girllostinadaze

Seems that I can go a few days without drinking and then like clock work I am right back at it... Then I will get disgusted with myself and stop again.

It seems my mind wanders to alcohol with so many thoughts and emotions... When I'm hungry, bored, upset, angry, down, up, stressed... I automatically think about drinking and all that I "love" about it. I'll go a few days with drinking then become so mad at myself for even starting, and that's when I remember all that I hate about alcohol... How it changes me, how it upsets my family, how physically awful it makes me feel.

Will this cycle ever break? Any suggestions on what I can do? I need a shoulder to lean on... Or something.

Xo, girllostinadaze

Mountainmanbob

as long as we keep entertaining the thought of drinking we will probably end up drinking

if we play the tape out we see with the mind's eye where drinking is not a good option

PurpleKnight

Support, support, support!!

For me when my mind was selling me the wonders of alcohol I needed a second opinion, something to short circuit my own thoughts, support and something to reach out to made all the difference!!

But you have to build that support into your life, into your routines, post before you drink, regularly use that support to keep your focus on the job at hand!!

girllostinadaze

I need something... I feel alone. I feel chained to this stupid ******* substance. I break free and then go crawling right back to it.

Jen73

hello girllost...

The most of us why we drink is because we are addicted to how and what it makes us feel at the moment.

The cycle will break, but it takes the motivation in you to want to do this.

How I cope when I get upset or have the urge to drink, I think about why did I have to quit drinking, what was the purpose, Mine was cause of my kids and my husband. I don't want my drinking to loose everything I have.

When I get bored, yes, it is real easy for me to drink, but I have a voice to tell me NO, think about your Kids, Your Life, Your everything you have.

Yes, I will admit it is hard, but coming in here and posting things or read things other people are struggling it helps me.

Watching movies, or have a hobby it keeps me going. This is my 8 day being sober, and today I am feeling very good about the choice I made.

I do have a lot of anxiety issues, but I am coping with it one day at a time. I also bought the Big Book the other night and every Night I go to bed, I will read a chapter of the stories that people put in the book.

You can do this, you are strong and just remember you are not alone in this lonely path we are taking each day.

I hope this helps!!

Dee74

Coning here every day and reading and posting - not only about myself but posting to help others - really helped me break that cycle where after a few days I would think drinking was a good idea again.

D

girllostinadaze

I guess my motivation would be my career. I'm pending a DUI charge. I go to trial in March. If I mess up again I'll lose my job, as well as my professional license, which I truly love. I'm a Registered Nurse in a nursing home. Caring for my patients is more important than anything. I went to college, got a degree, then fell into addiction. When I got this job I initially toned it down a lot. But then some awful things happened to me and I got right back into drinking, harder than before. I'm a functional alcoholic if I have ever seen one. I work overnights. I can drink all day, take a nap for a few hours, then go to work. I am at my wits end.

Soberwolf

Its acceptance thatl stop you from drinking & then you build a sober plan to help you stay sober & watch the change happen plus you have all of us supporting you along the way

girllostinadaze

So what is the sober plan? How do I come up with that?

Soberwolf

Sober plan = things youl do to remain sober whether it be Aa, avrt, smart

Addiction counselling, regular Dr apts, a new college course, outpatient, group therapy, coming on here, hobbies & interests, meditation, yoga the list goes on keeping a journal, volenteering, always phone some one in time of urges/cravings or log on here, i made a point of going the extra mile each & every time

You can ask the SR team to help you build a sober plan but its basically a plan to stay sober

tomsteve

One thing you can do is a search online for "big book online" and read it. Its real title is alcoholics anonymous. It describes quite a bit about the alcoholics thinking and actions and has a great solution that's real simple.
Theres personal stories in the back,too( after page 164).
And if ya like what ya read, what can happen by working and living the program then I'd suggest going to a meeting.

OnMyWay7

Hi girllost. I wish I had all this good advice but I'm still new. One thing I did was write in a journal the last few days of drinking why I wanted to stop and how I felt and kept writing (still am). Now when it "sounds like fun" I read what I wrote and realize that I wasn't having fun so it must be the addiction talking.

I also have promised myself to start AA meetings this month. I really want to stop.

Good luck.

Mcribb

I know the feeling. I would drink and drink. Feel sick and horrible Vow to never drink again, then I would feel better, then life would start to upset me. Then I would go back to drinking. Drinking was awesome when I was in college and it had lots of good times. It was fun at one time. The Fun Time ended for me along time ago though. There was years of just drinking doing my best to numb the pain. Finally legal troubles health problems piled up so high I said enough is enough. With my tail between my legs I went to AA and got help. I also sought out other programs, I decided AA was for me. You are very brave to come here and spill your guts. Hopefully it doesn't take you a DUI or worse to have you hit a bottom. Prayers and Love for you! Take care.

Mikie9

you stop. After that it becomes a myriad of solutions that you have to work out yourself.

What to do to fill your time.
What to do to satisfy your emotions.
What to do when your mind is telling you drinking is the way out, even when you know that isn't what you want to do.

for me, ice cream to get me through the cravings. Exercise gets me through the boredom. Remembering what ever I go through not drinking, isn't as bad as the going ons that happen when I drink, and how I feel after.

It's not easy for me, but this place is full of people doing the something you are.

trying.

Rickh54

Hello Girllost, we are glad you are here. SR can be anything you want it to be. What ever you are going thru, someone here has been thru the same thing. Reach out, read the stories and share your feelings. You are not alone.
You made a comment a few posts back that caught my attention. You said you were a functioning alcoholic. 15 months ago today was my last drink. I too felt I was functioning and I made the same comment in an early post. A wise old drunk corrected me. There is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic. You are at one stage of the disease. You still work, you still have some money, you still have loved ones, you still have your dignity (maybe) and maybe you still have your health.
Its only time and continuing to drink that will take all of that away from you. This disease only gets worse and worse until the grim reaper knocks on our door. All of us on SR have admitted publicly and personally that we have a problem. The only way to control the problem is to not drink. Simple? No. Worth the effort? Yes.
Believing you are functioning while unable to stop thinking about your next drinking activity is not functioning. It is a serious problem.
We all want the better days for you.
Rick

Rickh54

Girlost, Soberwolf beat me to it when he said you need a plan. Believe him, you do.
A plan to deal with the voice in your head. A plan to deal with the triggers that made you drink. You had lots of those. Good times, bad times, rainy day, sunny day, windy day, Friday. A plan to lose the drinking buddies and reconnect with your true dear old time friends. A plan to exercise, eat well, expand your education, heal relationships, a financial plan are just a few. Really a plan to get your one and only life back on track.
Write it down, review it, live it every day. If you don't have a plan or directions, any road will take you there.
Best of everything young lady. You can do this if you want it bad enough.
As Billy Carrington said in a song " I am pretty good at drinking beer". That was me. Man, I could drink beer. Not a great thing to be proud of. I did it for 45 years. 61 in a couple of weeks and I don't have 45 more, thats for sure. The one thing I do know is that I am not going to drink the last years away.
Rick