Jillian2563

I got wasted yesterday. Don't even know why. Guess cause I'm an alcoholic. Can't do it today. Leaving work now and going by McDs for ice cream inside of store for beer. Hoping that I can make it past the first week of sobriety. Seems like everytime I try, I relapse within the same week.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Jillian. I'd suggest just worrying about today, not the end of the week. Take it slow and literally one day at a time.

What exactly are you doing as a plan to try and stay sober? Can you add to it or change it?

headcase1

I haven't screwed up yet & I hope I never do but I think I'd be tough on myself if I did.If it was my spouse who had the problem I'd forgive the first time but put my foot down if it continued to happen.I hope you can get a long streak going again Jillian.

PurpleKnight

What's the plan then to get past and over the hurdle of a week? for me when it wasn't working it was time to change up my plan, try something new, take new steps to get me further in my Sobriety!!

Every time doesn't have to produce the same results, you can make it happen with a change of plan!!

Anna

I'm glad you're back and working on recovery.

Do you have a plan to get through the day and then move on? Is there anything you can add to your program? Ice cream is a good start.

doggonecarl

Your post previous to this one was about anger. Anger makes it real easy to say "F**# it, I'm going to drink."

Then you are left with just being angry at yourself.

You probably could have posted here when the urge hit you. But then, you were determined to drink, weren't you?

You should go back and read your old posts. Look for patterns and try to figure out a way to cope or at least how to intervene in your own behalf, before you pick up.

Mcribb

Hope you take massive action and get into some sort of treatment. Massive action gets massive results.

Mcribb

Ice cream is nice. I know eventually booze is more powerful than ice cream. I needed down and dirty massive action to get and stay sober.

Mcribb

You came to the right place plenty of support. Congrats coming on here and posting.

Dee74

welcome back Jillian

Look at what happened and why (while 'because I'm an alcoholic' might be true it doesn't help us much in understanding?)

look for other reasons specific to that day...then you can make a plan for next time, and move on

D

2muchpain

Your right that as alcoholics we deal with everything by drinking, but there's always a reason why an alcoholic drinks. I know why I relapsed recently, but unfortunately been able to come up with a way to deal with it; but at least I know why and will avoid that situation in the future until I can deal with it in a better way.
Also, try to come up with short goals, real short. Make little plans that will get you through the day. Good luck, that first week is real tough. John

Jillian2563

You are absolutely right. I need to be determined at not drinking. I know I can be stubborn.

My husband and I had a talk yesterday morning and feel good about it. But he still seems to think that we can drink in Friday and Saturday so we will have to have another discussion tonight. Didn't get a chance last night because I took a nap, cooked dinner, then went back to bed.

I do have a plan and working on tweaking it to make it work. I forgot my journal today, so I'll probably be here a lot today.

Even though I screwed up Tuesday night, I'm a little pleased as I've had more sober days these past 7 days than I have in a really long time.

SoberLeigh

It might help the discussion with your husband if you had some articles for him to read about the inability of alcoholics to moderate. It might help him to understand what you are going through.

We are here for you, Jillian. You can do this.

Ice cream helped me with the cravings. Stock up, sweetheart!!!!!

Jillian2563

Thanks Leigh. I'm hoping he will be understanding.

And the dipped ice cram cone was delicious. I think it was your suggestion a few days ago ? Lol, anyway, it was well worth the $1.58.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk

strategery

I am glad you are back here Jillian. One of the things I've had to really work on is identifying what kinds of emotions are triggering me to drink and/or identifying the thought processes that were leading me to picking up that first drink. If you can start recognizing those thought patterns or emotions, it becomes possible to take a proactive approach when they are popping up and how to handle them.
I am not sure if this will help you, but when I was feeling cravings, I would make myself fill in this blank, "I want to drink today because_______". It made me take pause and think about what was triggering me to drink and the emotions behind it.

Jillian2563

Strat - looking back I now recognize the triggers. Tuesday our internet was down at work and I left early. I think that was one trigger, my mind telling me, early day off, you can drink! Another one I have been struggling with is anger. I guess years of emotions bottled up, literally.

strategery

Jillian, I am glad you are recognizing the your triggers.
If you can fill in the blank as you are contemplating picking up that drink, you'll recognize how crazy our rationalizations can be to drink. I remember one time I wanted a drink because I was cold. When I filled in that blank, I was a bit stunned since it just seemed ridiculous. I remember laughing and thinking, "really?!! I was wanting to drink over the weather being cold?"
The next thing you can do is you can ask yourself how drinking is going to solve the situation. Just working through these things can be very helpful and give a voice to what you're feeling. Sometimes just giving your feelings a voice can help with the cravings since you know why you're feeling something.

Nofearnobeer

Not a screw up Jillian! It's called a learning opportunity! Keep moving forward and leave that moment behind...Just take with you what you learned!