freetosmile

I was reading that post on how to tell if a codie is REALLY ready to recover....here's the thing, I was doing so great, ya know?

I was living and breathing recovery about a month ago. Since AH got arrested, I only made two alanon meetings and haven't been journaling or anything. I feel like I'm slacking

I've still made it a POINT to log in to SR every night and read..but I haven't had much time for analyzing my OWN behavior or learning from my codie mistakes lately...which I know I've made a few in the past couple weeks.

I know in alanon they say to just try to make 5 mins for yourself a day and then work up from there...but to be quite honest..5 min doesn't even BEGIN to cover the crap I need to think about.

Am I still doing ok?

Butterfly

Free, I think your doing great, ok so you've lapsed on your recovery a bit, but your still coming here, seeking support and offering support. Sometimes life takes over and you have to deal with what's going on.

Are there things going on for you that you don't want to think about, you say 5 minutes wouldn't even begin to cover the crap you have to think about?? How about taking the 5 minutes and see where that leads you.


Don't be so hard on,yourself your doing great. ((((((Hugs))))))

dandylion

free...I think you have to apply the principles to where you ARE at the moment.
For Pete's sake...you have had enough on your plate the past couple of weeks to choke a horse.
It seems to me that getting your physical health stabilized is a big priority, right now.

I liked your idea of taking time to meditate just before sleep.....

You are doing great...

dandylion

walkinganewpath

I feel like I've been doing a crummy job at recovery lately as well. I had been making such progress and between weather, car issues, etc I've been missing meetings and isolating myself. Also AH has been spiraling deeper - which I think does take a higher level of energy from me so maybe that's some of it?

I don't know what it is...I'm also trying to dig out. ((hugs)) I think the best we can do is recognize it and keep pushing ourselves to action.

FireSprite

You're doing just fine. Recovery is like that to some extent - you make big breakthroughs & then have periods with fewer AHA moments. There's an ebb & flow to it, ya know?

Sometimes I have to take a step back because it gets overwhelming to try to tackle too much at once. Sometimes nothing comes up IRL to challenge my recovery (aka show me my growth points) & I flounder with what I *should* be working on.

The thing is though, once you're honestly IN recovery you're never REALLY taking a break, even during those quiet times. You're still observing, categorizing, vigilant. For me, recovery is one of those things I can't "un-see" & I have to keep moving forward no matter how fast or slow the speed.

cookiesncream

Since I posted on that thread I'll speak up coming from the other side and being married to a codie. Look there is only so much energy you have to expend and you're simply tapped out. I really think that so long as you are dealing with the drama of someone in active addiction and fighting for your life that any codie behaviors can safely be forgiven. You can tell I took a lot of psych classes in college but there is a famous theory out there which you may be familiar with called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Basically fundamental needs must be met before one can progress to self actualization. To me dealing with codie issues= self actualization. You have so much on your plate right now be gentle with yourself. All in good time when you have the emotional energy.


Peace,

Cookies

freetosmile

glad to know I'm not alone in this feeling walking-

We just gotta hang in there, right? And yes, the energy levels are at an all time low for sure. I can see why yours would be too. UGH.

Good luck digging-- Guess I better grab my shovel and get back to work-

FireSprite

Coming back to add that hopeful4 has a great saying that I think you'll appreciate:

This isn't a race, it's your LIFE.

There's no official timeline to recovery Free & like others have pointed out - your plate is full; and don't forget that getting healthy is a MAJOR part of recovery.... your upcoming surgery & prepping for all it involves falls squarely into this category.

freetosmile

Ain't that the truth-- I'm gonna hang on to that quote and repeat it over and over and over..ha ha!

CodeJob

Hmm. You have been working the legal system & putting down boundaries. I'd say you have been living your recovery.

SeriousKarma

I think this is just exhaustion speaking Free. You're not putting your recovery on hold. Life is just putting you on hold for a bit. You've had one hell of a month. Give yourself some credit.

Some of the Alanon Slogans can come in handy at a time like this. (I use to think they were so corny. Now I love them.) Here's a few:

1) Keep it Simple
2) Easy Does It
3) Just For Today
4) First Things First
5) One Day At A Time

ShootingStar1

Hey, free, you are doing fine. Just fine. Right now, your AH is not at the top of the list. Your health is, and you are taking care of that and your family for when you have the surgery and just after. That's the priority.

The fact that you are not getting deep into what your AH is doing or not doing IS recovery. Your attention is on what matters: your health and your family's well being.

ShootingStar1