Stryfe

I've been trying to get sober since September 2011. Back then, I had my second DUI pending. I had my license revoked for six months. Somehow, I've managed to stop drinking and driving, but my life is still unmanageable. When I'm drinking, I can't get or hold down a job. I'm turning 32 next month. When I first came in the rooms, I had a fake nine months. I was on the marijuana maintenance plan. But I was smoking weed like a dopefiend. Still didn't have a job, so I developed weed head friends and we would drive into Baltimore city everyday and buy $5 nickel bags of weed in the shadiest neighborhoods where people get killed regularly. Since then, I haven't managed to put three months together. I have been going to a lot of young people meetings, but most of the people in young people AA, their problem is heroin and I can't relate because the only drugs I've ever used were alcohol and marijuana. I also made the mistake of making a Facebook page with nothing but people from young people AA and I would write horrible hateful things while blacked out and many people started giving me the cold shoulder because of that. I pissed off my sponsor because of that. I feel I need to go to more old timer meetings where people have tons of experience and are more understanding of a real drunk like me. People at the young people meetings would hold serious grudges and resentments over things I wrote on social media while drunk. I'm not that young anymore. Many people at the young people meetings only drank a few years before getting sober. It's hard to find meetings to fit in at my age. Everybody is usually ten years older or ten years younger at most meetings.

jryan19982

I can see how that would be hard but the end game or destination should be the same. I grew up near Baltimore and can imagine where you are talking about and i wouldn't go within 5 blocks of that place.

Go to different meetings and see what works best for you. Glad you are seeking help.

Stryfe

The hard pill to swallow is that anywhere is dangerous for me as an active alcoholic. I live in a quiet "nice" suburban town with a low crime rate. But I got beat up so bad on Christmas Eve that I had to get a root canal for my front tooth. All because of hanging with the wrong crowd drinking. I don't drink and drive anymore, but when I'm walking around drunk in public hanging out with other lost people doing the same thing, that's the type of thing that happens. Four years ago on Valentines Day, I got beat up so bad that I woke up in the hospital getting stitches in my face. I just want a normal life. A girlfriend, a good job, my own place. But all of those things are impossible for me to attain as an active drunk. Nothing ever falls into place. I have a college degree, but I can't find or get a job while drinking. I've wasted years doing this.

I'm very sensitive right now. I was outside drinking all day even though with the windchill is negative ten degrees outside. I'd rather be outside drinking than be with a bunch of judgemental young people at a young people's meeting. Many people there stopped talking to me and answering my phone calls. I need to go back to the old timers meetings like the ones I attended three years ago.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here!

My first AA meeting was around 1980. I went once - looked around, judged all as a bunch of old farts and never went back.

I went a couple other times over the next 30 years. Total if about 8-10 meetings. Bunch of snot nose kids or old farts - didn't "fit" in.

8 months ago I had my last drink. I attend meetings frequently since 5-7 per week. Look around at "kids" in there 30's with 5 years or more sobriety.

What's the point???

The point is it makes no difference the age of a group. I am there to understand and not be understood. I am there to stay alive by learning from others about the action of working the 12 steps. I am now 55 YO.

Forget about your FB crap - let it go. Clean it up when you do a 4th step. Go to different groups - young / old etc. But Go!

Tomorrow we put to rest a friend who died of alcoholism at 43 - liver failure.
His disease did not give a rats arse about his age or if he felt comfortable in meetings ( he never went - I am sure he had his reasons )

Whatever room you end up in is where your suppose to be - I promise.

Anna

Hi,

I can't give you any advice about the type of meeting because I don't use AA, but I hope you find a meeting that works for you.

You can have the kind of life that you want, and you must believe it is possible.

Stryfe

How do you stay sober?

JadedGirl

Hey, I think regardless of what meeting you go to, what counselling you have the number one thing you need is a huge why? Why do you want to quit? And also a more than huge amount of determination and willpower. I was in counselling for 6 months before I stopped and had a friend who was extremely supportive who told me everything I knew was right but I obviously wasn't ready. One day it just hit me that if I didn't do it now I never would. My counsellor, fMily, friends and SR are a huge support but ultimately it's only me that can stop myself picking up that glass.
The point that stuck out for me was saying you would rather drink than be sat with a bunch of judgemental people....I agree they sound like assholes BUT you are doing this for you! It's not a case of sitting with them or drinking..it's not either or...I can't get to meetings so although I've heard they can be really useful it is possible to do it without. You just (just doesn't mean it's not huge) have to find that deep down why!! Everytime you want a drink remember why you're doing this and dig down and find your determination!!
I never ever thought this was possible but it is and this site proves it. You can do it but you have to believe it xx

brynn

Hey stryfe...I don't use AA either. I stay sober by not drinking. I made the decision to never drink again and it's done wonders for my sobriety.

Ultimately, the choice is yours and yours alone. If you want to live a sober life...free of the shackles of booze...then you will quit drinking regardless of what meeting you go to or how old everyone in the rooms are.