Sunday, sober and single
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Sunday, sober and single
This is actually a serious question even though it probably sounds silly.
What do sober single people without family close or friends (due to drinking) do on a day when nothing is going on? I'm trying to get sober and need ideas for a single female who lives in an area that has very little to do.
What do sober single people without family close or friends (due to drinking) do on a day when nothing is going on? I'm trying to get sober and need ideas for a single female who lives in an area that has very little to do.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
How about taking up an outdoor activity?
Kayaking, hiking, hook up with the local Audubon club for bird-walks, bicycling (there are probably bike clubs near you) running, book club, language classes.
Or you could volunteer at an animal shelter, nursing home, school, food bank, women's shelter, etc.
When you get out you meet people.
How about AA meetings?
Kayaking, hiking, hook up with the local Audubon club for bird-walks, bicycling (there are probably bike clubs near you) running, book club, language classes.
Or you could volunteer at an animal shelter, nursing home, school, food bank, women's shelter, etc.
When you get out you meet people.
How about AA meetings?
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Good question Sinderos for a good while i was living alone as mrs sw moved out
I attended mtns if not every day every other i went to group therapy 3 times pw i enrolled on 2 college courses (and passed) i started to volenteer and do a tea service at AA and a set up service at AA
There was of course the boring days to deal with so i started visiting good ppl who cared about me there was the hard days but i always reached out a conversation can be life saving in times of urges & cravings
What did you used to enjoy doing hobby/activity wise before the alcohol took over ?
I attended mtns if not every day every other i went to group therapy 3 times pw i enrolled on 2 college courses (and passed) i started to volenteer and do a tea service at AA and a set up service at AA
There was of course the boring days to deal with so i started visiting good ppl who cared about me there was the hard days but i always reached out a conversation can be life saving in times of urges & cravings
What did you used to enjoy doing hobby/activity wise before the alcohol took over ?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 514
That doesn't sound silly at all. I have a 16 year old so am not in the same position (although he is out more than he is in!!)
I'm getting a rescue dog (just got back from the kennels) so I can go out for walks. My son is helping run a youth led service tonight so I'm going to that. Otherwise it's cheesecake and tea while watching DVDs or playing free to play games on the computer.
I've got evening classes lined up but of course that's no help at the weekend
I'm getting a rescue dog (just got back from the kennels) so I can go out for walks. My son is helping run a youth led service tonight so I'm going to that. Otherwise it's cheesecake and tea while watching DVDs or playing free to play games on the computer.
I've got evening classes lined up but of course that's no help at the weekend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
I was a very active mother and church member. My son graduated and I divorced at the same time. Also moved to a new place at that time. I went through 10 months of extreme depression and isolation. Then in October 2010 I started drinking. It has taken over my life. I don't really know what a sober single person does. I was always sober as an adult. Wife, mother, church member. I've always been identified as "his mom, his wife, etc" I was a good person. I adore my 3 fur babies. I will check with the humane society to see if volunteering is a possibility. I know that will help fill my time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Sinderos, I'm a single male that lived in NY, but if all goes according to plan, I'll be in the same situation with nothing to do on a Sunday and not being hungover. For some odd reason, I don't think I've ever drank on the handful of non-hungover Sunday's I've had when alone at my apartment. My trigger when drinking alone was always after getting out of work or on a Saturday night since I had the luxury of not having to wake up on Sunday AM.
I think Bimini made some good suggestions, but here are some others I'm brainstorming.
-Spend a full day getting rid of stuff that's accumulated over the years (I'm not a hoarder at all and keep my apt very clean, but there's definitely expired food I can get rid of, clothing that I don't need and can give to charity, books I've read and have no need to keep, books I've bought and now have no intention to read, instruction manuals for stuff I don't have anymore, etc)
-Finally getting around to watching some shows I never did cuz I'd be too drunk or hungover. House of Cards is first on my list.
-You say you live somewhere where there's nothing to do. Theres plenty in NYC, but I'm thinking of just waking to a neighborhood I've never spent time in before and just walking around. Maybe you could drive to a town near by and just explore.
I think Bimini made some good suggestions, but here are some others I'm brainstorming.
-Spend a full day getting rid of stuff that's accumulated over the years (I'm not a hoarder at all and keep my apt very clean, but there's definitely expired food I can get rid of, clothing that I don't need and can give to charity, books I've read and have no need to keep, books I've bought and now have no intention to read, instruction manuals for stuff I don't have anymore, etc)
-Finally getting around to watching some shows I never did cuz I'd be too drunk or hungover. House of Cards is first on my list.
-You say you live somewhere where there's nothing to do. Theres plenty in NYC, but I'm thinking of just waking to a neighborhood I've never spent time in before and just walking around. Maybe you could drive to a town near by and just explore.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Sinderos 
I was a very active mother and church member. My son graduated and I divorced at the same time. Also moved to a new place at that time. I went through 10 months of extreme depression and isolation. Then in October 2010 I started drinking. It has taken over my life. I don't really know what a sober single person does. I was always sober as an adult. Wife, mother, church member. I've always been identified as "his mom, his wife, etc" I was a good person. I adore my 3 fur babies. I will check with the humane society to see if volunteering is a possibility. I know that will help fill my time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Good question Sinderos.
In the beginning, I used to take the time to either clean up the mess I made in my life or do nothing at all and just lay in bed with a pint of ice cream. That worked for about a week or so. Then I figured I better start developing a life for myself...whatever that was going to be. Beings the previous one revolved around drinking, I didn't have much to work with at first.
But that's just how I saw it. I knew I was a work in progress and that I wasn't going to just wake up the next day after quitting and have it all figured out. It took me quite awhile to just figure out what I felt like doing. I wasnt exactly an expert on identifying what I was really feeling.
It gets better and easier. Just do something...or nothing...as long as it isn't drinking and it helps get you to the next day. And then do it again.
I now know exactly what I feel like doing. Be it laundry or something fabulously fun. It doesn't really matter. I do what I feel like I need to do. It's nice to know what I need and then go do what I need. I think that's called taking care of myself. I never was very good at that before so I enjoy the heck out of that one now.
I had to become interested in life before life became interesting to me.
Keep on working through it. You will find your path!
In the beginning, I used to take the time to either clean up the mess I made in my life or do nothing at all and just lay in bed with a pint of ice cream. That worked for about a week or so. Then I figured I better start developing a life for myself...whatever that was going to be. Beings the previous one revolved around drinking, I didn't have much to work with at first.
But that's just how I saw it. I knew I was a work in progress and that I wasn't going to just wake up the next day after quitting and have it all figured out. It took me quite awhile to just figure out what I felt like doing. I wasnt exactly an expert on identifying what I was really feeling.
It gets better and easier. Just do something...or nothing...as long as it isn't drinking and it helps get you to the next day. And then do it again.
I now know exactly what I feel like doing. Be it laundry or something fabulously fun. It doesn't really matter. I do what I feel like I need to do. It's nice to know what I need and then go do what I need. I think that's called taking care of myself. I never was very good at that before so I enjoy the heck out of that one now.
I had to become interested in life before life became interesting to me.
Keep on working through it. You will find your path!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
If you were involved with church as a mother, there is nothing to stop you from being involved now. Most churches are always looking for volunteers for everything from teaching Sunday school to working their food pantries to helping with paperwork and everyrhing in between. Don't rule that out at all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
I am also sober and single. I feel when I was out drinking or in relationships, I never had any time. Now that I have time I want to use it to my advantage. I don’t like my job so I’ve been studying GMAT/GRE to try to go back to school (while also applying to new jobs). I’ve also started back at the gym. I am joining some local clubs in the neighborhood like Toastmasters to work on my public speaking. I also made a list of books I want to read. Basically I am trying to take care of myself/work on self-improvement.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
AA meetings are a great way to stay sober and be among people who understand us. In my area I can easily go to 4 meetings a day within 6 miles. Urban areas have that many and more.
Meetings and meetings after the meeting are great for learning and good for our health because they help us stop isolating.
BE WELL
AA meetings are a great way to stay sober and be among people who understand us. In my area I can easily go to 4 meetings a day within 6 miles. Urban areas have that many and more.
Meetings and meetings after the meeting are great for learning and good for our health because they help us stop isolating.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
I am sober and single as well. I have my children today but this evening will be rough after their mom picks them up. As a newly sober guy I will probably work out, then read a book till bedtime. If I was a big time extrovert I would probably be at lots of meetings to meet people. It has been kinda tricky becoming single and sober simultaneously, sort of struggling to fill my down time, but it is a part of the self discovery at this crossroads.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Sober and single is perfect for me. I love not having the stress. The week I don't have my son, I just spend the time as I wish. Learning to know myself and fall in love with who I am is priority1.
Then someday, if I ever meet someone, it will be to complement me, not to complete me. Voila!
Then someday, if I ever meet someone, it will be to complement me, not to complete me. Voila!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
My Sober, Single, Sunday is now drawing to a close!! 
Most Sundays I go for a nice walk in the morning, buy a newspaper or take a book to my local coffee shop, watch the world go by and eventually some of the regulars will come in and I'll have some good conversations with those that I've met, sometimes we'll have a game of chess and the morning gives way to the afternoon.
Sunday for me also includes some me time, I get creative in the kitchen, try out new recipes, get some housework done, get things in order for the new week ahead at work.
Today I attended an ice hockey game where I met some of the regulars that also attend games, there was plenty of Sober fun to be had, nothing like a common interest or hobby to fill time.
Now it's plenty of green tea and some TV before bedtime, leading to a hangover free Monday morning at work!!
Most Sundays I go for a nice walk in the morning, buy a newspaper or take a book to my local coffee shop, watch the world go by and eventually some of the regulars will come in and I'll have some good conversations with those that I've met, sometimes we'll have a game of chess and the morning gives way to the afternoon.
Sunday for me also includes some me time, I get creative in the kitchen, try out new recipes, get some housework done, get things in order for the new week ahead at work.
Today I attended an ice hockey game where I met some of the regulars that also attend games, there was plenty of Sober fun to be had, nothing like a common interest or hobby to fill time.
Now it's plenty of green tea and some TV before bedtime, leading to a hangover free Monday morning at work!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
My sober single weekend included a planning meeting for a community group I volunteer with, an AA meeting, agility class with my puppy, a long bath with Epsom salt, another meeting (at which I picked up a chip & got to share), a great movie as I curled up in front of the stove, a walk with the pup, a giant and amazing salad, and now I'm going to go look at a property that I might purchase...
I'm at six months, and find that I have no problem filling my time, now. My alcohol problems had accelerated after my kids were grown & gone. I had spent my whole life nurturing a family. It has been a challenge to grow into what makes me happy...
I'm very involved as a volunteer in my community. I work a regular job, so with those time commitments, my life feels full.
I'm at six months, and find that I have no problem filling my time, now. My alcohol problems had accelerated after my kids were grown & gone. I had spent my whole life nurturing a family. It has been a challenge to grow into what makes me happy...
I'm very involved as a volunteer in my community. I work a regular job, so with those time commitments, my life feels full.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
