hillbillygirl

So, I got a call from my grandmother last night to inform me that my father is once again in jail. Unfortunately, this time, he might be in there for quiet a stint. The police arrested him for being drunk and disorderly, then soon found out he had a bench warrant.
He has no self control whatsoever, and once he starts drinking...all other drugs are open for consumption. He's been in and out of jail since he was 18, and during a lot of my childhood and even now that I'm an adult.


I feel like I've always had to be more responsible than him. :/

I just needed to vent. I love the guy, but I wish he could keep himself out of trouble, and it bums me out tremendously.

24hrsAday

Remember to take care of you... (no matter what he does)

hillbillygirl

Thanks, 24.. I will, I just find it disheartening, such a bummer. He was doing so good.
My in-laws love him to pieces, and when he's in jail he can't visit (he usually visits at least once a month) and they ask me why he hasn't visited, and I have to lie because I'm embarrassed for him and myself. I hate everything that this causes...

ccam1973

Sorry to hear that HBG. You can only control you. Be good to yourself!

hillbillygirl

And it ticks me off that he can tell me to be sober, but goes and pull stunts like this.

DrunkTx

HBG - he's one of us, so we get it. Sorry about the bummer situation, but it is a reminder of the vigilance we have to maintain over our sobriety and how bad it can get if we drink. Please be patient with him, and share some of your (our) stories with him.

hillbillygirl

Thanks DrunkTX, it is a reminder. I think I've been very patient and forgiving of him. Just because I didn't get myself into similar trouble when I was drinking, doesn't mean it couldn't have happened, or wouldnt have happened if I kept it up.
This is what its like to be on the other side, but also on the inside. Rough.

ArtFriend

My dad was in and out of jail (even prison) so I understand your pain.

He had all kinds of advice for us kids. When we kids pointed out his hypocrisy he would say, "do as I say, not as I do"

uh, ok dad

SoberLeigh

I am sorry to hear this, HBG. Sometimes what we learn from our parents is so damaging; they watch; they learn; they emulate.

I hope that you can take comfort in knowing that your are breaking the cycle and can send the right message to your children.

Thatdeliveryguy

I hope for your fathers sake the bench warrant isn't for anything to serious. I would agree with others here, focus on yourself first and foremost. I glad we're here to help you vent.

Oh sobriety is such a beast, always seems if it isn't one thing its another.

Maybe its time to take a flyer with dear old dad and talk to him. I know after people sober up and find themselves in jail recovery and regret seem to be at the forefront of their mind. Ask him if they have group thearpy or AA or something there and urge him to attend those meetings. Maybe just maybe this time something will stick. You just never know, if nothing else he will know you still love him and care and will be there when he wants to get better.

I am beginning to learn talking to other people about there problems with addiction helps me realize things about my addiction. It might very well be therapeutic for you to help him.

Hang in there!

PurpleKnight

Very sorry to hear that, SR is in your corner!!