Attended first face to face alanon meeting
Baby Steps
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
Attended first face to face alanon meeting
Some of you may know that I haven't been able to attend the alanon meetings close by due to that being the areas I work in so I had accepted that I wouldne be able to go to one, the other ones where at least 20 miles away and I couldn't afford it.
I've been struggling lately and a few days ago I thought i can't go on,like this focusing on him and what he has said, struggling to accept my reality, so I went to alanon website and searched for meetings close to me and what do you know there was a new meeting not too far from me but in an area I don't work in, so thought I was obviously meant to check and find this meeting. I got up early this morning and thought I'm not going to go, scared I think but something told me I needed to go so I did and I am glad I did.
I couldn't share I basically sat and cried the whole way through, I cried as soon as I sat down, what was that all about. People were sharing about what alanon has done for them and some of what they said they were living with just resonated with me. At the start of their sharing each and everyone looked at me and spoke and said your the most important person here WHAT I'm important, of course that set me off more lol.
Nobody judged me for crying like an idiot they were warm and welcoming, I got some phone numbers and the number for the helpline. People I didn't know were offering to support me any time, I just felt so blessed. I was invited for tea after and I went, I went for tea with complete strangers, never would I have done that, I felt so comfortable. I'm exhausted now though
I will definitely be their next Saturday.
I've been struggling lately and a few days ago I thought i can't go on,like this focusing on him and what he has said, struggling to accept my reality, so I went to alanon website and searched for meetings close to me and what do you know there was a new meeting not too far from me but in an area I don't work in, so thought I was obviously meant to check and find this meeting. I got up early this morning and thought I'm not going to go, scared I think but something told me I needed to go so I did and I am glad I did.
I couldn't share I basically sat and cried the whole way through, I cried as soon as I sat down, what was that all about. People were sharing about what alanon has done for them and some of what they said they were living with just resonated with me. At the start of their sharing each and everyone looked at me and spoke and said your the most important person here WHAT I'm important, of course that set me off more lol.
Nobody judged me for crying like an idiot they were warm and welcoming, I got some phone numbers and the number for the helpline. People I didn't know were offering to support me any time, I just felt so blessed. I was invited for tea after and I went, I went for tea with complete strangers, never would I have done that, I felt so comfortable. I'm exhausted now though
I will definitely be their next Saturday.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: seeking sanity
Posts: 645
Butterfly,
Don't hesitate to go to a meeting close to where you work. You will most likely be pleasantly surprised. I live in a small town and in my meeting we have people from all walks of life. Everyone is there for the same reason.
I'm glad you went to one. I know it helped me.
Don't hesitate to go to a meeting close to where you work. You will most likely be pleasantly surprised. I live in a small town and in my meeting we have people from all walks of life. Everyone is there for the same reason.
I'm glad you went to one. I know it helped me.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 112
Thank you for sharing your experience. Like you, I have struggled so much with my pending divorce. I think I too need to try an alanon meeting. I feel very alone in this mess as none of my friends or families members have shared anything like What I have experienced and have been less then understanding, in my opinion. I am sure, had I not have lived it, I wouldn't have understood either so I don't blame them.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Wow Butterfly you went to Alanon! It sounds so positive, and I can understand how tired and yet relieved you would have been by the end. You have a lot of experience to share and I'm sure you'll be able to help others as well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Originally Posted by Butterfly 
Nobody judged me for crying like an idiot
Well I can tell you this my friend, there's been more than one times when they've had to wrestle the box of tissue out of my hands. I doubt there's anyone in that room that hasn't "hogged the box" at least once.Nothing like a good cry with people who understand. You've needed this, Butterfly. I'm really glad you found them. Love you, girl.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
This is the one time when we LOVE to say, "We TOLD ya so!" I'll bet in a very short time, once you get a little more comfortable with it, you won't care where you go to meetings, as long as you can get to one.
(psst, and I told you those meetings-after-the-meeting are great, didn't I?)
(psst, and I told you those meetings-after-the-meeting are great, didn't I?)
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by Butterfly
I couldn't share I basically sat and cried the whole way through, I cried as soon as I sat down, what was that all about.
GOOD FOR YOU!
Those [YOU] are the ones who get betterest fastest!
SUPER.
The folks who try to sit through the first 5 to 10 meetings with the frozen smile face mask . . . have a harder time.
I say 5 to 10 . . . because I have NEVER seen anyone make it past 10 without the Crying Episodes. And then THEY start to get better, too.
Now me, being a Manly Man and all . . . I did (and still do from time-to-time) Peanut Butter mouth. Just sit there gagging trying to say the words. Like a dog trying to eat Peanut Butter. All the women used to try to "rescue" me. Now not so much.
Which is good, too.Again, HAPPY FOR YOU!
GET WELL(er) SOON!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Butterfly,
Last January I started attending meeting, again. I would go to 3,4 and 5 meetings a week. Finally I got into a routine of Open AA meetings Saturday night, and Sunday morning. Plus alanon meeting Tuesday and Thursday nights. It is what saved me. I went to a therapist for 3 straight months every week (prior to alanon) and it really never did anything for me. It gave me the strength to do what I had to do, in which I did.
These people are there for you, (same as the SR people) but in person!! Pick up some of the books and read the material. When you bond with someone call them, reach out to them. They are there for you!! I am so happy you reached out to help yourself!!
Last January I started attending meeting, again. I would go to 3,4 and 5 meetings a week. Finally I got into a routine of Open AA meetings Saturday night, and Sunday morning. Plus alanon meeting Tuesday and Thursday nights. It is what saved me. I went to a therapist for 3 straight months every week (prior to alanon) and it really never did anything for me. It gave me the strength to do what I had to do, in which I did.
These people are there for you, (same as the SR people) but in person!! Pick up some of the books and read the material. When you bond with someone call them, reach out to them. They are there for you!! I am so happy you reached out to help yourself!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by maia1234
Pick up some of the books and read the material.
I will never forget my first meeting--having flown out of the house, desperate and knowing I couldn't handle things alone, I landed at a Beginner's Meeting on a Sunday evening. Some kind soul had donated several books some time ago, and each meeting for several weeks, the members at this meeting had drawn straws for a book while the supply held out. Near the end of the meeting, after I did the requisite crying-thru-the-entire-meeting thing, we drew straws. Another woman won the draw, but handed me her book, saying "You look like you need this worse than I do." And of course that prompted a fresh attack of tears...but when I got home, I started reading that book and I felt a sense of peace descend over me for the first time in a very long time. I slept well that night.
Things look so much different since that night not quite 2 years ago. I am, like they say, "a grateful member of Alanon."
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