OT feeling stressed
OT feeling stressed
I work for an extremely high profile organisation, for a manager who I am quite sure (along with being a genius) has some sort of personality disorder.
I was new to this organisation last year, and within 3 months my RAH's drinking escalated beyond all imagining, and as many of you know this time included multiple hospital admissions, suicide attempts and all other sorts of traumatic incidents.
My manager was the only person who was aware my RAH had a 'breakdown' (as one day I was contacted my police whilst at work after a suicide attempt). She knew he was in 'hospital'. Never once did she ask how he was or how I was. Weird. But whatever.
Now she wants me to take the lead on a mental health initiative at work. Which is a great opportunity, BUT is all a bit raw for me. The intuitive is going to be very personalised, holistic in its approach and will touch on all elements and facets of mental health, including suicide and addictions.
This is a HIGH performance, HIGH pressure work environment. Feelings are NOT ok here. Being the absolute professional is the only acceptable way of being.
Yet this is going to be quite triggering for me, and the more I'm running with this, the more my anxiety of growing. Its just too personal for me. I have to meet with our Lead Partner, my PD'erd manager and a high profile writer/ media personality in Australia who has survived a long history of HI and suicide attempts. He's going to be talking with our staff. Ive listened to some of his 'stuff' and its very triggering for me. I'm REALLY worried about controlling my reactions in this meeting.
The business is taking the traditional approach - focussing on those siffering with MH issues. I want to say "what about our staff who are SUPPORTING family and spouses who have MH issues. They are just as important. Their stress has just as much impact on our business as those employees who directly suffer. What about THEM"?? I think this is important...but I need to keep myself calm.
Nothing to respond to here....this is the only place I can get this feeling out.
I'll do it, get on with the job, focus on what positive impact I might have on others by leading this project. Deep breath Jarp....
I was new to this organisation last year, and within 3 months my RAH's drinking escalated beyond all imagining, and as many of you know this time included multiple hospital admissions, suicide attempts and all other sorts of traumatic incidents.
My manager was the only person who was aware my RAH had a 'breakdown' (as one day I was contacted my police whilst at work after a suicide attempt). She knew he was in 'hospital'. Never once did she ask how he was or how I was. Weird. But whatever.
Now she wants me to take the lead on a mental health initiative at work. Which is a great opportunity, BUT is all a bit raw for me. The intuitive is going to be very personalised, holistic in its approach and will touch on all elements and facets of mental health, including suicide and addictions.
This is a HIGH performance, HIGH pressure work environment. Feelings are NOT ok here. Being the absolute professional is the only acceptable way of being.
Yet this is going to be quite triggering for me, and the more I'm running with this, the more my anxiety of growing. Its just too personal for me. I have to meet with our Lead Partner, my PD'erd manager and a high profile writer/ media personality in Australia who has survived a long history of HI and suicide attempts. He's going to be talking with our staff. Ive listened to some of his 'stuff' and its very triggering for me. I'm REALLY worried about controlling my reactions in this meeting.
The business is taking the traditional approach - focussing on those siffering with MH issues. I want to say "what about our staff who are SUPPORTING family and spouses who have MH issues. They are just as important. Their stress has just as much impact on our business as those employees who directly suffer. What about THEM"?? I think this is important...but I need to keep myself calm.
Nothing to respond to here....this is the only place I can get this feeling out.
I'll do it, get on with the job, focus on what positive impact I might have on others by leading this project. Deep breath Jarp....
Jarp your organisation will have free counselling sessions. I used them myself to sort a few issues when I worked for a big miner. Would it be worthwhile to talk to a counsellor first about preparing yourself for this assignment, and also debriefing?
Definitely do not be shy about asking for help and support - often companies who have to put their staff in situations like yours will have counselling in place, as FeelingGreat suggested.
However you deal with the situation, I wish you all the best and good luck on the project.
However you deal with the situation, I wish you all the best and good luck on the project.
Awkward is OK--I think it's a great idea. You might come up with some strategies that will help others in your organization who might be dealing with the same issues (without your knowledge).
hi Jarp, as it happened, I felt comfortable in telling my manager that I was struggling with my emotions over the suicide of a young man I knew, and thought a few sessions would help me. I didn't tell everyone about it, but I was comfortable if someone knew. Later people who were struggling themselves actually came to me and asked whether it helped and I was happy to tell them it did.
Your manager knows about your recent past, and to tell to her you've decided that a couple of sessions would help you perform this task better would be well within good corporate practice (proactively managing your performance). Not that you have to tell her anything, but it's not a shameful secret either.
Please don't let the 'awkward' part deter you. We're not talking psychoanalysis here, but short term counselling get you through a crisis, or sort out a problem.
Your manager knows about your recent past, and to tell to her you've decided that a couple of sessions would help you perform this task better would be well within good corporate practice (proactively managing your performance). Not that you have to tell her anything, but it's not a shameful secret either.
Please don't let the 'awkward' part deter you. We're not talking psychoanalysis here, but short term counselling get you through a crisis, or sort out a problem.
Even starting some sort of meditation practice to help ground you prior to and during your work might be beneficial. If only I could get it work for sleep. That would be fantastic (says she who is posting at 3am from bed).
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)