Help...How do I get out?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Kingwood, TX
Posts: 3
Help...How do I get out?
I have been with my alcoholic partner for about five years since his last year in college. I had just come out of my last relationship where my fiancee left me about 2 months before the wedding. I thought when I met him that he was just having fun while he was in college. I figured when he got a real job he would stop his childish ways but it never happened. A few months ago I tried to leave but I had no where to go. I still had to share an apartment. One day he came home and told me to get out. He said if he evr had to look at me again he was going to **** me up. I was scared and did what I always to to calm him down. I let him convince me that it was all my fault and that he could quit if I stopped messing up. He slowed down for a while but now he is drinking again. If he isn't drinking he is smoking pot or obsessing about getting some. I lost my job about a month ago. I have no money and no place to go but I need to get out. Out for good. Does anyone no where I can get help? Where I can go?
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: cicero ny
Posts: 65
Lonestar, do you have any friends or relatives that you could stay with? There's got to be someone you know that you can stay with for a few months until you find and job and get back on your feet. It sounds like he is pretty unstable and you may not be safe staying there. If you find someone to stay with and decided to go, I would do it when he isn't around. You don't want to make a bad situation worse. Your safety should be your main concern right now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Lonestar,
If you don't have friends/relatives who will help out, I would suggest a women's shelter. Just look in the yellow pages and make a call. You need to protect yourself and a women's shelter will give you a chance to get back on your feet. Good luck.
Love, Anna
If you don't have friends/relatives who will help out, I would suggest a women's shelter. Just look in the yellow pages and make a call. You need to protect yourself and a women's shelter will give you a chance to get back on your feet. Good luck.
Love, Anna
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Kingwood, TX
Posts: 3
Unfortunatly my parents live about 1,800 miles away and are going threw a very messy divorce. My friends also live 1,800 miles away. The only friend that lives near by is two near. She is in the same apartment complex and he would suspect me being there. I did try looking up womens shelters on line in the yellow pages but they were all for those who are physically abused. Greg has not beat me yet so I don't think they will let me in. Is there a shelter specifically for those who are emotionally abused?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Call your parents
Regardless of the fact they're going through a messy divorce, you are their child and I'm sure they want to protect you from being in harm's way. Ask them to loan you the money to either fly home where you can stay with one of them or one of your friends. If you have a car and a lot of belongings, rent a U-haul and have your folks send you enough money for gas, cheap hotel lodging and the rental vehicle.
Listen, I walked out at 11 pm on a Sunday with absolutely NOWHERE to go, but I ended up pounding on the door of a woman I knew at my church. We weren't even that close, but I HAD to get out. I threw my clothes, personal files, and cat in my car and managed to escape my former husband. I put up with alcoholism, violence and just about any sort of abuse he could dish out until I finally didn't give a damn if I had to live in a box under the freeway.
If I can do it, you can too. Your life is too valuable to risk it on the chance that your bf will not become physically violent. Abusers generally escalate once they know they have you cornered. Don't let him have control over your life any longer.
If you can't go to a women's shelter, start calling local churches and your county social service agency. There are folks out there who will help someone who is truly in need, and trying these other avenues may get you out of a terrible situation.
Listen, I walked out at 11 pm on a Sunday with absolutely NOWHERE to go, but I ended up pounding on the door of a woman I knew at my church. We weren't even that close, but I HAD to get out. I threw my clothes, personal files, and cat in my car and managed to escape my former husband. I put up with alcoholism, violence and just about any sort of abuse he could dish out until I finally didn't give a damn if I had to live in a box under the freeway.
If I can do it, you can too. Your life is too valuable to risk it on the chance that your bf will not become physically violent. Abusers generally escalate once they know they have you cornered. Don't let him have control over your life any longer.
If you can't go to a women's shelter, start calling local churches and your county social service agency. There are folks out there who will help someone who is truly in need, and trying these other avenues may get you out of a terrible situation.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 168
Call the local shelter anyway I do believe they would help you . I agree with prodical call your parents anyway I know if my child needed me I would move heaven and earth if I could to help them. I have heard in some cases the american red cross will put you on a bus to where you need to go. Be careful and take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: A very sad place
Posts: 115
After living through the abuse (both verbal and physical) that my H has dished out through the years I can tell you one thing GET OUT NOW. NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, GET OUT NOW. Things will only get worse from here.
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