lazydaisy67

Hi, nice to find a forum. Not sure how much I will be able to contribute, but I've already read some threads and will read more in the future, I'm sure.

Just dealing with a teen daughter that has been out of control for a long time. Got her into a teen rehab program at the beginning of November of last year and she was making some really wonderful changes for herself. She graduated, we brought her home and three days later she left the house with the first boy who paid 3 minutes of attention to her, moved out in a huff, and is now posting pictures of herself using on Facebook.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like she had died. Then I got angry. Now I'm in the indifferent stage. She's got a really long and hard life ahead of her and it's so sad for me to think about. I see pictures of the girls in her senior class and I think "Wow, wouldn't it be nice if my daughter was clean and sober and had ambition to do something positive with her life?" Can't help it, that's what I think.

Anyway, glad to find this forum.

CodeJob

Welcome Lazy Daisy!

I'm so glad you posted. im so sorry to hear she relapsed mere days from rehab.

Do you have support for you? A counselor or Al Anon or Celebrate Recovery?

lazydaisy67

No, I haven't gone to Alanon. I don't know what the point is, I guess. She moved out, she's not in contact with us. She just turned 18 on the 15th and is eager to remind me that she's an adult now, so she will make her own choices. I can't do anything for her.

SparkleKitty

Living with an active addict can have long-lasting, devastating effects on all family dynamics -- Al-Anon isn't just for those who live with an addict, but for those who love them. Mostly, Al-Anon is for you, a place for real world, face-to-face support from a community that understands exactly where you've been and what you're going through.

honeypig

Welcome, Lazydaisy--I'm glad you've found your way to SR. There's a lot of help and hope here. The more you can read here, the more you'll learn. Make sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page, too--they're full of great info. This is an example of what you'll find there: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

I'd like to second what others have said about Alanon not being for or about the alcoholic/addict. It's for us, the family that has lived w/the insanity and have become just as sick in our own way, whether or not the A is still using or even still in our life. I've found Alanon and SR to be a powerful combo for my own recovery; so might you.

Either way, glad you're here and I hope you find acceptance and healing.

CodeJob

Hello Daisy,

Here is a link to Al Anon's national site. It is worth checking out. Particularly if you can find one focused on parents of addicts. The best meeting I ever attended was one for parents. They will get your pain, your grief, your indifference and your anger.

http://www.al-anon.org/

But please stick around here too!

dandylion

lazydaisy....as much as they love to scream "I'm and Adult"....they will get around to pushing every button that they can to still be dependent on you and get you to enable them...or, try to scapegoat you for their own responsibilities and behavior.

LOL!...if she wants to be "an adult" so bad...why not treat her like an adult. She needs to find out what that is all about, anyway. Better sooner than later.

I know, all too well, that this is harder on the parents than the kids. This road is too hard for you to walk alone...

I cannot encourage you enough to get support and understanding for yourself....

dandylion