Small Steps - Small Victories
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 68
Small Steps - Small Victories
Hi guys,
I wanted to share a short anecdote from my day today that I consider a small victory on my road to sobriety. I invite anyone who would also like to share small (or even large!) victories or milestones as well. I would like very much to read them - I've found that reading and posting on these forums has helped me so much.
For those who I haven't met or spoken to yet, I'm almost finished my second day of being sober, after drinking every day since the beginning of December, and very heavily on a daily basis since the beginning of January.
My eating habits throughout this period have been horrible. I usually ate only one meal a day, which usually consisted of walking to the tavern down the road for a pub lunch (before going next door to the bottle shop), or getting pizza delivered. Today I managed to cook myself my first home meal in over two months
Half of me feels ridiculous for sharing such a thing as it seems so trivial, particularly since many of you have experienced what I'm going through whilst managing households, families and jobs. The other half of me however realises that to me personally it's a fairly big deal, and I'm proud.
I was at the meeting in the chat room this morning, I didn't participate, but even sitting there reading others share helps. I realised whilst reading that I hadn't eaten in a long time, and managed to force down an orange. Later on in the afternoon, it occurred to me that I really need to try to eat something with some nutritional value, so I set about my 'grand endeavour'.
It wasn't anything special, and it was difficult, but I gritted my teeth and sweated it out (literally and figuratively). Three times I had to walk away cursing in my head, and once to the bathroom to wash myself, at which point I had a bit of a sob. I got out a large frying pan, and chopped up some potatoes into slices, some onion, baby tomatoes, mushrooms, and lots of garlic, haha (I like garlic), mixed it all together and seasoned it. The chopping was challenging, I've never been a sous chef at the best of times, but my shaking hands didn't help. It took me over an hour and a half to prepare and cook, but I did it.
It was quite nice, though I think it was particularly enjoyable because I felt I had accomplished this, if that makes any sense.
Anyhow, that was my achievement for the day. Thanks for reading, as my posts sometimes do it came out longer than I intended, but the typing helps as well. I'd love to hear your 'small victories' as well.
Cheers,
Seb.
I wanted to share a short anecdote from my day today that I consider a small victory on my road to sobriety. I invite anyone who would also like to share small (or even large!) victories or milestones as well. I would like very much to read them - I've found that reading and posting on these forums has helped me so much.
For those who I haven't met or spoken to yet, I'm almost finished my second day of being sober, after drinking every day since the beginning of December, and very heavily on a daily basis since the beginning of January.
My eating habits throughout this period have been horrible. I usually ate only one meal a day, which usually consisted of walking to the tavern down the road for a pub lunch (before going next door to the bottle shop), or getting pizza delivered. Today I managed to cook myself my first home meal in over two months
Half of me feels ridiculous for sharing such a thing as it seems so trivial, particularly since many of you have experienced what I'm going through whilst managing households, families and jobs. The other half of me however realises that to me personally it's a fairly big deal, and I'm proud.
I was at the meeting in the chat room this morning, I didn't participate, but even sitting there reading others share helps. I realised whilst reading that I hadn't eaten in a long time, and managed to force down an orange. Later on in the afternoon, it occurred to me that I really need to try to eat something with some nutritional value, so I set about my 'grand endeavour'.
It wasn't anything special, and it was difficult, but I gritted my teeth and sweated it out (literally and figuratively). Three times I had to walk away cursing in my head, and once to the bathroom to wash myself, at which point I had a bit of a sob. I got out a large frying pan, and chopped up some potatoes into slices, some onion, baby tomatoes, mushrooms, and lots of garlic, haha (I like garlic), mixed it all together and seasoned it. The chopping was challenging, I've never been a sous chef at the best of times, but my shaking hands didn't help. It took me over an hour and a half to prepare and cook, but I did it.
It was quite nice, though I think it was particularly enjoyable because I felt I had accomplished this, if that makes any sense.
Anyhow, that was my achievement for the day. Thanks for reading, as my posts sometimes do it came out longer than I intended, but the typing helps as well. I'd love to hear your 'small victories' as well.
Cheers,
Seb.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
Baby steps are what it's all about, and making your first meal took many of them! Stick with it, you will soon feel much better.
Everyday that I come home from work and pour a glass of fizzy water with a splash of pomegranate juice instead of a glass of is a small victory for me.
Everyday that I come home from work and pour a glass of fizzy water with a splash of pomegranate juice instead of a glass of is a small victory for me.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Congratulations, Sebastian! 
I'm glad you're giving yourself credit for this milestone -- the return of an appetite for decent food, your ability physically and mentally to do basic self care -- I understand & appreciate how important and new those things are. Maybe this will be the start of a new interest for you.
I'm glad you're giving yourself credit for this milestone -- the return of an appetite for decent food, your ability physically and mentally to do basic self care -- I understand & appreciate how important and new those things are. Maybe this will be the start of a new interest for you.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Sebastian, that's wonderful! That is a significant achievement! Chopping is hard for me, too, and my hands don't even shake anymore! Way to steel yourself to do something truly good for yourself!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Really nice job, Seb. As Bernie said - baby steps, as we regain confidence.
I remember that, early on, I would make veggie a smoothie and would feel a huge sense of accomplishment that I had done something truly good for myself. I felt in some way that I was making reparation for the damage I had inflicted upon myself with alcohol. (I did have to add yogurt and fruit to the mix to make it palatable so I guess purists would say that it wasn't truly a veggie smoothie but it was a way to get all the broccoli, spinach and kale into my system).
Keep on, Seb. Take good care of yourself is a great step!!!!
I remember that, early on, I would make veggie a smoothie and would feel a huge sense of accomplishment that I had done something truly good for myself. I felt in some way that I was making reparation for the damage I had inflicted upon myself with alcohol. (I did have to add yogurt and fruit to the mix to make it palatable so I guess purists would say that it wasn't truly a veggie smoothie but it was a way to get all the broccoli, spinach and kale into my system).
Keep on, Seb. Take good care of yourself is a great step!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Eating properly helped me tremendously. I too barely ate while I was drinking. You'll just feel better. It helps with cravings too. Another piece of advice is to take a large B1 supplement (Thiamine). Your body can't store it and alcohol flushes any in your system out. You only get it from what you've eaten that day. Lack of it will cause nerve damage. But large doses in the first few weeks will repair it. It really makes you feel a ton better. Be warned you will feel tingly when you first start taking it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Down South, USA
Posts: 173
Sebastian, that is awesome! I remember those days when I could hardly eat - so really, that is an accomplishment!
I was in the chat meeting also - it was my first one. But, it won't be my last.
Keep doing good things for yourself!
I was in the chat meeting also - it was my first one. But, it won't be my last.
Keep doing good things for yourself!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
"When in doubt, cook or clean..."
The above quote (from someone's post that I read in those difficult first weeks) has been incredibly helpful for me. Chopping things, taking time in the supermarket to choose vegetables, even (eventually) sharing food with others - every time I cook REAL FOOD I feel whole and healthy. Cooking can be creative, it can be meditative, and - when you're done - there is something nourishing to eat.
This is one of the things that alcohol stole from me - the experience and awareness of the details, being present for something like cooking. It is funny to me, all those wine soaked nights in which I didn't have "time to cook" (???) but had time to smoke cigarettes and talk on my phone for hours, circling the room, misplacing my glass of wine. Passing out with the sour taste of wine and cigarettes in my mouth, hungry and thirsty for real food and real water.
Stuffing the empty place with poisons rather than nourishment.
So, yes, it isn't a small accomplishment. It is actually the start of a lifestyle and a way of being...congratulations...it is really important.
The above quote (from someone's post that I read in those difficult first weeks) has been incredibly helpful for me. Chopping things, taking time in the supermarket to choose vegetables, even (eventually) sharing food with others - every time I cook REAL FOOD I feel whole and healthy. Cooking can be creative, it can be meditative, and - when you're done - there is something nourishing to eat.
This is one of the things that alcohol stole from me - the experience and awareness of the details, being present for something like cooking. It is funny to me, all those wine soaked nights in which I didn't have "time to cook" (???) but had time to smoke cigarettes and talk on my phone for hours, circling the room, misplacing my glass of wine. Passing out with the sour taste of wine and cigarettes in my mouth, hungry and thirsty for real food and real water.
Stuffing the empty place with poisons rather than nourishment.
So, yes, it isn't a small accomplishment. It is actually the start of a lifestyle and a way of being...congratulations...it is really important.
For Grace
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 92
Excellent message Seb! Actually sounds pretty good as I'm a huge lover of garlic as well. My small feat for today also involves cooking. I never do it, my spouse does but today I am home early and I was left with half a chicken. I actually had to google how to roast a chicken ... I guess for starters open the damn oven and put it in. But I wanted to get the temp right and duration so I didn't screw it up. So far so good! No house fires and it isn't burnt ... what did we do before google? Heartcore you made me chuckle, SO my scene for so many years. My poor family who endured my drunken rumblings for so long. Always circling the room with a smoke in my mouth yammering away looking for the wine glass that was in my hand.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 68
Hi everyone, thank you for the messages of support, they do mean alot and even made me smile - something I haven't done often in recent months.
Good on you Bernie, pouring yourself the glass of fizzy water with juice must be pretty empowering hey, as well as reinforcing the control you've established
Thanks for the advice regarding the B1 intake Dave. I made myself breakfast this morning (also the first I've had in months), and used wholemeal bread as I read online that it has a large amount of Thiamine in it.
So this morning I woke up at around 8, though admittedly after only being able to fall asleep at around 4am and waking up five or six times throughout, and I opened up the blinds in my bedroom to let the sunlight in for the first time in maybe a few weeks. For the previous few days I've spent most of the day sitting on SR in relative darkness, as well as the weeks of drinking before that. Hopefully it's a metaphor for the light I'll be allowing back into my life from now on.
Thanks again everyone, and please continue sharing your small victories if you wish - they do help alot.
Seb.
Good on you Bernie, pouring yourself the glass of fizzy water with juice must be pretty empowering hey, as well as reinforcing the control you've established
Thanks for the advice regarding the B1 intake Dave. I made myself breakfast this morning (also the first I've had in months), and used wholemeal bread as I read online that it has a large amount of Thiamine in it.
So this morning I woke up at around 8, though admittedly after only being able to fall asleep at around 4am and waking up five or six times throughout, and I opened up the blinds in my bedroom to let the sunlight in for the first time in maybe a few weeks. For the previous few days I've spent most of the day sitting on SR in relative darkness, as well as the weeks of drinking before that. Hopefully it's a metaphor for the light I'll be allowing back into my life from now on.
Thanks again everyone, and please continue sharing your small victories if you wish - they do help alot.
Seb.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
I think this is a wonderful story, seb. Bravo to you for making yourself a nutritious meal, even though it was hard for you. You are starting to love and nurture yourself. I think it's the most important thing that a person can do. Do it some more, it will get easier. Good job.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
Seb that's fantastic! Ive been in that place before! My benders I really ate nothing except maybe some pizza. Then couldn't eat because hungover. Feels good to do normal things. Keep adding those victories up. You are doing great!
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