Nowsthetime

I'm so sad. I feel like my FIL is going to die. He is actually saying that on his hospital bed. He has always been so full of life. I am feeling good about my sobriety (specially since a lot of his complications come from his cirrhosis). Listen to this though: he is dying in there and when the liver specialist came in and asked about alcohol consumption, he lied!!! His wife was there so she said something, but still, why would someone lie in such a moment.

This is creating lots of stress and I do hear my AV saying to have a couple just to relax, maybe a glass of wine with my hubby so that we can bond and be sad together... What?!?!? Shut up!!!!

I used to love booze, now I just hate it and hate how it's glamorized by our society. I guess it's ok for normies so I shouldn't hate.

SR friends. Please tell me things are going to be ok. I almost rather him die than be in such misery and pain, but then I feel like an a$$ for thinking of him passing. I don't know...

SoberLeigh

(((Nowsthetime))). Sometimes I wonder what is worse - our own alcoholism or witnessing the alcoholism of someone we love.

Your FIL's response to the doctor's question shows just how powerful denial can be - and how powerful the Beast.

You should be very proud of those 334 days that you have amassed; keep building those days

ScottFromWI

Your AV telling you it would be OK to have a drink now ( which you know is an asinine statment ) is the same AV telling your FIL to lie about his drinking to the doctors. It's addiction and if you let it it will eventually take everything. Things can get better, and the will get better for you if you keep up the good work of your sobriety. Regarding your FIL, unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do...other than be there for your mother in law and the rest of the family. You may want to ask her if she's sought help for herself too. It's a very difficult thing to watch someone throw their life away, I've seen it first hand. It's also a very vivid reminder of the power of addiction unchecked though.

Nowsthetime

Now I'm getting ready to go back to the hospital (2hrs away in the city they live in) with all their dogs we are watching. I'm livid because they have one daughter each (from previous marriages) that live there but for some reason we are the ones pulling our weight. What is going on? Why can't all the family help... Also: there's a male dog so he and my male dog have been having pee pee'ing contests all over my house. It's gross!!! I'm going to have to buy a new couch but that's the least of my problems. Now I have to go and face him in his hospital bed, tubes coming out of everywhere, looking terrible. I have been positive all this time but it's starting to get at me and I can feel myself breaking. I just have to be strong but it's turning to be too hard. I love this man more than my own father. I love him and don't want to see him this way...

jryan19982

How old is your FIL? Has he stopped drinking?

You have done well and on almost a year. Thats freaking awesome! I want to get there in another 358 days. Keep it up- you are doing awesome.

Nowsthetime

He'll be 66 this year. He has stopped for a while now, since they found a malignant tumor and cirrhosis. They took the tumor out along with part of his stomach, liver, pancreas and small intestine. Now, his liver isn't working and he isn't recovering... His kidneys shut down for a while plus other complications. It's a mess.

biminiblue

I'm sorry for the stress you are under.

It's very sweet that you are caring for the dogs, even though it is difficult. They are losing someone, too. ( I know, but I always feel for the animals when their people die.)

I've lost everyone in my family. It's tough, I will be thinking of you.

jryan19982

Man, Im sorry to hear that. This is why we all need to stop and stop now. I hope he is able to recover. Its truly awful what alcohol does to us.

Nowsthetime

Thanks guys. I feel for the doggies too. They are happy here (it's 3 of them and my 2) but I know they miss their own home. At least we will be there for the weekend so they will get to spend those 2 days in their own home.

Soberwolf

(((Nows))) so sorry bud

drinking wont solve anything and its best to be there for your FIL

Hang in there bud

Alynn

I'm so sorry! Push through!!! Way to go on almost a year!

PurpleKnight

Be very proud of 334 Days!!

DoubleDragons

On my October 2013 thread, one of my sober friends said that she was happy to see in my threads that I have shifted my thought trend; that instead of wanting to drink over the turmoil my mother's alcoholism has caused, I have shifted my thoughts to how much I can't stand alcohol and how grateful I am to be sober, as I see alcohol is slowly and insidiously killing my mother. I am so sorry for your pain. I completely empathize with it. Don't let your beloved FIL die in vain. If seeing his suffering and denial, keeps you sober, it won't be.