i hate.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
i hate.
I'll try to post more tomorrow but I hate someone who is not me right now and I need help figuring out how to live with this b*tch. I just need to figure out how to live with this absolute ****** and not use her as an excuse to descend into further self destruction. I don't want to drink anymore but I just don't have any other relief. I'm so freaking tired. My sanity is tested on both ends of the rope. It's like there is no middle.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
There was no other relief for me than to
admit complete defeat and then surrender.
I entered recovery and rehab when I lost
all control to my life. Family did all the work
calling for help and direction. Finally I was
picked up by the authorities that very day
on August 10th and didn't return home till
28 days later.
I wasn't crazy because they had me tested.
I was told however I had an addiction problem
and needed help. I then remain in rehab, a safe
secure inviroment with no alcohol to reach for.
I was then taught about addiction and its
affects on my mind, body and soul. Then
was given some valuable tools to use in
my everyday life to help me remain sober.
Suggestions I took serious as my life depended
on it because I had no where else to go. I ran
out of self will and decided to surrendered to
a program of recovery that has help many others
thru the yrs to remain sober on a daily bases.
Alcohol thought it had its claws deep within me
to destroy me. and it almost did. However, after
listening, learning, aborbing and applying a program
of recovery in all areas of my life, I continue to
wear a suit of recovery armor strong enough
to ward off that demon that tried to bring me down.
You don't have to live defeated any longer.
admit complete defeat and then surrender.
I entered recovery and rehab when I lost
all control to my life. Family did all the work
calling for help and direction. Finally I was
picked up by the authorities that very day
on August 10th and didn't return home till
28 days later.
I wasn't crazy because they had me tested.
I was told however I had an addiction problem
and needed help. I then remain in rehab, a safe
secure inviroment with no alcohol to reach for.
I was then taught about addiction and its
affects on my mind, body and soul. Then
was given some valuable tools to use in
my everyday life to help me remain sober.
Suggestions I took serious as my life depended
on it because I had no where else to go. I ran
out of self will and decided to surrendered to
a program of recovery that has help many others
thru the yrs to remain sober on a daily bases.
Alcohol thought it had its claws deep within me
to destroy me. and it almost did. However, after
listening, learning, aborbing and applying a program
of recovery in all areas of my life, I continue to
wear a suit of recovery armor strong enough
to ward off that demon that tried to bring me down.
You don't have to live defeated any longer.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Going to AA with half a heart. I am wondering if I need to make myself sacrifice and do a 90 in 90. To be honest, AA is the only place I not only feel happy but feel held accountable. I haven't had a therapist since moving but I'm beginning to think that I need help beyond my alcoholism. My ED is horribly out of control as well. It's like my life is in several downward spirals and my shame is keeping me safe and killing me. I am terrified of going to the dentist. My teeth hurt every day but I am so afraid and ashamed. I am just darn scared. It's damn good to see you Dee. Hope you don't mind me gloming onto you from time to time. You're a safe harbor of sanity for me. I am just so tired right now but I am lacking in strength. I'm just a jellyfish right now. I'm pretty but I'm lacking in substance.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Always good to see you dG.
sounds like you have the glimmerings of a plan there - recommit to AA, find a new therapist and stop putting off the dentist
Might take a while to come to full fruition...but you could make a start right away.
Drinking simply won't help any of that - it just makes everything worse....you know that
D
sounds like you have the glimmerings of a plan there - recommit to AA, find a new therapist and stop putting off the dentist
Might take a while to come to full fruition...but you could make a start right away.
Drinking simply won't help any of that - it just makes everything worse....you know that
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
The poison in alcohol strips and damages
all parts of our bodies, including our gums.
Our very own teeth that cling on to.
The poison in alcohol was destroying my
gums back in the day. So bad that they
almost had to scrape my gums. Thank
God I didn't loose my teeth because my
gums were so weak.
I was 30 when I was taken to rehab
and since then haven't pick up another
drink of poison.
Today, and many one days at a time
added together sober, I still have most
of my teeth. All the shame and guilt that
came from my drinking and being under
the influence, has been delt with.
Recovery helped me repair the damage
of the past as a result of my drinking.
We don't have to live in the dark any longer.
Recovery gave me hope and a new life to
enjoy it in a happier, healthier, honest way.
all parts of our bodies, including our gums.
Our very own teeth that cling on to.
The poison in alcohol was destroying my
gums back in the day. So bad that they
almost had to scrape my gums. Thank
God I didn't loose my teeth because my
gums were so weak.
I was 30 when I was taken to rehab
and since then haven't pick up another
drink of poison.
Today, and many one days at a time
added together sober, I still have most
of my teeth. All the shame and guilt that
came from my drinking and being under
the influence, has been delt with.
Recovery helped me repair the damage
of the past as a result of my drinking.
We don't have to live in the dark any longer.
Recovery gave me hope and a new life to
enjoy it in a happier, healthier, honest way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Try not to see all the issues in one box.
Attack one thing at a time. But do attack, procrastination never works for me. Dentist should be the first I think. A tooth pain will grind at your patience, not good, not good at all.
Then maybe the biatch won't get on your nerves as much. ;-)
Stay strong, drop some items on your list!
Attack one thing at a time. But do attack, procrastination never works for me. Dentist should be the first I think. A tooth pain will grind at your patience, not good, not good at all.
Then maybe the biatch won't get on your nerves as much. ;-)
Stay strong, drop some items on your list!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
DG drinking is just the pits and it makes everything else go off kilter as well .
As far as i know human jellyfish are welcome in the rooms .
I hope you go and do a 90 x 90 , see a therapist and see a dentist .
One day at a time , forwards
m
As far as i know human jellyfish are welcome in the rooms .
I hope you go and do a 90 x 90 , see a therapist and see a dentist .
One day at a time , forwards
m
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