month was about coming to terms with day to day life, work and retraining my habits (swapping sitting on the sofa drinking for walking or gym or reading). Yet I feel like I need some help navigating more core changes. The stakes seem to increase to longer I am sober, and my personality and sense of self is changing. I plan to find a good therapist as I’m not an AAer, but is this phase something that y’all have just adapted to as well? It feels like a giant leap of faith to me.
What an adventure… drinking was like a pause button on 20 years of my life – so the recent restart of life is unnerving, but I’m very very grateful to have it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You're still very early in. It keeps getting better. I find fear to be my biggest enemy. If I can pinpoint why I feel anxious it's almost always a fear of some sort. A "what if" or a "why" or some question that really doesn't have or need an answer. Most things can be handled with acceptance of what is.
Welcome to the posting side. Well done!
Welcome to the posting side. Well done!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome to SR, Calitano; glad you found us and are now posting.
Congratulations on 66 sober days; fantastic.
I know what you mean about 'navigating core changes' and the next stage in recovery. for m, it was a peeling away of the layers that compromised my alcoholic-skin. Seeing a therapist for assistance sounds like a very positive step.
Again, welcome, Calitano.
Congratulations on 66 sober days; fantastic.
I know what you mean about 'navigating core changes' and the next stage in recovery. for m, it was a peeling away of the layers that compromised my alcoholic-skin. Seeing a therapist for assistance sounds like a very positive step.
Again, welcome, Calitano.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Welcome, Calitano.
66 days is a commendable accomplishment!
SR is a very helpful and friendly area to visit.
It's helped me through some very dark moments,
like a beacon in the night.
The people here are wonderful and very informative.
66 days is a commendable accomplishment!
SR is a very helpful and friendly area to visit.
It's helped me through some very dark moments,
like a beacon in the night.
The people here are wonderful and very informative.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Thanks all. Means a lot.
There is so much insight and sincerity here, SR is indeed a very good place to visit and hang out.
@Biminiblue, SoberLeigh: something in your posts made me twig that all anyone has is right now. So, all anyone can ever do is the right thing for right now; anxieties about future states be damned!
I'm just a young'un in recovery terms, but that's just fine for now! I hope to learn and meanwhile will keep on keeping on…
There is so much insight and sincerity here, SR is indeed a very good place to visit and hang out.
@Biminiblue, SoberLeigh: something in your posts made me twig that all anyone has is right now. So, all anyone can ever do is the right thing for right now; anxieties about future states be damned!
I'm just a young'un in recovery terms, but that's just fine for now! I hope to learn and meanwhile will keep on keeping on…
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