Mind games
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 39
Mind games
Today I have now completed 15 days of being sober. It is hard for me to remember when I have gone this long being sober. Let alone being up at midnight and sober. I remember reading through the forums early on and readings someones post about how life is so much better sober. This is something I have been thinking about while embracing this new path. It has helped! When I was drinking non-stop, my thought process was always come home from work get drunk, rinse, repeat. When ever I had things to do outside of the house I would always put them off because I could do chores around the house while drunk. I was always smart about drinking and driving and never did that. I learned that lesson early in life (21) when I could not remember getting home but knowing I drank. Never did that again.
In just the last two weeks I find myself wanting to go back out in to the world and see what it has to offer. I signed back up to play hockey. I haven't played in 5 years, but again put it off because I would rather be at home. I find myself being more engaging with my son. I am playing with him more, asking if he wants to go to the park or just plain get out of the house. I feel bad for how I treated him. I was so selfish. I am not sure if my wife has caught on yet that I have not been drinking, but things have been better with her as well. She has picked up on the fact that I am doing more chores, keeping the house cleaner and getting things done that I have been putting off. I am sure she knows something is up, but maybe doesn't want to stir the pot. I have not told her what I am doing, I always felt that if i admitted to her that I had a problem that I would be letting her down. Something I know I need to get over.
The past couple of days I find myself thinking about alcohol more. I start to think about things, my mind wanders and I start thinking about compromises. Things like, 'You have gone two great weeks without a beer, whats just one' or ' maybe just leave the drinking when you go out for dinner or special occasions just don't drink at home.' I am happy that I have not given in to these thoughts, I am trying to stay focused on the how positive everything has been lately. I keep thinking how what I read a couple of weeks ago is so true. Sober life is amazing! I guess this is just part of the process and me making that conscious effort to say NO. Does this type of thinking eventually become less and less? Is this a battle that I will constantly be facing? Maybe it will be a constant battle but will I ever win the war?
I just wanted to rant and get some of these things out there. Better to talk about things. It is nice to be able to come here and post this stuff, read this stuff and see all the support from a great community! Thanks for letting me be a part of it.
Here to another sober evening!
In just the last two weeks I find myself wanting to go back out in to the world and see what it has to offer. I signed back up to play hockey. I haven't played in 5 years, but again put it off because I would rather be at home. I find myself being more engaging with my son. I am playing with him more, asking if he wants to go to the park or just plain get out of the house. I feel bad for how I treated him. I was so selfish. I am not sure if my wife has caught on yet that I have not been drinking, but things have been better with her as well. She has picked up on the fact that I am doing more chores, keeping the house cleaner and getting things done that I have been putting off. I am sure she knows something is up, but maybe doesn't want to stir the pot. I have not told her what I am doing, I always felt that if i admitted to her that I had a problem that I would be letting her down. Something I know I need to get over.
The past couple of days I find myself thinking about alcohol more. I start to think about things, my mind wanders and I start thinking about compromises. Things like, 'You have gone two great weeks without a beer, whats just one' or ' maybe just leave the drinking when you go out for dinner or special occasions just don't drink at home.' I am happy that I have not given in to these thoughts, I am trying to stay focused on the how positive everything has been lately. I keep thinking how what I read a couple of weeks ago is so true. Sober life is amazing! I guess this is just part of the process and me making that conscious effort to say NO. Does this type of thinking eventually become less and less? Is this a battle that I will constantly be facing? Maybe it will be a constant battle but will I ever win the war?
I just wanted to rant and get some of these things out there. Better to talk about things. It is nice to be able to come here and post this stuff, read this stuff and see all the support from a great community! Thanks for letting me be a part of it.
Here to another sober evening!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 514
Very huge congratulations on what you've achieved. You have turned your life round amazingly. I have a sneaking suspicion your wife knows exactly what was going on before and is currently jumping with joy on the inside.
You have seen so so many improvements in your life to use as a club to batter down the voice tempting you.
Very very well done
You have seen so so many improvements in your life to use as a club to batter down the voice tempting you.
Very very well done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 39
Thanks you. I don't know if I would say if I have turned my life around. I would say I have turned the car in the right direction. I am just trying to keep myself busy and doing fun things rather than go back to where I was.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Well perhaps stop future tripping. You are sober right now in this moment. That is enough to worry about. And you don't need to TELL your wife you quit drinking. Show her by your actions. I bet she'll get it. Oh congratulations on turning your life around.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
about the thinking, GTTC:
you can help those thoughts go away by thinking through how nonsensical they are.
it's bizarre to think of drinking as a "reward" for not drinking.
it's your "mind" manipulating itself when it tells you that because you have 15 sober days you can now control.
it's desperate bargaining to attempt the moderation-thing by only drinking weekends, or when you're going out...
all attempts to keep drinking. desperately wanting to hang on.
if you go to the 'secular connections' forum farther down, you will see threads with "AVRT" in the title. Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. hugely useful with this thinking-of-crazy-thoughts stuff. check it out.
you can help those thoughts go away by thinking through how nonsensical they are.
it's bizarre to think of drinking as a "reward" for not drinking.
it's your "mind" manipulating itself when it tells you that because you have 15 sober days you can now control.
it's desperate bargaining to attempt the moderation-thing by only drinking weekends, or when you're going out...
all attempts to keep drinking. desperately wanting to hang on.
if you go to the 'secular connections' forum farther down, you will see threads with "AVRT" in the title. Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. hugely useful with this thinking-of-crazy-thoughts stuff. check it out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The thoughts of drinking do diminish in time. The first couple months I found myself thinking about it several times a day, but that made sense because I was drinking in every situation.
I don't think it about very often now at one year. When I do, it's just a small annoyance - I've proven to myself repeatedly that it isn't an option any longer.
I don't think it about very often now at one year. When I do, it's just a small annoyance - I've proven to myself repeatedly that it isn't an option any longer.
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