So strange
Huh?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 474
So strange
I just purposefully downloaded a game I used to play on my iPhone when I was in my worst drinking etc phase. There's this one theme tune on it that, whenever I think of drinking again, I hear it in my mind & all the memories come back and the deep nothingness I was in at the time comes to the forefront, and I remember why I quit.
Nothing in particular happened in regard to that theme tune, so it must have just worn a groove in my brain for whatever reason.
I played many games on my phone during my drinking time, and now only play a couple of the same ones -- I deleted the rest to avoid any possibility of "fond memories" coming back.
Anyway I was just playing Scramble with Friends, and an ad for the aforementioned game came up. I decided I wanted to see what would happen in my mind to hear that tune again... Would I be able to separate myself and enjoy the game again, like I did before? Or was the association too strong? (The game is Gems with Friends, for the iPhone, if anyone is interested)
So I downloaded it again, and played approximately 1.2 rounds. The particular theme tune didn't come on, but a different one did, one I recognized but that hadn't worn as strong of a groove. And that was enough.
I was back in the backyard, drinking, cold, chain smoking, so full of myself, yet so empty, and I could smell or taste...something familiar. The beer I drank, or maybe it was dryer sheets from the blanket I would huddle in...I honestly can't place it, I'm sure it will come to me.
At any rate, I began to feel physically nauseated. No exaggeration -- I made the "bitter taste in my mouth" face, my stomach flip-flopped, and I kept swallowing uncomfortably.
So I deleted the game from my phone. Again.
Guess I'll just stick with Scramble.
Nothing in particular happened in regard to that theme tune, so it must have just worn a groove in my brain for whatever reason.
I played many games on my phone during my drinking time, and now only play a couple of the same ones -- I deleted the rest to avoid any possibility of "fond memories" coming back.
Anyway I was just playing Scramble with Friends, and an ad for the aforementioned game came up. I decided I wanted to see what would happen in my mind to hear that tune again... Would I be able to separate myself and enjoy the game again, like I did before? Or was the association too strong? (The game is Gems with Friends, for the iPhone, if anyone is interested)
So I downloaded it again, and played approximately 1.2 rounds. The particular theme tune didn't come on, but a different one did, one I recognized but that hadn't worn as strong of a groove. And that was enough.
I was back in the backyard, drinking, cold, chain smoking, so full of myself, yet so empty, and I could smell or taste...something familiar. The beer I drank, or maybe it was dryer sheets from the blanket I would huddle in...I honestly can't place it, I'm sure it will come to me.
At any rate, I began to feel physically nauseated. No exaggeration -- I made the "bitter taste in my mouth" face, my stomach flip-flopped, and I kept swallowing uncomfortably.
So I deleted the game from my phone. Again.
Guess I'll just stick with Scramble.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
Good for you for getting rid of it. I have similar associations with certain popular songs from different unhappy times in my life when I was working the kind of job where you hear a loop of music played all day long. I have to turn the music off or get away from it when it starts or get pulled right back into those old emotions. Something to keep in your back pocket if your AV ever needs to be shut down.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
