Day 1:
Jon
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Hollywood, CA
Posts: 89
Day 1:
It doesn't take much effort to wake up in the morning so today is just a day. The struggle that I face against myself will not be overshadowed by the surprise of people bringing me down to levels beyond absolution. I wonder what today will bring. I feel good and staying positive. A bit of nausea in the morning is understandable. This could be attributed to one reason. Anxiety levels. Drinking water and staying active is key. I'm going to try and limit computer use for an hour before break. I talked with my friend Karen last night and it was great. Even though I have given her many reasons to doubt my resolve I am glad I can count her as the rock that I need her to be. Many of my friends don't believe in me. They have left me guttural, visceral and broken, but as my old friend Robert used to tell me, this is my life. I never had great role models, no inspirations, and followed the same stupidity of the masses. I know I'm not stupid. I was not born with these drugs in my system. I wish that my friend Rick would had my back and not made it about himself when I told him about my plan to change, but I want to believe that despite the harsh realities of his responses, he's keeping me at a distance because he doesn't want to feel responsible for me spiraling out of control. I will always try and end this with a positive note saying. I love you Jon, and no matter what you matter in this world. People care about you. Love and be honest. Live life with truth and be blessed with faith in yourself.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Jon, hope today ends well. I think you're right about friends wanting to keep their distance because they're afraid of failure.
In the end, what ever the support, you're the only one you need to make healthy decisions.
In the end, what ever the support, you're the only one you need to make healthy decisions.
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