Anger in sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 313
Anger in sobriety
Hey everyone,
I'm 34 days sober today and generally feeling good.
This morning I felt so angry about a situation in my personal life. It was a very unpleasant feeling just sitting with it!
I didn't want to drink (and still don't) and I used the coping strategies I learned in rehab. The feeling has now passed, thankfully! Phew!
I'm proud of myself for getting through it. I guess I just want to ask those further down the line of sobriety....does dealing with these feelings sober get any easier?
I'm 34 days sober today and generally feeling good.
This morning I felt so angry about a situation in my personal life. It was a very unpleasant feeling just sitting with it!
I didn't want to drink (and still don't) and I used the coping strategies I learned in rehab. The feeling has now passed, thankfully! Phew!
I'm proud of myself for getting through it. I guess I just want to ask those further down the line of sobriety....does dealing with these feelings sober get any easier?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
The more you practice your coping strategies, the more automatic they become and the quicker you can let those feelings go. You are developing new habits that will serve you well. Great job getting through those feelings!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 313
Thanks for the responses, guys, much appreciated.
Bernie, thanks for the advice, that is good to hear that practicing the coping strategies pays off.
Esspee, thank you, I'm pleased that I have been an inspiration! Stay strong and keep pushing on with sobriety!
Bernie, thanks for the advice, that is good to hear that practicing the coping strategies pays off.
Esspee, thank you, I'm pleased that I have been an inspiration! Stay strong and keep pushing on with sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
I had anger / agitation as well early on during recovery. I also had a lot of fear / anxiety about the unknown and finding things to occupy my time. It's true that these feelings can be overwhelming but they do subside and get less frequent and less intense over time. I agree that doing positive things (meditation, prayer, exercise, being with friends / family) is key. Practice these things often and even when you don't want to. They will first become a habit, then automatically something your mind wants to do.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Recognising my AV
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
I posted about my anger problems in the first couple of months and they do, as people told me they would subside......almost to the point of disappearing in my case....................
.........and then yesterday BANG! right out of the blue they returned with bells on!
So in my case yes they're so much better but I can't drop my guard.
what I have really enjoyed finding out though is that the little things that really don't matter that I used to blow out of all proportion now really don't matter - and that makes life infinitely more pleasurable and simple for all.
Congratulations on over a month sober - that's fantastic
.........and then yesterday BANG! right out of the blue they returned with bells on!
So in my case yes they're so much better but I can't drop my guard.
what I have really enjoyed finding out though is that the little things that really don't matter that I used to blow out of all proportion now really don't matter - and that makes life infinitely more pleasurable and simple for all.
Congratulations on over a month sober - that's fantastic
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
As long as everything is going my way
then im cool. Then, all it takes is one
little bitty small cough to constant coughing
to ruffle my feathers, raise the hairs on the
back of my neck, and im all rattled.
Enough already is what comes to mind.
However, since I have no control over
the other persons coughs, I get angry,
disturbed, aggravated, which is enough
to send me over the edge.
I could remain angry over that person
for interrupting my peace and serenity
or I could move away from the situation
to clear my angry, calm down, remember
all that was taught to me about removing
that anger cropped up in me so that it
doesn't fester and cause more harm than
good.
I have no control over that persons
cough but I don't have to just sit
there and take it. If that person
doesn't see it as a bother, then I
just have to take care of myself an
further myself from it take care of
me and my own peace of mind.
Anger turns into resentments and
its easy to resent that person for
that annoying cough. So how do
I avoid holding onto that resentment
and anger?
My Serenty Prayer is right there on my
tip of my tongue to say and embedded
in my memory to use when and wherever
I need it. Also, all that was taught to me
and practiced from my recovery program
to use or apply in all of lifes annoying situations
is always on hand.
Sure, even with 24yrs sobriety, I will
never be cured from my illness of addiction.
It's asleep right now, but, let one small
little itty bitty aggravating cough get the
best of me to make me angry, reach
for alcohol, my poison of choice, to think
it would relieve me of anger pain....WELP,
it wont. One sip, one drink, my beast is
awake, ready to shred, claw, rip the head
off that person with that annoying cough
and that wont be the end.
He'll be dead and so will I.
then im cool. Then, all it takes is one
little bitty small cough to constant coughing
to ruffle my feathers, raise the hairs on the
back of my neck, and im all rattled.
Enough already is what comes to mind.
However, since I have no control over
the other persons coughs, I get angry,
disturbed, aggravated, which is enough
to send me over the edge.
I could remain angry over that person
for interrupting my peace and serenity
or I could move away from the situation
to clear my angry, calm down, remember
all that was taught to me about removing
that anger cropped up in me so that it
doesn't fester and cause more harm than
good.
I have no control over that persons
cough but I don't have to just sit
there and take it. If that person
doesn't see it as a bother, then I
just have to take care of myself an
further myself from it take care of
me and my own peace of mind.
Anger turns into resentments and
its easy to resent that person for
that annoying cough. So how do
I avoid holding onto that resentment
and anger?
My Serenty Prayer is right there on my
tip of my tongue to say and embedded
in my memory to use when and wherever
I need it. Also, all that was taught to me
and practiced from my recovery program
to use or apply in all of lifes annoying situations
is always on hand.
Sure, even with 24yrs sobriety, I will
never be cured from my illness of addiction.
It's asleep right now, but, let one small
little itty bitty aggravating cough get the
best of me to make me angry, reach
for alcohol, my poison of choice, to think
it would relieve me of anger pain....WELP,
it wont. One sip, one drink, my beast is
awake, ready to shred, claw, rip the head
off that person with that annoying cough
and that wont be the end.
He'll be dead and so will I.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by aasharon90 
My Serenty Prayer is right there on my
tip of my tongue to say and embedded
in my memory to use when and wherever
I need it. Also, all that was taught to me
and practiced from my recovery program
to use or apply in all of lifes annoying situations
is always on hand.
Sure, even with 24yrs sobriety, I will
never be cured from my illness of addiction.
It's asleep right now, but, let one small
little itty bitty aggravating cough get the
best of me to make me angry, reach
for alcohol, my poison of choice, to think
it would relieve me of anger pain....WELP,
it wont. One sip, one drink, my beast is
awake, ready to shred, claw, rip the head
off that person with that annoying cough
and that wont be the end.
He'll be dead and so will I.
tip of my tongue to say and embedded
in my memory to use when and wherever
I need it. Also, all that was taught to me
and practiced from my recovery program
to use or apply in all of lifes annoying situations
is always on hand.
Sure, even with 24yrs sobriety, I will
never be cured from my illness of addiction.
It's asleep right now, but, let one small
little itty bitty aggravating cough get the
best of me to make me angry, reach
for alcohol, my poison of choice, to think
it would relieve me of anger pain....WELP,
it wont. One sip, one drink, my beast is
awake, ready to shred, claw, rip the head
off that person with that annoying cough
and that wont be the end.
He'll be dead and so will I.
Yep! Even after many years of being sober we must recognize the tools we need for healthy reactions to annoying things like spilled milk, broken shoelace, a “look” and so many triggers we have.
It’s work and we need to change from our old ways.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 313
Thanks for all the responses and advice, everyone. Good to hear advice from long-time sober folks like aasharon90.
I really am happy with myself for getting through that earlier, but I know I cannot rest on my laurels. I will keep practising those coping strategies!
I really am happy with myself for getting through that earlier, but I know I cannot rest on my laurels. I will keep practising those coping strategies!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I was often very irritable during the first month of sobriety and it scared me because typically I'm really not an anger-prone person. Or so I thought. It definitely gets easier. I also found that anger can actually be a powerful drive and incentive if we manage to ride the energy and project it in a constructive way. An energetic motivation to actively tackle something that bothers us, the trick is to not use it in a destructive way. When I had that irritability problem, sometimes I would jut pour it into exercise, go for a long run with loud and aggressive music -- this really worked for me to calm down in an acute way. Also, make sure you eat well and regularly, being hungry and fluctuations in blood sugar can cause and contribute to irritability a lot.
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Congrats on 34 days awholenewlife52. I'm two months sober and have also been struggling with anger in early sobriety. I find journalling helps, as well as talking through my feelings --and the root of those feelings -- with counsellors and other people I can trust.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Hello awholenewlife52,
Congratulations on 34 days! Things do get much easier as you continue to recover. Anger and anxiety were two of my biggest triggers, so I have worked the hardest on learning (relearning) how to deal with those issues as they come up. Anger usually goes hand in hand with resentment, and until we forgive, and move on, it can rear it's ugly head almost anytime. Sobriety allows us the time and serenity to learn how to cope with life, without drinking, which is a vicious circle. Drinking is a progressive disease, and our brains suffer as much or more than our bodies. It takes time to get your brain chemistry back where it needs to be. I work the 12 steps, and really living by the steps will allow you to work through all of the emotions we stuffed, and character defects that we have nurtured all the years we drank. I wish you the best!
BSA
Congratulations on 34 days! Things do get much easier as you continue to recover. Anger and anxiety were two of my biggest triggers, so I have worked the hardest on learning (relearning) how to deal with those issues as they come up. Anger usually goes hand in hand with resentment, and until we forgive, and move on, it can rear it's ugly head almost anytime. Sobriety allows us the time and serenity to learn how to cope with life, without drinking, which is a vicious circle. Drinking is a progressive disease, and our brains suffer as much or more than our bodies. It takes time to get your brain chemistry back where it needs to be. I work the 12 steps, and really living by the steps will allow you to work through all of the emotions we stuffed, and character defects that we have nurtured all the years we drank. I wish you the best!
BSA
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