How did your life change after Recovery?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 216
How did your life change after Recovery?
Everyone in AA just talks about how their life became amazing and things changed. But, do they mean their perspective of life or just things that happened to them?
One of the reasons I decided to quit (I am on Day 21 today) is because I feel like with drinking that I can't live up to my full potential because of the hangovers ruining my days and the wine blurring my nights. I know that I want to someday have a boyfriend and a dog, and maybe go to yoga and come home to make dinner for a loved one. I want to run a 10K. I see people who have all these things that I would love, but they seem so far out of reach and I believe it is the alcohol holding everything back.
So yeah, my main question is how did your life change for the better? Everyone in AA just says how amazing things are...but they're never specific really.
One of the reasons I decided to quit (I am on Day 21 today) is because I feel like with drinking that I can't live up to my full potential because of the hangovers ruining my days and the wine blurring my nights. I know that I want to someday have a boyfriend and a dog, and maybe go to yoga and come home to make dinner for a loved one. I want to run a 10K. I see people who have all these things that I would love, but they seem so far out of reach and I believe it is the alcohol holding everything back.
So yeah, my main question is how did your life change for the better? Everyone in AA just says how amazing things are...but they're never specific really.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by chiquen81 
But, do they mean their perspective of life or just things that happened to them?
Being sober has absolutely given me a different/better/clearer perspective on this thing we call LIFE. And b/c of that new perspective, things can happen. Doors can open that we never thought possible b/c we were stuck in the bottle and the rut/depression/CRAP perspective that comes with it.
my 2 cents.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
Chiquen, I'm with you. I spend a lot of time wondering when it's going to get better.
But I also look at the people who tell me to keep coming back and I see how good their lives are and how they have changed their life and I see that there is something going on there. i want what they have, and I know if I follow the steps this can be mine.
I think this is what the 2nd step is about, coming to believe that a higher power can restore us to sanity.
It's not an easy process, but there is an answer.
But I also look at the people who tell me to keep coming back and I see how good their lives are and how they have changed their life and I see that there is something going on there. i want what they have, and I know if I follow the steps this can be mine.
I think this is what the 2nd step is about, coming to believe that a higher power can restore us to sanity.
It's not an easy process, but there is an answer.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
In early recovery, I was expecting great changes, and was disappointed when they didn't happen. The fact was, I was hoping for changes in some areas and completely blind to the changes that were actually occurring.
Now, alcohol free for over four years, there are a multitude of changes, all for the good. The biggest one: My life no longer revolves around alcohol. That's very freeing. Except now I can't blame alcohol when life takes a turn for the worse. I have to be a grownup, and deal with it.
Now, alcohol free for over four years, there are a multitude of changes, all for the good. The biggest one: My life no longer revolves around alcohol. That's very freeing. Except now I can't blame alcohol when life takes a turn for the worse. I have to be a grownup, and deal with it.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I think that what we get from life sober is opportunity to be closer to our best - whatever that may be. I too attend AA and here many talk about remarkable things happening in their lives. That's great, but it's not a guarantee - like a lottery ticket or something.
The program simply gives me an opportunity to see life in a different way - to get out of myself and understand, perhaps - how to love and have empathy for others. As alcoholics self centeredness is a common trait. As we consider others and learn how to accept who we are with all our flaws, there is a peace that we find - a serenity.
This does not mean life is a bed of roses, but regardless of what happens - I do not need to drink to hide the joy, glee, pain, sorrow or sadness that life is. Self actualization I suppose is one way to view it.
We learn to live by removing poison from the our daily equation to "cope". We smile, love and grow.
Each of us has our own experience with this.....And yes, our perspectives drastically change. Most AA'ers are not talking about stuff but the spiritual growth.
Glad your here!
The program simply gives me an opportunity to see life in a different way - to get out of myself and understand, perhaps - how to love and have empathy for others. As alcoholics self centeredness is a common trait. As we consider others and learn how to accept who we are with all our flaws, there is a peace that we find - a serenity.
This does not mean life is a bed of roses, but regardless of what happens - I do not need to drink to hide the joy, glee, pain, sorrow or sadness that life is. Self actualization I suppose is one way to view it.
We learn to live by removing poison from the our daily equation to "cope". We smile, love and grow.
Each of us has our own experience with this.....And yes, our perspectives drastically change. Most AA'ers are not talking about stuff but the spiritual growth.
Glad your here!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Some benefits cannot be tangibly quantified and those intangible ones are the ones that have meant the most to me in sobriety and recovery:
My energy levels have improved greatly. Active alcoholism zaps your body of energy; the alcohol itself is destructive but the 'ism' (the planning, the hiding, the guilt) is mentally depletive.
I feel as though I have healed not only physically but mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I am more present in my life and for the people who help to make it worthwhile.
I have self-respect and respect from the people in my life - a better wife, a better friend.
I have regained the care and empathy with which I lived my life before my active alcoholism. I have the clarity of mind to 'see' the struggles of others and the ability to formulate a plan to help.
I am not trapped inside of myself. When I am alone, I am content with that aloneness and not trying to find ways to get away from me.
I experience joy, sadness, disappointment but with a sense of appropriateness of the emotion and a true sense of the situation.
Keep with it, chiquen. I believe you soon understand what the AAers are saying.
My energy levels have improved greatly. Active alcoholism zaps your body of energy; the alcohol itself is destructive but the 'ism' (the planning, the hiding, the guilt) is mentally depletive.
I feel as though I have healed not only physically but mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I am more present in my life and for the people who help to make it worthwhile.
I have self-respect and respect from the people in my life - a better wife, a better friend.
I have regained the care and empathy with which I lived my life before my active alcoholism. I have the clarity of mind to 'see' the struggles of others and the ability to formulate a plan to help.
I am not trapped inside of myself. When I am alone, I am content with that aloneness and not trying to find ways to get away from me.
I experience joy, sadness, disappointment but with a sense of appropriateness of the emotion and a true sense of the situation.
Keep with it, chiquen. I believe you soon understand what the AAers are saying.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
Im with you too chicken81, waiting for "it to get better", or "to have what they have". To have serenity, peace of mind, and contention. I have experienced these but rather fleetingly, and it feels like I will never have them. I guess these are the challenges I face of walking through this experience of getting sober. I think its safe to say I've made it through the physical W/D's but these mental, psychological, and emotional after effects are equally challenging!
I "won't leave before the 'miracle' happens", but it's about time already, that sucker is late!
I "won't leave before the 'miracle' happens", but it's about time already, that sucker is late!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Originally Posted by Justincredible
Im with you too chicken81, waiting for "it to get better", or "to have what they have". To have serenity, peace of mind, and contention. I have experienced these but rather fleetingly, and it feels like I will never have them. I guess these are the challenges I face of walking through this experience of getting sober. I think its safe to say I've made it through the physical W/D's but these mental, psychological, and emotional after effects are equally challenging!
I "won't leave before the 'miracle' happens", but it's about time already, that sucker is late!
I "won't leave before the 'miracle' happens", but it's about time already, that sucker is late!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
My life is continuing to change as I become a better me. That in itself is amazing. It is also amazing to have a relationship with God. Instead of drowning myself in the bottle I am now breathing in a new life of hope, faith and love.... for myself and for others. Whatever tools you use; becoming what you were meant to be minus alcohol, drugs, etc, is something we all can look forward to. Helping someone else do that is equally amazing! Sounds Promising, doesn't it?!
It is a daily walk, a talk and a prayer. Wishing you the BEST! Congrats on your journey.................
It is a daily walk, a talk and a prayer. Wishing you the BEST! Congrats on your journey.................
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Small things at first: not cringing away from people in case I smelled of booze, being able to remember people's names. Then fewer and less intense mood swings. Started to sleep better after a YEAR!!!!! Now, much improved sense of well-being & lack of anxiety.
I'm still bad tempered, self-obsessed, lazy and a bit anti-social, however.
I'm still bad tempered, self-obsessed, lazy and a bit anti-social, however.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
last few months I truly have forgotten about drinking, no cravings thoughts nothing its like it did not exist, strange but so so good.
Running more and enjoying the total utter freedom to do what I want and when I want and be in the zone 24/7 is really priceless. taken a while to get to this point but here I am
Running more and enjoying the total utter freedom to do what I want and when I want and be in the zone 24/7 is really priceless. taken a while to get to this point but here I am
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
The way I looked at life changed which in turn, changed my life.
I don't look at it the same way I used to and I don't run from it. I don't hope and pray that a situation will change for me or because of me. I don't have that sort of power. All I can do is pray for what is supposed to be and have faith that no matter what happens, that is what is suppose to happen.
That includes every part of my life. The only thing I have control over is my own vision, how I want to look at something. If I practice gratitude and remain humble then life is much easier. When my own will, wants or ego get in the mix then the confusion, anger and discontent come back and my peace and serenity suffer, I suffer.
It takes work and I don't always accomplish this. I can be content one hour, happy I have a job and be working away and two hours later be grumpy because the person next to me is jabbering on the phone to a member and it is going on longer than my liking. I have to stop again and be grateful. Take a break, say a little prayer, breathe and I can start my day again.
It is comes down to how I want to look at it. Maybe that member was having a rough day. Maybe the employee was having a rough day. Maybe it is none of my damn business. Maybe it is NOT about me!
Even if I have a horrible day and others may agree after I tell my tale that is was a horrible day, I don't have to ever drink over it again. I can share it, pray about it, post about it and go to bed early and let it go. I can wake up the next day and start a new 24 hours and not drag that last one with me.
I look back for two reasons. To see how far I have come and to help others.
All this takes time. Don't leave before the miracle happens. Stop listening to what they are saying and start doing what they are saying. If you don't understand, ask. For me, sobriety was action and it continues to be action.
I got a sponsor because they said they did that. I got a home group because they said they did that. I started praying because they said they did that. I joined a big book meeting because they said they did that. I worked the steps because they said they did that. If they told me to stand in the corner on one leg and it helped, I would have done it! I did what they did.
I can sit around all day thinking about things, doing them is what makes the difference!
I don't look at it the same way I used to and I don't run from it. I don't hope and pray that a situation will change for me or because of me. I don't have that sort of power. All I can do is pray for what is supposed to be and have faith that no matter what happens, that is what is suppose to happen.
That includes every part of my life. The only thing I have control over is my own vision, how I want to look at something. If I practice gratitude and remain humble then life is much easier. When my own will, wants or ego get in the mix then the confusion, anger and discontent come back and my peace and serenity suffer, I suffer.
It takes work and I don't always accomplish this. I can be content one hour, happy I have a job and be working away and two hours later be grumpy because the person next to me is jabbering on the phone to a member and it is going on longer than my liking. I have to stop again and be grateful. Take a break, say a little prayer, breathe and I can start my day again.
It is comes down to how I want to look at it. Maybe that member was having a rough day. Maybe the employee was having a rough day. Maybe it is none of my damn business. Maybe it is NOT about me!
Even if I have a horrible day and others may agree after I tell my tale that is was a horrible day, I don't have to ever drink over it again. I can share it, pray about it, post about it and go to bed early and let it go. I can wake up the next day and start a new 24 hours and not drag that last one with me.
I look back for two reasons. To see how far I have come and to help others.
All this takes time. Don't leave before the miracle happens. Stop listening to what they are saying and start doing what they are saying. If you don't understand, ask. For me, sobriety was action and it continues to be action.
I got a sponsor because they said they did that. I got a home group because they said they did that. I started praying because they said they did that. I joined a big book meeting because they said they did that. I worked the steps because they said they did that. If they told me to stand in the corner on one leg and it helped, I would have done it! I did what they did.
I can sit around all day thinking about things, doing them is what makes the difference!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by sobermax
Small things at first: not cringing away from people in case I smelled of booze, being able to remember people's names. Then fewer and less intense mood swings. Started to sleep better after a YEAR!!!!! Now, much improved sense of well-being & lack of anxiety.
I'm still bad tempered, self-obsessed, lazy and a bit anti-social, however.
I'm still bad tempered, self-obsessed, lazy and a bit anti-social, however.
And SLEEP, Oh my goodness, it is starting to come in little increments now. Amazing for a psyiologic insomniac.
I am counting my blessings today! Never did that before.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
[QUOTE=SoberLeigh;5211910] When I am alone, I am content with that aloneness and not trying to find ways to get away from me.
I experience joy, sadness, disappointment but with a sense of appropriateness of the emotion and a true sense of the situation.
QUOTE]
Well stated SoberLeigh!
When I am by myself, I no longer feel alone
And, appropriateness is perfect - Intellect rules over emotions, we feel in a genuine manner, in a way that that is truth~
Nice post.....
I experience joy, sadness, disappointment but with a sense of appropriateness of the emotion and a true sense of the situation.
QUOTE]
Well stated SoberLeigh!
When I am by myself, I no longer feel alone
And, appropriateness is perfect - Intellect rules over emotions, we feel in a genuine manner, in a way that that is truth~
Nice post.....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
For me, the most important and/or beneficial thing I learned from AA was the serenity prayer. The profundity (I saw someone use that the other day ) of it is unquestionable. In the simplest terms, it is a survival tool for the soul or psyche.
For how unremarkable saying it may seem, if you truly understand what it is saying or attempting to convey, it becomes this remarkable and insightful acceptance of life.
Basically, things are as they are. There are things you have power over. There are things you have no power over. Power being used in a broad sense here. Knowing and accepting the difference are the keys to happiness.
How can people with virtually nothing be happy while those with plenty are sad?
We make our own happiness.
p.s. - start out with a dog first, after a year if you can take care of and clean up after a dog and still love it, you might be ready for a boyfriend.
holy cow: I forgot to hit 'send' and noticed a bunch of replies in the mean time...
) of it is unquestionable. In the simplest terms, it is a survival tool for the soul or psyche.For how unremarkable saying it may seem, if you truly understand what it is saying or attempting to convey, it becomes this remarkable and insightful acceptance of life.
Basically, things are as they are. There are things you have power over. There are things you have no power over. Power being used in a broad sense here. Knowing and accepting the difference are the keys to happiness.
How can people with virtually nothing be happy while those with plenty are sad?
We make our own happiness.
p.s. - start out with a dog first, after a year if you can take care of and clean up after a dog and still love it, you might be ready for a boyfriend.
holy cow: I forgot to hit 'send' and noticed a bunch of replies in the mean time...
Last edited by LBrain; 02-19-2015 at 01:50 PM. Reason: holy cow
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
I do not do AA but I do have a plan and WORK at my recovery. I use mainly AVRT techniques and come here everyday.
My life has changed because now I am being the person and mother I want to be and this has given me an incredible confidence. I feel cool and healthy. I don't need the booze to be myself and I feel comfortable in my own skin. My attitude is positive eventhough I am a realist and I think that attitude is everything.
Recovery has also changed me because it has taught me to live in the now and I make sure I enjoy it to the fullest in a conscious manner. I believe this is my only life and I don't want to spend it drunk or deathly hungover...
Don't get me wrong. It's not all wonderful in my life and I have issues and problems but I have taken out the alcohol element which was really toxic to me and made everything worse.
You can do anything you want and I believe your goals are attainable. It only takes you making the changes and doing it.
Thanks for this post. I read it earlier in the day and it made me really think.
I do not do AA but I do have a plan and WORK at my recovery. I use mainly AVRT techniques and come here everyday.
My life has changed because now I am being the person and mother I want to be and this has given me an incredible confidence. I feel cool and healthy. I don't need the booze to be myself and I feel comfortable in my own skin. My attitude is positive eventhough I am a realist and I think that attitude is everything.
Recovery has also changed me because it has taught me to live in the now and I make sure I enjoy it to the fullest in a conscious manner. I believe this is my only life and I don't want to spend it drunk or deathly hungover...
Don't get me wrong. It's not all wonderful in my life and I have issues and problems but I have taken out the alcohol element which was really toxic to me and made everything worse.
You can do anything you want and I believe your goals are attainable. It only takes you making the changes and doing it.
Thanks for this post. I read it earlier in the day and it made me really think.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland
Posts: 486
Originally Posted by chiquen81
I want to run a 10K.
I'm sailing across the Atlantic Ocean with friends later this year; something I could never have done when I was drinking.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
I was almost homeless, totally jobless, internetless, alone and with no tv or vehicle....irritable in sobriety, restless, discontent and full of anxiety including social anxiety--all less than less than 4 years ago.
today, I am not restless, discontent, irritable or anxious and I love where I work; I have a vehicle, internet, more tv channels than I can watch, a significant other that is wonderful to me, friends who know me and who would help me out at the drop of a hat and mostly I am okay in the world and within my own skin.
I never thought I could build a life at the age of 50 and at almost 54 with almost 4 years of sobriety, Life is truly Awesome!
today, I am not restless, discontent, irritable or anxious and I love where I work; I have a vehicle, internet, more tv channels than I can watch, a significant other that is wonderful to me, friends who know me and who would help me out at the drop of a hat and mostly I am okay in the world and within my own skin.
I never thought I could build a life at the age of 50 and at almost 54 with almost 4 years of sobriety, Life is truly Awesome!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I'm 2.5 years sober. I moved to a new country where I can be outdoors 365 days per year. I climb volcanoes, swim in the ocean, take boat rides across lakes, hike mountains, and have my own jeep. I am 25 lbs lighter. My bills are paid and I have a good job. I have a girlfriend and social companions. I am healthy and have a nice relationship with my family. I am excited about my future. In short, my life is not only manageable but also very enjoyable.
I had none of these things on Day 21. All I had was the will to stay sober.
I had none of these things on Day 21. All I had was the will to stay sober.
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