Day 1, wines gone down the sink again...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 70
Day 1, wines gone down the sink again...
How many times have I poured it away? Too many 😥
But I'm drinking 1-2 bottles of wine every night now, getting blackouts, not remembering whole conversations, losing hours every night, had a rare night out last weekend and fell over outside the pub, remember nothing of it, just had an injury the next day 😳
I must be so embarrassing, so irritating, I hate it.
I want to change, I can't remember the last time I did not drink for a day.
Day one.
I'll report back later if I made it, I have no idea how I will fall asleep tonight?
Any tips welcome!
But I'm drinking 1-2 bottles of wine every night now, getting blackouts, not remembering whole conversations, losing hours every night, had a rare night out last weekend and fell over outside the pub, remember nothing of it, just had an injury the next day 😳
I must be so embarrassing, so irritating, I hate it.
I want to change, I can't remember the last time I did not drink for a day.
Day one.
I'll report back later if I made it, I have no idea how I will fall asleep tonight?
Any tips welcome!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome back, Ludo, to SR.
Blackouts and falls are very frightening. Glad that you have decided to address and stop your drinking; pouring out the alcohol is a great start.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking? Is there anyone with you while you are detoxing?
Blackouts and falls are very frightening. Glad that you have decided to address and stop your drinking; pouring out the alcohol is a great start.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking? Is there anyone with you while you are detoxing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 70
My husband knows I'm doing it, I read that it can be dangerous to just stop suddenly, is there anything I need to watch out for? I don't drink during the day but normally start about 5.30-6.00 and drink for up to 6 hours or until I pass out. Sometimes I pass out, then wake up and carry on throughout the evening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 425
Hi Ludo
Know what you are going through, have been there far too many times!!! I'm not going to go on & on & say don't drink, you know that already.. Day 1 is tough, the only way I could get through it was to keep myself busy not listen to what was going on in my head, the withdrawal symptoms were still there but not heightened by me thinking about them!! Get plenty of water down you, green tea seems to help, ginger for the nausea & plenty of vits.. Obviously if it becomes too much call your Doc..... Sleep is a different kettle of fish, the first couple of nights are always hard, just make sure you have plenty of water next to you.... Wishing you well Ludo, once you get day 1 under your belt that will encourage you to carry on...
Know what you are going through, have been there far too many times!!! I'm not going to go on & on & say don't drink, you know that already.. Day 1 is tough, the only way I could get through it was to keep myself busy not listen to what was going on in my head, the withdrawal symptoms were still there but not heightened by me thinking about them!! Get plenty of water down you, green tea seems to help, ginger for the nausea & plenty of vits.. Obviously if it becomes too much call your Doc..... Sleep is a different kettle of fish, the first couple of nights are always hard, just make sure you have plenty of water next to you.... Wishing you well Ludo, once you get day 1 under your belt that will encourage you to carry on...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Seeing a doctor is always a good idea.
Just make sure your husband keeps an eye on you. As for sleeping tonight, everyone is different, but I wouldn't count on it. If things get really bad, go to the ER.
You can do this! Rooting for you
Just make sure your husband keeps an eye on you. As for sleeping tonight, everyone is different, but I wouldn't count on it. If things get really bad, go to the ER.
You can do this! Rooting for you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
I didn't experience any serious withdrawals so I can't give any pertinent personal experience. We can't give medical advice here but would suggest that if either you or husband are at all concerned about what you are experiencing that you should seek medical advice and assistance. Always better to be safe.
Others will probably be along with their experiences.
Glad you are here, Ludo.
Others will probably be along with their experiences.
Glad you are here, Ludo.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 70
Thanks everyone, I'm still feeling pretty bad from last night so really don't want to drink at the moment.
Can't believe I let it get this bad, I was buying 12 bottles or 2 wine boxes at a time and hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs, opening a bottle on the way home and necking some while I was driving 😳
Drinking half a bottle, then swapping it for a full bottle so my husband would think I was still on the first.
Pouring red wine in a thermos and hiding it in my bedside drawer so I could carry on drinking if I said I was having an early night.
I make myself shudder just listing it, what a mess.
Can't believe I let it get this bad, I was buying 12 bottles or 2 wine boxes at a time and hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs, opening a bottle on the way home and necking some while I was driving 😳
Drinking half a bottle, then swapping it for a full bottle so my husband would think I was still on the first.
Pouring red wine in a thermos and hiding it in my bedside drawer so I could carry on drinking if I said I was having an early night.
I make myself shudder just listing it, what a mess.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by Ludo 
Thanks everyone, I'm still feeling pretty bad from last night so really don't want to drink at the moment.
Can't believe I let it get this bad, I was buying 12 bottles or 2 wine boxes at a time and hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs, opening a bottle on the way home and necking some while I was driving 😳
Drinking half a bottle, then swapping it for a full bottle so my husband would think I was still on the first.
Pouring red wine in a thermos and hiding it in my bedside drawer so I could carry on drinking if I said I was having an early night.
I make myself shudder just listing it, what a mess.
Can't believe I let it get this bad, I was buying 12 bottles or 2 wine boxes at a time and hiding them in the cupboard under the stairs, opening a bottle on the way home and necking some while I was driving 😳
Drinking half a bottle, then swapping it for a full bottle so my husband would think I was still on the first.
Pouring red wine in a thermos and hiding it in my bedside drawer so I could carry on drinking if I said I was having an early night.
I make myself shudder just listing it, what a mess.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
I so know where you're at. Did the drain thing too. I don't think I could have done it alone. I had to call AA Central and spend much of my life at meetings to get through the early days. The fellowship and wealth of member-info helped me through. Its good you put things on "paper" .... it so helps to come out of denial. God bless and keep coming back Ludo. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I started taking a melatonin/GABA/chamomile supplement to help me sleep when I was in early sobriety. Still take it many evenings now, even 20 months later -- just take one and I get a little drowsy and go to sleep, feel fine in the morning.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 4
Hi Ludo. Congrats on deciding to stop drinking. I read your comment asking about if it was dangerous to stop drinking suddenly. It really depends. It would be in your best interests to seek out a doctor and consult with them to get their opinion. If this is not your first attempt to get sober, you may do well to seek out some form of outpatient rehabilitation program. These sorts of programs are best suited to addicts who have responsibilities and duties that they need to perform in their lives and that they cannot leave for several months (as in an inpatient rehabilitation program, where you stay on the premises for several months).
Depending on where you live, these programs may or may not cost money to attend. As a Canadian citizen, these programs were free. I ended up needing an inpatient rehabilitation program that lasted 10 weeks.
It really would be in your best interest to consult with some clinician, and get a referral for psychiatric assessments. If you have an underlying mental illness, or many, a psychiatric assessment would reveal it/them. Mental illnesses are treatable, and their successful treatment can greatly aid the recovery of a drug addict (I refer to alcoholics as addicts and not as alcoholics as alcohol is a drug, just like heroin or cocaine. I find that making such a distinction serves to reinforce the common societal attitude that alcohol is not a drug, and is somehow different from illicit drugs of abuse).
I wish you the best, and if you need anyone to talk to just send me a message and I'd be glad to assist in any way that I can.
Depending on where you live, these programs may or may not cost money to attend. As a Canadian citizen, these programs were free. I ended up needing an inpatient rehabilitation program that lasted 10 weeks.
It really would be in your best interest to consult with some clinician, and get a referral for psychiatric assessments. If you have an underlying mental illness, or many, a psychiatric assessment would reveal it/them. Mental illnesses are treatable, and their successful treatment can greatly aid the recovery of a drug addict (I refer to alcoholics as addicts and not as alcoholics as alcohol is a drug, just like heroin or cocaine. I find that making such a distinction serves to reinforce the common societal attitude that alcohol is not a drug, and is somehow different from illicit drugs of abuse).
I wish you the best, and if you need anyone to talk to just send me a message and I'd be glad to assist in any way that I can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 70
I did it! 24 hours without a drink, I feel ridiculously triumphant.
I dozed on and off all night, I listened to BBC 5 Live podcast about a woman doctor called Rachel who called in to the radio show drunk, on a day that she was about to enter rehab. They followed her story on and off for 3 years where she became sober, relapsed, lost her driving licence, became sober again, volunteered in a detox centre, got her medical licence back and then after another relapse she died in her sleep leaving behind her partner and 8 year old daughter. It was extremely moving and sad.
I don't want to be controlled by alcohol anymore, I don't want to be just getting through the day, thinking all the time about the well earned drink at the end of it that turns into 8 leaving me waking up cold on the sofa at 3am, dragging myself upstairs and then waking up fully clothed in the morning.
I wanted to be normal, to moderate my drinking, to be like all those other people who drink and have fun without it turning into a car crash every time.
But I realise I can't.
It is progressive, I went to AA for a month 3 years ago when I was drinking a bottle of wine a night. Now I'm drinking 2 bottles a night, sometimes more and I'm aware of feeling shakes, sweats, horrid, horrid, horrid...
I'll get to a meeting this week. I'm drinking water, eating sensibly, I feel OK... There's no alcohol in the house, I need to avoid the shops. I feel ok.
Thanks for listening x
I dozed on and off all night, I listened to BBC 5 Live podcast about a woman doctor called Rachel who called in to the radio show drunk, on a day that she was about to enter rehab. They followed her story on and off for 3 years where she became sober, relapsed, lost her driving licence, became sober again, volunteered in a detox centre, got her medical licence back and then after another relapse she died in her sleep leaving behind her partner and 8 year old daughter. It was extremely moving and sad.
I don't want to be controlled by alcohol anymore, I don't want to be just getting through the day, thinking all the time about the well earned drink at the end of it that turns into 8 leaving me waking up cold on the sofa at 3am, dragging myself upstairs and then waking up fully clothed in the morning.
I wanted to be normal, to moderate my drinking, to be like all those other people who drink and have fun without it turning into a car crash every time.
But I realise I can't.
It is progressive, I went to AA for a month 3 years ago when I was drinking a bottle of wine a night. Now I'm drinking 2 bottles a night, sometimes more and I'm aware of feeling shakes, sweats, horrid, horrid, horrid...
I'll get to a meeting this week. I'm drinking water, eating sensibly, I feel OK... There's no alcohol in the house, I need to avoid the shops. I feel ok.
Thanks for listening x
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